Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Shadow Self - A Dream Reflection

It has been a long time that I did not remember my dream. My daily routine is getting up 5:00 am, meditate one and half hours, relax about ten to fifteen minutes and start morning preparation going to work.

This morning's routine was not much different except, I relaxed a full thirty minutes. When I woke up, I was able to remember some part of my dream.

"My sister and I met in a restaurant, and she was expecting to meet her long time friend, a Falun Gong member. When she arrived, they exchanged gifts of image of deity, religious figure that I am somewhat familiar with. The figure of deity is made out of either ceramic or hard cardboard. They are to be hung or put on the table for worship. Strange thing was that I was silent throughout dinner. I did not say much and was uncomfortable of my own behavior of having nothing to say. I also sensed my companion's discomfort of my lack of response and little conversation. Before leaving the dinner, I searched for waiter and asked him for a bowl of water; I explained to him that I needed a bowl of water to wash my face. Of course before I get to the water, I was awoke and suddenly realized that I have over slept."

During the last two days, I have just studied the course of "Metaphysical Sciences" about shadow self, the part of selves that we do not like, the part that we feel ashamed of. We usually are not consciously aware of the shadow self, they are dormant and buried deep into of our psyche. I am wondering during the dream I might have experienced a part of my shadow self. I remember that I felt extremely uncomfortable of my strange behavior but also felt that I couldn't do much about it.

The other element of my dream was a bowl of water that I requested from restaurant waiter so that I can clean my face. Perhaps I still put a lot of emphasis on my appearance even though my years of metaphyscial study should indicate that I do not dwell too much on appearance alone. But in the dream I felt that I need to take care of my face so that I will look presentable in any circumstance. Apparently there is a great concern of how I present myself in a subconscious level, and it has a sense of insecurity if I don't keep a tab on it.

I wish I was lucid in that dream. The dream was like many dreams that I had in the past, my logical mind was completely turned off, nothing that happened was out of ordinary. I went along with the odd scenario, oblivious that I was in the illusory state of mind.

Do I know myself?

Later on, I drew a tarot card, it was "Seven of Swords".