Monday, September 03, 2007

Inner Crisis of a Saint - Mother Theresa

There was a news report a few weeks ago talking about Mother Theresa's spiritual crisis lasted nearly half of a century. In the public eye, she was kind, self sacrificing and compassionately living among the poorest of the poor, but deep inside she was desperate, empty and frustrated longing for heavenly confirmation of her deeds and actions. She captured the heart and soul of millions worldwide, but she thought she failed to capture the attention and encouragement of her heavenly father.

This previously private undisclosed diary of hers has flared up a tiny vortex of debate and discussion, and some atheists use this piece of information claiming that her private thought has proved that religion and spirituality is merely human construct of illusory nature and god do not exist, pure and simple.

That is not so. Over the history, there were saints walking the path of serving humanity all due to the vision that they received earlier in their lives. There are some souls have charted their lives for specific missions to fulfill. Vision or voice of god in dream is one of the many ways of arousing their attention in the midest of their seemingly uneventful daily living. Saint Francis had a dream in which god spoke to him asking him to repair the downtrodden and dilapidated churches in his time. That was the first step that had led him to his life path. There are many ways that we can be awaken to the call and duty of what we are here to do. It is just that some souls have more grander and heavier responsibility than that of the ordinary soul like you and me, at least in this life time.

When everything goes well with us, we don't need god. Life is a wonderful merry-go-round. I have read countless books about how crisis in life disguised itself as an opportunity for us to look at our life from a higher perspective. The vision that Mother Theresa received earlier in her life was a nudge from heaven reminding her to be true to her path. She heeded the vision and the rest is history. During the course, she got several more visions all were revealed when a critical juncture was reached and decision needed to be made at that time. She was so dedicated to her calling, there was no need for god to remind her of what she supposed to do during later part of her life. Her spiritual crisis was not crisis in a practical sense, she just missed and longed for even tiny hint that god approved, confirmed and appreciated what she has done.

It is just human that we all need constant psychological inner nourishment. Once you have a tiny unearthly inner experience like Mother Theresa's vision of calling, the experience is often life changing and life takes a dramatic turn. The soul gets a big boost and there is nothing like it in the whole wide world. As a person heeds that inner calling and walks the path with diligence and dedication, like Mother Theresa did, over time the phenomena become less frequent. The journey of the soul has reached the phase of spiritual maturity. At this stage, the soul is doing its chart and fulfilling its life purpose, therefore there is no need for another (vision) harassment from god. Let me sum up with a mystic's understanding of nature of phenomenal vision.

"As one unfolds spiritually, the inner experiences become less phenomenal. Soul is gradually being led from the phenomenal worlds toward the worlds of true being at the soul plane and beyond", " Yet some feel unhappy when they no longer have the experiences that date back to their spiritual childhood". "It is like a high-school student demanding to become a first grader again because he was happier then. Life always takes us forward if we will go".

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