Saturday, March 19, 2005

Lost again! Spiders as my passengers!

I went for a trip in Walnut area, now I was ready to go home, but I suddenly realized that I did not remember how to get home. I went to a Senior Citizen Club to ask how to get back to my home. They had no clue either. But one of them told me to hold on and he was going to find out that for me. I waited, and waited. Then I thought I gave them wrong information, I really live in Diamond Bar, not Walnut, as if it would make a difference. The guy never came back and office is closing down because it is about 5:00pm afernoon.

So, I turn around and got into my car. Holy moly! I saw many huge spiders and spider webs all over the passenger side of the car. That was quite a shock, one of the spiders were about 7 or 8 inches long. I immediately got out of the car and said to myself, " I got to tell James about this"! I woke up from that.

While I was squibbling the journal into my notepad, I found out I lost strength of my fingers, it is as if the energy of my fingers or hand has been completely drawn out. It was quite an effort that I wrote down my journal.

Now I can see, there is a common thread of my dream. I got lost everytime I got to somewhere, even in my own neighborhood. What is that? Did I have a driving phobia? Is my sense of direction so bad, that I will even get lost in my neighborhood? Well, I admit my sense of direction is pretty bad.

As to spiders, it reminds me what James told me one time , he said that he has a contract, so to speak, with our house spiders. They have an agreement of not invading each others territory. He explained to me one night, he went to his bathroom, and saw a spider busy building the net from ceiling down in the middle of the bathroom. He just told spider out loud that "You should not be here. I need to go into this space to do my thing. I suggest you pack up and go somewhere else". So, he left the bathroom, and played some games. About may be 5 minutes, he got back to the bathroom, and he saw the spider is packing up his web and ready to leave. And soon, the spider was gone, out of sight. I thought that was fascinating! But that was not the reason I dreamed spiders.

The real reason is because the morning before, I killed a spider in my bathroom. I was really debating what I was supposed to do. In a way, with my spiritual training, I should have letting it go, God created spiders and me. If I have a reason to live, spider has a reason to live. I have no right to destroy it because he gets in the way. But in an instinct, I did it anyway. Perhaps guilt prompted the dream. May be!

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