Sunday, February 27, 2005

Funny looking-hat and tattered blue jeans! - Dreams

Funny looking-hat and tattered blue jeans!

This early morning, I experimented one of the lucid dreaming induction techniques called "Wild", Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming. After the 1st 90 minutes woke up, I got back to sleep again (because this is Sunday), and started counting process of "1... I am dreaming, 2... I am dreaming, 3... I am dreaming ....". If somewhere along random thought interrupt the counting, I supposed to go back to 1 again. When I read that technique, I thought it was simple and I definitely can do it.

Here is what happened when I did it early morning.

I will count to about 6 then a random thought will pop into my mind, " why are your doing this? this is not supposed to be, .....", then I lost count. Allright, no problem back to square one. "1... I am dreaming, 2... I am dreaming, 3... I am dreaming...." then about 7, again " Have you finished working on that project?" "Time is running out......", lost count again. I was in this hopeless loop for at least seven or eight times, until I suddenly realized what was happening. All right, I now resolve to have uninterrupted counting at least to 50. I finally was able to count to 50, with one interruption that I did not reset to 1 again. I thought I was a meditator, the silence of mind is no stranger to me. Little did I know, our mind sometimes has mind of its own. We have very little control over it unless we exert some effort. This method supposed to keep body asleep and mind awake to the point that I will gradually slip into the dream state but still have my conscious mind awake and aware. I shall do it again some other time.

After a while, I had two brief dreams.

I am having a conversation with a colleage who I worked with at Falcon Cable TV. more than 10 years ago. He is asking me some financial data that I showed him earlier. But I am not able to understand his question. He also wear a very funny looking hat while he is talking, I thought to my self to compliment him, but when he turn around from his previous position the hat is gone. strange.....

I somehow quite conscious and aware that my pant fall out in front of my colleage, I am not embarrassed or ashamed, but I feel a need to get another pant, but I could not find anything suitable. One of the pants is smelly so I put it back. The only one that I can find is a tattered blue jeans. I hesitate , then I see another co-worker have one on which is completely torn apart. Well, since she can wear that then I can wear this. Dream faded!

There is no physical law, no social constraint, simply no laws of any kind exist in the dream world. It might be the reason I was not embarrassed of my pant fell off. When we are in the dream state, anything goes, anything is possible.

A dream world is a unique dimension unlike that of waking world. We have the opportunities to loosing up, seeing reality in different light, performing miraculously superman-like task of flying, traveling to enchanting distant land in an instant. Anything imaginable is possible. That is where I am going!

" All things are of the substance of dreams "

Am I dreaming?

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Helicopter for mom and Lost in the jungle of city

Helicopter for mom and Lost in the jungle of city!

Early morning about 4:30 am I woke up from alarm, tried to think of my dream content. But the only impression is, I dreamed, but what?

The next 90 minute interval I woke up at about 6:00 am, vaguly remembering that my family bought a helicopter for my mom. All of us were gathering on the field to learn how to use it. Then I woke up from it laughing to myself, a helicopter?

Since this is Saturday morning, I don't intend to get up early. So, I did not set alarm and got right back to sleep.

Here is the next dream scenario:

I am driving to work and arrive at a business district located at the corner of Wilshire and Wells Fargo, I get on the elevator and then find out that this is not where I should be working. I supposed to be working at the corner of Wilshire and Pacific. The time is 7:15am. I am a little worried that I will be late. But, I decide to have a breakfast in a near dairy shop. The dairy shop are full of teenagers, some playing games, some doing homework. One of them talk to me and say something like, that particular food is good here. The table is dirty so I ask waitress to clear the table. I then think of calling my co-worker Cristina to get the direction to go to my office. (whether I called or not, I have no recall)

And then the dream faded. When I woke up I felt everything was fine and was relieved to know that.

There were opportunities here for my gaining lucidity if my conscious mind was present. First, the place I work, second, the teenagers in dairy shop early morning in the business district. These are unusual situations, but my conscous mind did not kicked in to recognize the oddity of these. So, I dreamed but not aware that I was dreaming!

This last scenario is much more vivid than most of my dreams, but still lack of continuity and coherence. More work to do!

Am I dreaming?

Friday, February 25, 2005

A baseball turns to cellphone - A Dream

This early morning I dreamed of some big guys playing baseball. They have great skills that are enviable by others. At the end of the game, I saw one of the player threw a fast ball to another player. The other player caught the ball with ease, but strange thing is as soon as he caught the ball, it suddenly became a cell phone, and he was talking to it. I then woke up from it.

This is another case of missed opportunity. My critical thinking faculty (conscious mind) just isn't working in my dream. I did not recognize the strangeness of the ball turning into a cell phone. I have not learned to ask question when something strange like this happens.

In my dream I was not a participant in the game, I was more like a spectator. I also had the feeling that I only remember the tail end of my dream. There was much to it that I couldn't remember. I wonder may be I should get into some kind of memory training so that I can remember the whole dream.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Roll-up machine for Dad!

I got this unsettling dream about my father. In the dream, he asked me to change his wound dressing, but I don't know how. Instead I called my mon to do it. He was upset that I couln't do it for him. And then strange thing is, we have a machine that I suppose to roll my father up 2-3 feet high and then gently put him down. Because he was upset, he dropped himself 2-3 feet down abruptly. I was sure it can hurt a lot.

When I woke up, I thought the machine itself did not make any sense. But since the logical portion of my mind is completely turn off while I was in the dream state, I did not question the validity or the function of the machine. It seemed normal and made perfect sense at the time.

If I was lucid, I probably took my father for a flight knowing that it does not matter my father was sick or well, in the dream state, the deaf can hear, the blind can see, the sick get well. A whole new universe is waiting to be explored with unlimited potentiality. Yes, even the sky is no limit.

Am I dreaming?

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Fear of getting lost!

I have no doubt that I had dreamed right before I woke up at 5:00am, but because of heavy sleep, I had hard time staying focus or recall any of it.

I woke up from the second interval alarm of 6:30am, the dreams were still foggy, I can recall only small portion of two scenarios.

I and my son stayed in a hotel. When it was time to leave, I wasn't ready, interesting though, people that will occupy my suite suddenly flooding into my door, I was devastated. Luckily, a person reported the situation to the staff and I was able to stay.

Another dream was that the staff of my company needed to drive 8 miles down the 57 freeway for a meeting. I was reluctant to do so and felt apprehensive. I was worried that giving my terrible sense of direction, I could not find the meeting place.

These dreams have the element of fear and insecurity. It is quite possible an extension of my waking situation.

If I were lucid, what will the scenarios be different? Well, one of the possibilities might be to confront my issue, know that I am in control, to dissolve the uneasiness and apprehension and to act fully confident that I have great sense of direction, will quickly find the meeting place and enjoy the ride. To be lucid in a dream enables us to have power and opportunity to transform our life.

Am I Dreaming?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Can't rember a damn thing!

Due to the weekend, I always sleep late. Last night, I watched a movie "Cleopatra" a 1999 version. I watched the old one had " Elizabeth Taylor" as a starring role more than 20 years ago. That production may be grand and expensive at the time, but 1999's version made this historically mesmerizing figure alive and vibrant. She was not only beautiful, but also smart, ambitious, risk taking, sinister at a time, a true surviver. That film went great length to plot the character brilliantly. I really enjoyed the movie. By the time I finished watching, it was about 1:00am.

May be because I slept late, the set schedule was interrupted. I could not remember anything on either the first interval or the second interval setting. But strange though, I felt that I had dreamed a complex dream with many zigzag scenarios in it, I just can't get a handle of it.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

A Goddess?

Last night, I had trouble falling asleep on the 90 minutes interval. We had heavy rain in Southern California coupled with several explosive thunder storms. I felt the ground shook very distinctly and imagined there might be something out there hit by the lightening.

After a long while I started to have a dream, I remembered my boss was in the scene, she was instructing me for some religious ritual that I repeatedly questioned her. I kept saying, "Is that what you mean ?" for every instruction she gave me.

And then the scene changed, I was entering a temple-like structure , sensing myself wearing a beautiful white silk-like gown, my shoulders were bare, looking very much like a goddess. I entered the temple and people bowed to me, however, I just remembered my walking into it and could not remember what happened afterwards.

I was not lucid in the dream. Apparently, my reality checking habit has not sunk deep enough into my subconscious mind.

I am getting a digital watch this weekend. The reality checking habit need to be cemented into deeper part of my mind in order for me to be aware that I am dreaming.

I also have several arsenals by my side for my lucid dreaming practice. I have just borrowed from local library Stephen LaBerge's lucid dreaming books. I heard that by constantly reading books about lucid dreaming is one way of getting the subconscious mind in gear for the real thing.

PS. This part of journal comes after several hours of thinking of my early morning's dream.
Now, come to think of it. I may be very close to having lucidity in my dream. The act of questioning my boss' instructions may be a signal of my trying to validate the logic or reasonableness of her instruction. Unfortunately, I did not remember any of her instruction, so I can't say that for sure. To be able to ask "Am I dreaming" inside of our dream, is one of the common ways to gain lucidity. It is when we encounter something strange, or out of ordinary that we ask the question and then the subsequent act of reality checking becomes possible.

Am I dreaming? :)

Friday, February 18, 2005

A woman and smelly trash - A Dream

I followed the set schedule to get up 4:30 am last night , but felt groggy and sluggish, could not remember anything. I then set the 90 minutes interval alarm of 6:00am. This time I woke up 5 minutes earlier than the set time and remembered some of my dream.

A young woman was in the dream, I did not remember how she looked like, but sensed that she has certain charm. She persuaded my son and me to take her in and also paid her. I was skeptical of her motive. In my dream I thought she was kind of person that once you got involved with her, it would be very difficult to get rid of. And then the scene changed to weekly trash collection in our neightborhood. I forgot to put my trash can out of my house, so I watched the truck sped off and left my trash can (full of trash) behind. I got kind of sinking feeling. I had to tell my mom that I would haul the trash can to Albertson's dump site. I also physically handled the ugly, and smelly trash.

A weird and meaningless dream. But the fact that I got up 5 minutes before the alarm sounded was an improvement.

Now that I have 4-5 days entries of my dreams, I can detect some pattern . The first 4 and half hours of sleep served the purpose of relaxation and rejuvenation. That was absolutely essential for my physical and mental health. That is why I was not able to recall any of my dreams for that period, because I need at least that much time of sleep. I also noticed that I do not sleep too soundly for the next 90 minutes. I would be affirming " I will remember my dreams tonight" many times and enter into twilight state of consciousness. In a way, I think I am making some progress here. As a matter of fact, it's kind of exciting to go to bed, bacause you never know what is coming up in the dream.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Where were my dreams?

I am afraid I do not have any meaningful reflection on my dream journal today cause I could not remember any dreams at all.

In the Lucid Dreaming Kit, Bradley Thompson suggested to buy a digital watch so that we can do reality checking every hour on the hour. I think this might be a good idea. Since I now do reality checking very randomly and sometimes entire half day will pass before I remember doing it. I need to put a lot more effort on this early stage of learning lucid dreaming.

As a beginner of learning lucid dreaming, the most important thing is to have good dream recall. This part will be the hardest and probably takes the longest practice, at least for me. As I have mentioned in my previous journals, my dream recalls were mostly skatchy, incoherent and fragmented.

Like last night, I knew I dreamed deep in my psyche, but just could not get any impression of what happened. It is almost like my dreams were buried under 6-foot deep sand, I knew they were there, but where? and what?

Ok, enough of this "beat myself up". I surfed the Net and found out many people also experience what I have gone through. After all, to master lucid dreaming is no one night stand. It takes effort, intention and a lot of patience. So, let's get started!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Shopping for two - A Dream

I have followed the routine last night. The first interval of 4 and 1/2 hours waking up did not bear any fruit of dreams of any kind. So, I set up subsequent 90 minutes interval and woke up at 6:30am.

My dream was vague and foggy. I remembered my co-worker Trista was there. I remembered about go shopping, got to the register stand and paid two items, but what did I buy was completely beyond me. And there was a sense of favor being played out here. I think partially because of my relationship with Trista. She and I have been working on AT & T's accounts closely, we have been helping each other in that regard. But the dream thing was just bits and pieces, like puzzle that had many missing pieces, and it was completely incomprehensive.

I was contemplating my approach of learning lucid dream. I would like to abandon using "Audio Stimulation CD", as least temporarily. This CD is 1 hour long, and I know that when the CD is playing, I would not fall asleep. So, I practically lose good one hour of sleep. By the time of first interval I was still tired and sleepy. Instead of using this electronic gadget, I am going to use reality checking, intention affirmation and let nature take over the learning process. I don't know how thing will work out, or how long it would take, but I am going to continue on course to learn lucid dreaming.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The best has yet to come!

My dream session for Last night was disapponting. I did not remember having any dreams on 4 and 1/2 hours and subsequent 90 minutes interval setting. Nothing, a Zip! So, I am going to stop my journal right here. Stay tuned for my next journal. Who knows, may be the best has yet to come!

Monday, February 14, 2005

A conspiracy ?

Last night, I faithfully set up alarm to go off at 5:00am. But for some reason, I heard the alarm but I was too tired to get up. So, I actually just turned it off and went back to sleep. I did not even set up the 90 minutes interval. But I must have some kind of internal clock set, I woke up at 6:30am and remembered some part of my dream.

I dreamed of a person who had an association with me long time ago. The person seemed to engage in some kind of deception, but I didn't quite get what was it. Th person either tried to alter or destroy certain kind of evidence. Then I found out the deception, so I said to the person that if you use that to against me, you will get consequences. I did not remember my tone of voice. Was I threatening or just give a warning, I don't know. The attitude of the person seemed to be indifferent of what he was trying to do. And then, I woke up from the dream.

Come to think of it, there were many of my dreams like this, no conclusions, no full account of what's happening, just bits and pieces. It would be nice that a dream has a continuous story line. But for a starter, I just want to be lucid in my dream and remember it.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

my car

Last night, I set up an alarm to go off at 5:00am. While I woke up, I had an impression of having a dream but I could not remember any detail of it.

So, I set up the next interval of 90 minutes of alarm at 6:30am. This time I remembered I was in some kind of business trip. When I got back to where my car parked, I found my car's layout was quite strange. The hood of my car was all lay flat on the ground and the front panel instruments were all attached to the hood. Apparently the instruments are all on the "ON" position. I also noticed that my car was not my white-color Toyota Camry, instead it was Honda Accord ( my son's car). If I were lucid at the time, I would have noticed the strangeness of the whole thing and asked "Am I dreaming?" and then realized that I was in a dream, and started to take control of the direction and content. But this dream was like thousands that I have over the years. Nothing is illogical in the dream world. You could see a blue moon and bright red trees and felt totally making sense. The key is to instill the conscious mind into that realm and question it's validity. The dream world is the world of thoughts and thought forms, and the construction of the content is instantaneous. Time is not linear like what we know in the conscious world. Fascinating indeed!

I guess I have a long way getting there. Well, as they say, the journey itself is worthwhile.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Rome isn't build in one minute, no dream? no problem!

Last night, about 12:30 am I set up my alarm to go off at 5:30am. Well, I woke up just about 10:00 minutes before 5:30am, and my mind drew completely blank of any signs and hints of dreams. It was as if I was completely dreamless during those hours. So, I got up and read some book. To continue my experiment, I set up alarm again 90 minutes later, which is about 7:10am.

Well, I found myself unable to sleep after that. I got a feeling that I was conscious the whole time. So, before the alarm went off at 7:10am, I put on my "Super Longevity" CD for half an hour of programming session.

Apparently, last night's session was not successful. I was quite diligent on setting the intent of having a lucid dream and also being able to remember it. I have probably affirming the statement over 10 minutes long. But as they say, Rome is not built in one day. So, I will continue to program my mind for lucid dreaming. A thousand miles journey starts in a single step. Here I am!

Friday, February 11, 2005

A new year resolution!

Time is just quietly ticking away every moment of our life. It has been a month that I was absent from my blog page. I am now contemplating what I would like to accomplish this year.

Astral travel seems to be a hit or miss kind of thing. I occasionally have the experience but it is not truly profound or particularly meaningful. I think lucid dreaming would be a good way to know myself in a deeper level. "Dreams are the royal roads to the knowledge of the mind." We spend typically 6-8 hours a day sleeping. Well, why not make it an adventure ? We all know that dreams are the creation of our unconscious mind, the part that houses our experiences, our emotions, our likes, dislikes, our fears, our desires for all the thousands of incarnations.

In order to evolve spiritually, we need to know ourselves ( noted it is plural) and eventually transcend all the illusions that we hold so dearly in this physical plane of existence. Dream is a perfect instrument for spiritual advancement. The fact that we all dreams , and that we all sleep, make it a great tool to understand deeper part of us.

So, from this point on, I will be recording on my blog page my dream experiences and make it my dream log. My new year resolution for the year 2005 is to learn lucid dreaming and make it an adventure of the mind.

For the last week, I felt excited just by readying myself for going to bed. I actually looking forward to it. So, stay tuned! I am going to experience a lucid dream tonight.

On Sunday night, 5th of February 2005, I actually remembered myself using a sharp blade to kill two snakes. When I woke up from the dream, I had a sense of euphoria, sensing that I have done something that I would have never done before.

I actually killed two snakes with absolute no fear. That is incredible!