The path to enlightenment is never straight forward. There are times that I have doubt of my meditation. There seems to be nothing happening. I will have some productive sessions, but a lot of time unproductive ones. I long for out of body experiences but they don't come under my will power. And lucid dream is just that an unfulfilled dream.
I have been studying metaphysical sciences, meditating daily, reading many books on like-kind subjects, contemplating my life's issues, receiving challenging karmic situations. It seems that the more that I determine to reach my dream, the more challenging life situations become. May be I have given myself a very tough assignment before my incarnation, but I forgot about it due to the passing of water of forgetfulness.
I am not against challenges. But sometimes I wish I know why things happened the way they did. I fully subscribe to the immutable universal law of cause and effect. I just like to know the causes of what is happening. Many metaphyscial study indicated that by meditating regularly, we are more attuned to akashic record of the universe, therefore past, present and future literally become open books for us. I suspect this is going to take a very long time and with tremendous discipline and effort. I am certainly no where near it at this stage.