If someone deserve to go to hell, then that could be me. However, hell is not a place, but a state of mind and environment that we surround ourselves. If nothing that happens is truly random, then I deserve all the hellish experiences that unleashed last several years until now and on going. This is not to condemn myself, but to acknowledge that there is a reason of why something happens to us. Whatever happens to us is not as important as how we react or how we proact to the situation.
A story told by Dr. Jonathan Parker conveyed vivid picture of what is heaven and what is hell.
There was a Samurai visited a Zen Master and asked "Does heaven and hell really exist?"
Zen Master said, "who are you? How dare you ask this question?"
The Samurai said: "I am a Samurai, a warrior"
"A samurai ? !" Zen Master exclaimed. "Why, you have a face of a beggar."
The Samurai was very angry and ready to draw the sword!
The Zen Master said: "So you have a sword. I bet your sword is too dull to cut off my head!"
The Samurai drew the sword!
The Zen Master looked straight into his eyes and said: "That is Hell !"
Understand what Zen Master is trying to teach him, the Samurai humbled, bowed and withdrew his sword.
The Zen Master said: "Now, this is Heaven"
"All you may know of heaven or hell is within your own self" - Edger Cayce