Saturday, November 26, 2005

A Trial?

A trial meant to test how well that we have learned our lessons and how well we have applied our lessons to our daily living. For the last several months, I feel that I am in a stage of being tested spiritually. Sometimes I am triumphant, I am being my best self, loving and supportive in every way. but other times I fall back to my old doubtful and bitter self. Am I encountering what they called, "dark nights of the soul" that every seeker bounds to meet sooner or later?

For all that I know about why are we here, why some people have to suffer while others live a charmed life (at least it appears that way). I still can not brush off the possibility of my contribution to other people's suffering. I have a feeling that finally karmic debts that have accumulated over past and present lives have caught up with me. In spite of good work that I have done ( at least I think I have done) at work and in other areas of my life, my family situation is dire. Bitterness, blame, illness and depression hung over the air that we breathe, most unhealthy to the spirit.

I hope I know the answer of what should be done! But non existed that I know of! I shall continue walk the path and do the best that I can and let the Divine take care of the rest.