Monday, September 26, 2005

Valet Parking - A Dream

I had trouble doing my meditation this morning, after about 1 and 1/2 hours struggle to still my mind, I gave up and went back to sleep. Then I had the following fragmented dream.

I was working in my office, and using this bulky, ugly, old and dusty computer at my work. I felt a little distressed of working on that computer. When the day was over, we were all line up in the parking lot, waiting for bellboy to pick up our car because our company have valet parking service. I was nervously fumbling into my purse to get my ID and my ticket. I sensed the unusual nature of valet parking, but just like any other dreams, I did not question it's validity. So the valet parking at my company seemed to be normal, but I had a little sense of annoyance of having to wait for my car.

note: As to Calea Z experiment, I took six capsules on Friday night, it was about 3,000 milligram, but I had no lucid dream experience, as a matter of fact, I did not recall any dream at all, let alone lucid! Apparently, Calea Z of dream herb has no effect on me. I guess I will have to learn lucid dreaming on my own.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Calea Z, "Leaf of God"?

Eight months ago when I started to learn Lucid Dreaming, I cam across websites and some books mentioning Calea Z, a dream herb, that is also called "Leaf of God". I managed to get 24 capsules just several days ago.

I tried three nights in a row taking 2 capsules the first two nights and 3 capsules the third night. Guess what? I had no recall of any dreams at all during these three nights. It is like my memory was being wiped out to a clean slate. This herb was supposed to help me to have vivid, lucid dream. My experience was completely opposite of what it supposed to do. I was really disappointed. Well, after the uneventful third night, I decided to give it a rest for three days, and I will pick it up again on Friday and will increase the dosage to 4 capsule.

Some people also mentioned about having a sense of well-being and clarity of consciousness after taking Calea Z, but I simply could not experience anything good or bad.

I don't know this herb that I bought is really Calea Z, but I did open the capsule and tasted a tiny bit of it, and it was very bitter just as some books have described.

Tomorrow, Friday, I will resume taking the "Leaf of God" and see what happens.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The first small taste of lucid experience

I got up 4:55 am, had about 1 1/2 hours meditation to 6:30 am , I then intended just to rest a few minutes. Within the next 15 minutes, I had a dream that I believe I was lucid and was able to control and direct my thought. I woke up feeling odd, happy and could not stop laughing at myself.

I drove to the direction of international airport. I parked my car and for some reason I needed to get something in the car, I looked up and down the parking lot and could not find it. I thought that was strange cause I just parked it a minute ago.

I walked into the busy terminal, crowds were all over the place, people were standing and walking shoulder to shoulder, at that point, I gained some lucidity and purposely touched the luggage, travel bags and thought to myself, "It is so real". I suddenly remember the book that I read about lucid dream and what people do when they are lucid. I decided I want to kiss someone. So, I searched male passengers that is at least ok-looking and find one person standing there as if he was waiting for someone. He had mustache and not bad looking, I approached him and kissed him on the lips, I really did not feel anything particular except the bristle touch of his mustache.

I stood in the terminal a while trying to figure out what I wanted to do next that I was lucid. I thought I like to fly. In the instant that I out-stretched my arms, off I went flying. I flew to the top corner of the terminal, looking down enjoying hustles and bustles of frenzy activities below. Knowing that nothing can hurt me, I purposely flew past the concrete walls of the terminal and landed on the other side. And then I thought to do the 360 degree spin over just to see how it felt, while I was spinning I also started to wake up.

I woke up smiling. Wow, that was the first lucid dream I have experienced.

Monday, September 12, 2005

"The Justice On the Grass" A Book by Dina Temple-Raston

I have read a book, "The Justice On the Grass" recounting the 1994 Rwanda Massacre by Dina Temple-Raston. It is a story of Tribunal's media trial. A must read for people interested in the unfolding and underlying historical causes of genocide in Rwanda.

Millions of people were swayed by decades of hatred and media incitement, Rwanda was a Dante's Inferno. The incident was so profound, even now when anyone mention Rwanda, genocide is the first thought that pop into people's mind. And this happened just a decade ago in the late Twentieth Century, a recent history.

In the book, the author indicated that Nazi's extermination of Jews took about nine years to manifest, a million lives were lost, but Rwanda lost about 800,000 people in a span of only 100 days. The killing were quite efficient. It was like entire nation was hypnotized by the sphere of hatred and completely lost their senses in the mindless killing spree, humanity at it's darkness.

For me who is in the path of wanting to know the truth of the universe, I often ask, "Have these people learned a lesson in their lifetime?" "Are these experiences necessary for the growth of souls?" I don't know the true answer, but from want I have learned and experienced, I know that all pain and suffering are life lessons in disguise, it meant to be a spiritual test; just like the test in which I am now undergoing.