Wednesday, January 28, 2004

The Wheel of life and death


For the last three days, my father's condition has gone through roller coaster ride. Thanks to my brother Albert and my sister Ming Tsai, things need to be taken care of were taken care of. They went to hospital with mom almost everyday. They took care of communicating to doctor the condition of my father. I was able to come to work everyday to take care of demanding budget crunch.

Right now, my father's condition is considered stabilized.

I still do my meditation at night for an hour. There is not much internal progress lately. I did a lot of contemplating about life, about death. I tried to tell my mom what I have learned about death and dying. Yes, theoretically, I can be very detached and very logical, yes according to the mystical experience death supposed to be a glorious time when we shed our densed physical body and be free from the material demand of our daily grind. I bet we all have dealt with birth and death countless times. Strange thing is we couldn't remember any of this. We are experiencing perpetual wheel of birth and death and seem never are able to wake up from that.

This reminds me of one episode in TNG, the starship was in a disrupted time continuum, they were actually caught in a loop. They were performing tasks again and again never seem to be aware of their dire situation. But gradually, there were some members had a faint memory of what they had been through. With enough awareness of the situation, they finally found a way out of it.

I believe People on the path of spiritual development are actually gradually gaining awareness of our situation. We are normally won't get too caught up of our daily life. We perform our duties diligently, but not attach too much on result or outcome. We are more relaxed and are able to let go most of the situation with ease and with peace of mind. For me, I am able to see the divinity of every one that I come in contact. When I can see God in everyone and everything, everything seems to flow much more smoothly. That is not to say that I am perfect in every way. I just have better part of my day filled with love, peace and harmony.