Saturday, October 30, 2004

My Life Purpose

Wow, I have been absent from logging into my blog page for about a month. During this month, I have gone through many roller coaster emotional ride. First of all, I read a novel called, "Da Vinci Code". It is a fascinating story but this novel also got me inspired to want to travel to see the world. This got me really depressed.

I started to fantasize the possibility of getting out of job (Just over broke) and do what I really want to do. I have been working on reaching highest goal for about 4 years. I just felt that I was not progressing fast enough. I have limited time to do my meditation and other related program. Actually, I literally taking very little lunch so that I have time to work on my program.

As if it is not enough, there was an incident that at work that got me fully awakened to the fact that I am not doing the things that is in alignment with my life purpose. I don't feel fulfilled of what I am doing.

So, I searched all over and found "Inner Expansion" program. I got my life chart knowing my strongest spiritual gift is prophecy, which is inner knowing, hunches. I believe that is probably true. Then in the session of the chart talking about my life purpose, that session was quite unsettling.

My life purpose according to "Inner Expansion"'s reading is "I convey my inner feelings with gentleness". I thought that couldn't be my life purpose. It just sound too simple , if that is my life purpose, does it take a whole life to live and share this little sentence? I still have doubt of all these. The founder and chartist in Inner Expansion are great people. They tried to help me to connect to my spiritual helpers, but I seemed to not getting it for whatever the reason.
Then I was invited to go to a seminar about investment in tax lien certificate.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Monkey Mind / Still Mind

Our mind is like many monkeys, many monkeys jumping around from one tree to another. We will not notice it until we try to still it. There are times that my meditation is absolutely blissful, but most of the time they are chaotic. The still point may last for 3 to 5 minutes, before you know it the thought just sneak into our mind screen without our detecting it, and suddenly a full blown movie just winding down before us.

For 1 1/2 hour meditation, the true still point is probably half of this time or less. No wonder not many people in the entire history of mankind has reached enlightenment. It is hard work and there is hardly any reward in this physical world. But the true aspirant is undaunted in spite of many obstacle courses.

For what I know, less and less people are interested in reaching true cosmic consciousness in this age. It is simple to see why. Back in many years ago, life is hard, I mean really really hard. There were no dish washer, no microwave oven, no refrigerator, no movie, no means of transportation, no heater, no air conditioning, no fast food store, no supermarket. We had to do almost everything ourselves in order to survive. Life is not worth living for what I can see.

But the 20th and 21st centuries are entirely different. We have almost everything we need prepared for us by many very well established industries, life is wonderful. We, ordinary folks have amenities that will be envied by King or Queen of prior centuries.

So, what in it for me to reach enlightenment? It is a choice, I choose to do the things I do, I choose to forgo long lunch so that I can meditate the precious 45 minutes, I choose to get up early 5:00am to meditate, I choose to do 1 hour meditation before going to bed. I choose to vibrate and radiate love, light and harmony throughout the day as best as I can. I choose to embrace all being, good or bad. I choose to suspend judgment and interpretation of other people's behavior. I choose to accommodate everyone and everything that come in contact with me. I choose to smile to all that I meet. I choose to say hello to the trees, the mountains, the blooming flowers that I see along the freeway. I choose to meditate 5 to 10 minutes standing in the bathroom.

Since free will is one of the traits granted by the Divine Consciousness to all human being, I might as well choose to live according to the right divine order. Well, if you don't choose what I have just said before, don't despair. There is a difference between what you choose to do and what your ultimate action is. Sometimes, we just don't feel like to do something even if it is a right thing to do. Sickness, disappointment, fear and all other negative emotions can pull us back temporarily out of our right divine order. But to err is human, it is not possible for us to vibrate excitement and happiness 24 hours a day and sometimes not even 1/3 of it. But we will be able to get out of sour mood faster if we stay on course. Stay on the course of right divine order is habit forming just like anything else, the more we stay the more we intone with that energy. Before we know it, the habit is formed and rooted in our conscious and subconscious mind.