Last night, I went to bed after my routine one hour meditation 11:45pm, then around 4:35am I was suddenly awake, so I got up, walked around and read another 20 minutes. I then went to bed 5:00am. When I was alarmed around 6:45am, I felt very tired and had an unsettling dream. Instead of moving into a nicer home as I hoped, I moved into a place like a market place. Many people shared the common washing room, people can get into my home and steal my things. I was anxious and remembered I couldn't get up until after 8:45am, and found out my cell phone was stolen so I can't call my boss. It was not a happy dream. But the dream was much more vivid than others.
This method is supposed to induce lucid dream. The technique is sleep for 6 hours or so and fully wake up for 20 to 30 minutes then get to bed again. Some people claimed that you can easily have lucid dream this way. I did not believe my dream was lucid, because when I woke up I was glad it was a dream. I did not have any control of the content. This dream was clearly indicating my sense of insecurity about something. What is it that I felt insecure about, I don't know.
With over 3 years walking on the path of spiritual development, I would hope I have gained certain degree of control of my mental faculties. But my subconscious mind is still elusive. I can understand the difficulty of getting into and clearing many years of negative programming, cluttered thought forms and unwanted emotional baggage. The most challenging part is that we do not know they are there. But day in and day out, they are influencing, conditioning and limiting our daily living experiences. That is why most of the self help book will not work. In order to un-clutter our deepest storage house , we need to meditate, guided or not. In this sense, Jonathan Parker's Enlightenment Series have helped me a great deal. I am now able to meditate with tape or on my own. This concludes today's journal.
