Thursday, March 31, 2005

I forgot my key! - A Dream

"I live in a dormitory type of facility, the room has an automatic lock. I need to carry my key around all the time.

This morning, I go to bathroom to wash my face and I forget my key. I am very nervous because I just realize all of my make-ups are in the room. Since I always put make-up on every day, not putting on make-up is like going out in the world with bare feet. It is just not something that I do. It is really annoying and..... I could not remember the rest of the scenario. "

Dreams of being late, losing direction, forgetting important stuff seem to be common theme when I have slept more than my fair share.

"Is this a dream?"

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

No news is not good news

For the last several days, I had difficult time getting into my dream routine. I will get up after the first interval and then unable to go back to sleep again. Therefore no news to report for my lucid dream training.

I often found some articles, or books in the Internet talking about lucid dreaming in seven days, lucid dreaming in 30 days , lucid dreaming in 20 minutes, and so on..... I now wonder, are these people really know anything about lucid dreaming? Or they may be just copy the material from others and they themselves do not practice what they preach. Writing a book in this age is not difficult. We all have all the worlds of material literally at our fingertip. From my personal experience, I don't think lucid dreaming can be mastered in 20 minutes, a weekend or even in a month. I myself have been practicing conscientiously for about 2 months and yet I can't even recall half of my dreams.

As one of the authors suggested, learning to dream consciously is like learning a new language. How long will it take to learn adequately a new language? A month? six month or may be a year? The fact of the matter is, it takes time, sometimes a considerable amount of time, as I now realized. Well, it is one of the skills that worth going after, I am sure of that.

"All things are of the substance of dreams", "Is this a dream?"

Saturday, March 26, 2005

House hunting - A Dream

This is a Saturday morning. I woke up from the loud noise of on-heater a few minutes before 4 1/2 hour interval of 6:00am , my mouse was dry, I went downstairs to turn the heater thermostat down, and back up to lay on the bed trying to remember my dreams. Nothing came up. I reset the alarm to 7:30am and went to bed again.

Mom, my two sisters were with me, we were on our way to see a house located in the state of Missouri. We took on a train ride very conveniently take us right to the house. I remember there was a conductor making conversation with us along the way, although the content was not clear. In order to prevent getting lost, my younger sister and mom was a team, the other sister and me was another team, taking care of each other. We got into the house, and inspected the layout, there were at least two bedroom downstairs, and bedrooms were situated adjacent to each other. We stayed over night to get a feel of this house. I remember seeing a compass made out of white piece of paper, with strange dial and marking on it. I was trying to figure out how this thing works, and we supposed to use it to check the direction.

The house was adaquent but not great. Then again we took a train ride back home. The dream faded and I got up very tired! This was another dream that did not follow through of its course. I thought of dream re-entry of shamanic approach. Could it be possible to know what we were trying to accomplish by going back to the dream and explore deeper onto the message it might bring?

Friday, March 25, 2005

Mixed matched of dream pieces!

I was in the theater for China's program to train new, young stars of dancers and singers. I saw a beautiful girl, she was a teacher demonstrating her talent and skill in dancing and mostly singing. She had beautiful voice.

My sister and I were spectators of all these, there were many young girls surrounding that teacher. The teacher's performance was impeccable.

Then the scene changed to an expansive grass of outdoor. Our company was having a conference, so we gathered together on the lawn next to our office building to discuss some issues. But what were the issues that we were discussing, I have no impression.

A figure, a person, giving a lecture, and I was flipping through my journal to get a match of the date of lecture. The reason of my finding a match was not clear.

When I got up about 6:30am , I felt completely exhustive and extremely tired.

I did not feel tired for the last several days when I could not remember any trace of my dream. Could it possible that the act of remembering of my dreams can consume a good amount of my energy?

All the above frament of dreams have one thing in common, it is incomplete. It is as if I were reading random segments of a novel without knowing the whole story. I am wondering, with the re-entry of dream as Mr. Moss suggested, could I retrive other pieces of the puzzle and see a whole picture of my dreams? There are so much to learn and so little time to learn it.

"All things are of the substance of dreams"

Thursday, March 24, 2005

"Conscious Dreaming" from Robert Moss

The last several days I have not remembered any trace of dream. One night, I got up with no recall of any dreams whatsoever. Then, last night, I heard alarm sounded at 5:00am, but I just shut it off and went back to sleep. I was disappointed of myself. I think I am highly motivated as far as my conscious dream training, but my motivation did not carry its weight through my dream world.

I am reading a book called Conscious Dreaming, from Robert Moss. A serious dream work that using dreams for spiritual development. I am particularly interested in Shaman's dream work. This is not the first time I have read about shaman. More than a year ago, I read several books about shaman, they are much more than just conscious dreamers and healers.

I like Mr. Moss's definition of shaman, "A shamanic dreamer is a conscious dreamer who has developed the ability to enter the dreamworld at will to communicate with dream guides, to journey across time and space and into other orders of reality, and bring back gifts of healing and insight for the benefits of others." I just ordered a CD from Michael Harner's shamanic journey, I hope it can help me embark on conscious dream work.

For years, I have been fascinated the infinite number of possibilities that conscious dreaming can bring. It is time to experience the power of our mind.

"Am I Dreaming?"

Monday, March 21, 2005

Accrued Taxes in NY and MA!

I was about to awake at the tailend of my dream, suddenly I heard a sharp calling of my name from my mother. It was loud as if it was right next to my bed. My body jerked and I woke up could not rememeber much of the dream content. I stayed silent for a moment, then I realized this is what they call, hypnagogic sound.

I remember vaguly about accrued taxes. The rule was that while mom was sleeping, there was no taxes accrued in the state of Massachusettes and New York, the rest of the states would continue to accrue. Whatever that mean, I have no clue. We live in Califronia, we are familiar with New York, but why Massachusettes ? We have no relatives or friends who are even remotely close to it. I was preparing my 2004's tax return this afternoon, that was for federal and the state of California. But, New York and Massachuesettes ??

I distinctly felt there were other dreams that were more significant than this one. So, I immediately lied back down on my bed, trying various positions to see if I can remember some part of it. But after about half an hour's trying, nothing came up. It was time for me to prepare for the day.

James had an oral surgery to remove 4 wisdom teeth. The procedure went well. He will recover soon.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Inappropriate behavior!

I seldom take serious nap in Saturday afternoon. What I usually do is to meditate with music. But since I am in this dream training, I thought it might be opportunity for lucid dreaming.

I saw my son's car get worked on by our mechanic, after he fixed the problem, James tried to show appreciation, so he went over and tried to hug that guy. I thought it was not appropriate. The guy was reluctant but went along. Later on, I told James that "you do not embrace a guy like that unless he is family member or you know him quite well". So, James went back to talk and apologize to him. All went well.

The scene then abruptly changed to a whole bunch of school kids of 3-5 years old crammed into a beautiful red convertible sports car. They were actually ready for a ride. I saw that and felt it was wrong for the kids that young to drive. So, I lectured them and called upon parents for their wrong doing. Then dream faded. Was I lucid? No.

For the above two dreams, there were certain level of consciouness in play, so I thought James behavior was inapproriate, and kids 2 to 5 years should not be driving sports car. But the amount of consciousness was not enought to alert me and help me to realize that I was dreaming.

"I will experience a lucid dream tonight, and I will remember my dream"

Lost again! Spiders as my passengers!

I went for a trip in Walnut area, now I was ready to go home, but I suddenly realized that I did not remember how to get home. I went to a Senior Citizen Club to ask how to get back to my home. They had no clue either. But one of them told me to hold on and he was going to find out that for me. I waited, and waited. Then I thought I gave them wrong information, I really live in Diamond Bar, not Walnut, as if it would make a difference. The guy never came back and office is closing down because it is about 5:00pm afernoon.

So, I turn around and got into my car. Holy moly! I saw many huge spiders and spider webs all over the passenger side of the car. That was quite a shock, one of the spiders were about 7 or 8 inches long. I immediately got out of the car and said to myself, " I got to tell James about this"! I woke up from that.

While I was squibbling the journal into my notepad, I found out I lost strength of my fingers, it is as if the energy of my fingers or hand has been completely drawn out. It was quite an effort that I wrote down my journal.

Now I can see, there is a common thread of my dream. I got lost everytime I got to somewhere, even in my own neighborhood. What is that? Did I have a driving phobia? Is my sense of direction so bad, that I will even get lost in my neighborhood? Well, I admit my sense of direction is pretty bad.

As to spiders, it reminds me what James told me one time , he said that he has a contract, so to speak, with our house spiders. They have an agreement of not invading each others territory. He explained to me one night, he went to his bathroom, and saw a spider busy building the net from ceiling down in the middle of the bathroom. He just told spider out loud that "You should not be here. I need to go into this space to do my thing. I suggest you pack up and go somewhere else". So, he left the bathroom, and played some games. About may be 5 minutes, he got back to the bathroom, and he saw the spider is packing up his web and ready to leave. And soon, the spider was gone, out of sight. I thought that was fascinating! But that was not the reason I dreamed spiders.

The real reason is because the morning before, I killed a spider in my bathroom. I was really debating what I was supposed to do. In a way, with my spiritual training, I should have letting it go, God created spiders and me. If I have a reason to live, spider has a reason to live. I have no right to destroy it because he gets in the way. But in an instinct, I did it anyway. Perhaps guilt prompted the dream. May be!

Friday, March 18, 2005

Water slide - A Dream

My house in Taiwan is huge, the backyard has amusement park kind of ride. I take stairs up to one of the ride, I suddenly realize that the slope is steep. I am holding on the side bar and feel apprehensive and scared of its height. At the moment I also notice that the stairs are gone. There are only two options to get off here. One side is a water slide, the other is a plastic type of cloth that one can slide slowly down the slope. I don't know how to swim so I decide to take the other route down. It is slower, not as exciting but I can't imagine myself sliding down the water slide, well I could get drowned, you know.

Then the scene changed to a display of published e-books on the counter, look quite impressive. Is it I the publisher or someone else, I am not sure. But when I woke up, e-book publishing was ringing in my ears.

I have only one hobby, that is I enjoy reading and occasionally I also enjoy writing. Since I heard so much of people saying, you can be successful in what you do only if you enjoy what you are doing. My passion is to read, to gain knowledge and also for pure entertainment. With public library as my source of books, I have read many hundreads of books all these years. What could be more satisfying than e-book publishing that can benefit other people as well as enrich myself and doing what I love to do! Yes, e-publishing is the way!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Ancient race of Markee - A Dream

Ancient race of Markee!

I was a member of Markee group, an ancient race, disciplined, royal, courageous, and honorable people. We can sometimes be aggressive and risk taking for the sake of self defense. In my dream I was a woman, earning great respect from our people.

This dream was a declaration of statement as far as what I can remembered. I do not remember any detail other than the proud feeling of that statement and a short image of group of people and myself.

My dreams are usually short. That probably has something to do with my personality. I do not enjoy mindless chatting, pointless gossiping, or small talks. If dream is the reflection of mind, then no wonder my dream would be short, hopefully to the point.

This Markee group reminds me Star Trek-The Next Generation, used to be my favorite TV series. My dream probably drew info from those episodes.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Four approaches! -A Dream

I went to bed quite late about 1:00 am last night. So, I set the alarm going off 6:30am my normal wake up hour for work. I woke up before the alarm went off, and I tried to organize my dream pieces while still lying on the bed. I had a feeling that either I was lecturing to myself or talking to other people about four approaches to life or may be four approaches to do things. I was really struggling to memorize it. Everytime I thought I got the 4 approached memorized, a few seconds later, I would lose it. I must have gone over the list several times. Here is my impression of these four approaches.

1. Prioritize things to do, and procrastinate those unimportant ones.
2. Random selections of things to do, go with the flow.
3. Do things based on the demand of others.
4 Do things in the sequence of chronological order.

I woke up after this information, there was no long drawn detail about these approaches, short and sweet.

I can tell why I put prioritize things to do first. It may be selfish, but I am in favor of being true to myself. Lately, I feel I am a bit overloaded in my job. Despite the demand of a job, I still take time to do my inner work during lunch hour, and I never ever skip a lunch. I know that my inner work is more important than just make a living. The fact that I was making a presentation out of it could indicate my commitment to my inner growth. Dream is a reflection of our mind. How true!

A lucid dream? No, only a dream.

"Am I dreaming?"

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Dream as a progress report of life

I am reading a booked called: Dreaming your real self by Joan Mazza. It's an excellent book about dream, using dreams to understand ourselves. After several chapters, I started to explore my dream journals in this blog page. I feel there are other possible interpretations of my dreams.

Keeping a dream journal, Joan suggested, it's a good idea to flash back what happened during the day. Often times, dreams are the reflection or deframentation of our current life situation. By going over what happen in our daily activites, the message, meaning and lesson of the dream could reveal itself. As she puts it : "Dream is a progress report of our current life situation."

"All things are of the substance of dreams"

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

A Banquet ?

My company was engaging in some kind of contest or fund raising of cooking. I was appointed a coordinator. I remembered going around telling everyone the procedures to follow. We had all kind of dishes, but strangely, I only remember tasting ice cream made by my boss. and there was an outside contractor present in the fund raising process. What function it served, I had no memory. Then I remember my home's wooden floor was flooded, all wet ..... I had trouble connecting dots of this dream. It did not make any sense, no central theme, and it's trivial. I woke up feeling disconnected with all these dream pieces.

I WILL experience an AMAZING lucid dream tonight!

Monday, March 07, 2005

No news is good news

There is not much news in my lucid dream training. I still do not recall any dreams after the 4 and 1/2 hour wakening. Deep inside, I know that there are lots of activites flashing in my dream mind, but the usual heavy veil of sleepiness prevent my conscious mind from uncovering its content.

My better luck is from the next 90-minute interval. I am using an affirmation throughout the day " My conscious mind is always available to me in my dream". Our conscious mind is a critical factor in the training. For all of my dreams, my conscious mind is always out for lunch or take a leave of abscence, it is never there! How can I have my conscious mind to participate in my night venture? I have no answer. Awareness and expansion of our conscious mind into the realm of unconscious will take time, dedication and patience. They literally reside in complete different dimensions. They can interpenetrate each other but only through diligent training. Well, to get to where I want to be, I have no choice but keep trying.

"My Conscious mind is always available to assist me in my dream"

Am I dreaming?

Friday, March 04, 2005

Self imposed belief and behavior?

I am ready to go on a trip by train. I don't know the destination, but it is somewhere west of Los Angeles. I am walking down the stairs of train station, but I am confused, I don't know which terminal to go. So, I ask a lady, "Can you tell me which station I need to go, I need to get to Los Angeles." She said, follow me, I am going the same direction. I feel relieved and follow her moving about the zig-zag mazes of the station to the ticket window.

The cost for the ride is $15.00. It's my turn for the purchase, I pull a $20 bill and give it to the clerk. (I don't remember getting $5.00 back). Then the clerk just hand me a big stack of coins ( tickets to ride) and tell me to pick however many coins that I think is worth of the money I paid. I somehow instinctly calculate in my mind and assuming 1 coins is worth of 3 dollars, so I pick 5 coins that amount to $15.00, the cost of the train ride.

While we are waiting for the train, the lady is interested in the fruit display in the vending machine. She ask me to hold her coins for her while she grab something to eat. I look at the coins and suddenly realize that she has 15 coins. Well, I was mistaken, I need 15 coins to ride and now I am short of 10 coins. I am thinking about going back to the ticket window to get more, but the train is coming. It is too late, I panic....and feel embarrassed, I don't want that lady to know that I am so stupid that I paid for the full price and yet only get 5 coins. Now I don't know what to do... then I woke up from this uneasy situation.

If dreams are the reflection of mind. What this dream really means? I was contemplating it throughtout the day. May be it doesn't have any meaning at all , or could it possible that it is reflecting my deep seated subconscious programming?

In the dream scene, the clerk who handed me a big stack of coins (tickets) did say that I can have as many coins as I think its worthy of my payment. Well, I could have grabbed a handful of may be 15, 30 or more, but I chose to pick only 5. Am I having a self imposed limiting belief that I am only worthy of 5 coins? Am I just short changed myself about my life's achievement and worthiness? You may think I have stretched too far for it is only a dream. Is it?

The lesson and message from our dream is usually subtle, imbedded and hidden behind the scene. I am fascinated with our mind and our dream. It uses story, scenery, interaction with others, and ten million other totally outrageous and illogical ways to convey and to communicate. Isn't that fantastic? It can be a truly wonderful adventure. One of the reasons I pursue the lucid dreaming training is because I like to explore my inner consciousness, the part of me that knows all, sees all, and is all. It is out here just several square inches above my neck. Scientists call that our three-pound universe.

"Man, know yourself, and you will know the universe and the gods"

Thursday, March 03, 2005

"Understanding the system" a manual for life!

This has been the third nights that I was not able to sleep after the 4 and 1/2 hour's wake up. I feel a little frustrated. If I can't fall asleep then I can't experience any dreams, let alone lucid dreaming. I hope the situation is only temporary.

last week, I re-discovered a book that I bought 2 years ago. The book called, "Understanding the System". I read it again since last weekend. It is a book full of wisdom. This is not an ebook, it is beautifully bounded in 3-ring binder. After I finished reading it, I can not help thinking "I would love to get this book to a million hands". The messages are powerful and very enlightening. So, I called the phone number listed, and sent email contact. But, unfortunately, neither the number nor the email were working. Have they gone out of business? It is possible!

I have read many beautiful and powerful books over the last 4 years that are now out of print. It is possible that the wisdom and knowledge conveyed in those books are so advanced spiritually , majority of humanity are not ready to accept them. There are simply not enough audience to sustain its existence.

I really like to contact the author of "Understanding the System". I like to see if he has any projects that worth pursuing. My proposal will be to form a partner with one of my favorite e-zine author to promote this book in the internet. Well, it is a great idea that has to wait for now.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Am I dreaming?

For the last two days, I did not have much success in lucid dreaming training. Early this morning, I used affirmation after the first 4 and 1/2 wakening, I recited many times "Next time I am dreaming, I want to remember to recognise I am dreaming". I found myself unable to sleep after the affirmation. Well, no sleep no dream.

During the day, I repetitvely affirm "All things are of the substance of dreams", "Am I dreaming?", whenever I get up from my chair, walk over the hallway, go to bathroom, turn around a corner. I am trying to instill my waking moment with this realization and question. Hopefully, the practice could spill over to the dream state, and I will ask the question when I am dreaming.

All things are of the substance of dreams.

Am I dreaming?