The Power of the Subconscious Mind--from Adrian Cooper

I receive numerous messages every week regarding the question of
the differences and significance in practical terms between
the conscious and subconscious mind.

The first thing we should always know beyond any doubt is that the
entire Universe and everything within the Universe at all levels,
all dimensions and all manifestations is "Mind". Everything,
without exception is a manifestation of the supreme Mind of The
Source, The First Cause, of "God". This Mind is infinite,
conscious, intelligent, Energy, often known simply as "Spirit".

As human beings we are individuations of Spirit, this Infinite Mind
of "God" through which "God" experiences and thereby evolves and
expands. The entire Universe is in a perpetual state of expansion
and evolution. It is important to keep in mind however that
although we are "individuations" of The Source, i.e. individuated
Energy configurations within the Universal Energy field, we are also
still integral aspects of this Energy field and therefore of God;
there is no separatedness in the Universe; everything is one.

In order to understand this better we only need look at quantum
physics which is discussed in considerable detail in Our Ultimate
Reality for this very reason.

Because the Universe is infinite intelligence of which we are all
integral aspects, Quanta of Energy are influenced by the Mind;
thought also being pure Energy. Whenever you look at a "possession"
such as a house, a car, a television set, they are in fact nothing
more or less than an arrangement of Energy, or "Quanta", ultimately
created by thought processes of the Mind. If these objects were to
be inspected very closely, it would be apparent that they are not
solid at all but are rather composed of Quanta of Energy vibrating
and moving at extremely high rates in an out of the object being
observed.

Nothing can exist permanently unless it is observed because it is
Mind that controls and shapes Quanta of Energy, and without that
focus of the Mind the Quanta would once again become a "quantum
potential" for something else. If for example everyone in the world
were to cease observing the world and everything in it, by ceasing
to focus on it's perceived existence, then everything would cease
to exist. There would be no thought Energy to maintain the illusion
of its existence anymore. This is why the Earth and everything it
comprises, as well as the entire three-dimensional Universe is
referred to in some cultures as "maya", and illusion. The Earth and
physical Universe are indeed an illusion and a grand scale, and
will one day be realised as such by all mankind once evolving
beyond the illusion of the physical Universe.

Quantum physics completely confirms this by recognising that
something can only actually come into "existence" when it is
observed. Of course "existence" is a term relative to the five
physical senses; everything that exists now has always existed and
always will exist, it is only the illusion of form that changes in
response to thought, Mind. When something is observed, Quanta come
together to form sub-atomic particles, and in turn atoms, then
molecules until finally something manifests in the physical world
as a localized space-time event that can be observed by the five
physical senses.

This process is the very basis of how each and every person creates
their own reality. Every single thought, as Energy, directly and
instantly influences the quantum field causing Quanta in the form
of Energy to arrange themselves into a localised, observable event,
object or other influence.

So where does the subconcious mind come into this?

Well quite simply in order to create our desired reality we must
focus our thoughts in order to influence the Quanta of the Universe
and bring ourselves into vibrational harmony with our desires. In
doing this the hitherto formless substance around us, the Quanta or
Spirit from which all things are made takes shape in accordance
with our thoughts, and when we come into vibrational harmony with
this formless creation it can then manifest into our physical world
as a physical manifestation where it can be enjoyed.

Where most people "go wrong" is that they have no control over this
creative process. The conscious mind, our everyday, waking mind is
heavily influenced by the demands of the ego, and seeks to filter
and logically analyse everything presented to it through thought or
any of the five senses, only allowing thoughts tp persist that are
consistent with what it considers to be "logical" and in accordance
with the materialistic demands of the ego.

This is why most people are constantly creating unwanted realities;
usually without thinking about it or realising it.

The solution therefore is to bypass the filters of the conscious
mind in order to access the extreme power of the subconscious mind.

There are three fundamental aspects to Mind; the conscious mind, the
subconscious mind and the super-conscious Mind. By impressing our
desires on the subconscious mind the subconscious mind will
interact directly with the super-conscious Mind where our thoughts
and therefore desires take shape, and then brings us into
vibrational harmony with our dsires so they can manifest into
physical, experiential reality.

We cannot experience anything unless we are in vibrational harmony
with that which we are experiencing. Everything we are experiencing
at this moment is a direct result of our thoughts and of being in
vibrational harmony with that thought experience; and this applies
equally to positive, negative or neutral experiences.

Although affirmations can be very powerful, they are often
intercepted by the logical, ego driven conscious mind, analysed and
then rejected as being "impractical". For example; we might repeat
an affirmation such as "I have a new car". The conscious mind
immediately picks-up on this and says something like "don't be
ridiculous, you are still driving that old wreck of a car". And so
it will be that you continue to perpetuate the reality of, and be
in vibrational harmony with the "old wreck of a car".

Our objectives are clear therefore. We must bypass the filters of
the conscious mind in order to "program" the subconcious mind with
our desires. The subconscious mind is sublime; that is to say it
never, ever questions anything. The subconscious mind will
willingly accept anything presented to it, intentionally or
otherwise, and bring it into reality. This is why we must be very
careful indeed about what we impress upon our subconscious mind.

This is particuarly true just before sleep at night and just after
awaking in the morning. At these times we are most closely in
communication with our subconcious mind. This knowledge can be
extremely powerful in that if we use these "windows of opportunity"
to communicate our desires to our subconscious mind, the
subconscious mind will accept them and bring them into our
experiential reality.

However, if we take to bed our worries, concerns and fears then the
subconcious mind, being sublime, will also act upon those thoughts
and bring them even more into reality. So if you go to bed at night
being worried about debts for example, you will attract more even
more debt. It is extremely important therefore to ensure that
before you sleep at night, or any other time for that matter, you
only keep in mind those thoughts that are compatible with your
desires. If this is done consciously it can be a very powerful way
of manifesting your desires.

Volition

A volition is the act or an instance of making a conscious choice; the power or faculty of choosing.
A volition consists of a series of continuous, undiscourageable, unceasing determinations and acts revolving around a desire, until it becomes dynamic enough to produce the much-craved result.

There are times in our life, volition is needed in every turn of our path in order to attain our life-long objective.

I had a hard time falling to sleep last night until about 1:00 am, I set my alarm to wake up 4:45 to meditate. When the alarm sounded, I almost tried to turn it off and went back to sleep. But I am glad that I didn't. I fought back the desire to go back to sleep and followed my schedule to meditate 1 and 1/2 hour. Even though I had to spend at least 10 minutes to clear my thought, I felt triumphant after the meditation.

For the last several days at work, I am happy with the action and attitude that I had towards some personnel in other company. I believe I handled the situation well. In addition to the right attitude, I presented my case very convincingly. Finally the other party had agreed with my finding and my conclusion. The situation is by no means resolved, but that section of the issue is cleared.

Come to think of life, most of people seems to fully immerse in the physical world without any inkling of our truer and grander reality. The result of this kind of attitude is division and conflict.
The notion is forever you or I, yours or mine, win or lose, have or have not, good or bad, the typical polarity of the physical dimension. The ultimate reality is that whatever we experience in life, be it pain or pleasure, all but entertaining and learning opportunity for our higher self. It is only the ego that always gets in the way of judging and labeling the situation as good or bad.

A Mantra - Om Ma Ne Pad Me Hum

Lately there were too many things happening in my outer world making my meditation a very difficult task. I had a sense of desperation in my work situation. I simply could not empty my mind while meditating. As soon as I felt I was ready to clear the thought, a full motion picture will stream through my consciousness. The movie in the mind screen would play back frames after frames of daily encounter, before I knew it, it was completely out of control.

So, two days ago, I set out to revise my meditation routine, I chanted a Mantra to help clear my mind of intruding thought. The Mantra that I use is one of the highest Mantra blessing for humanity according to Tibetan Monk.

I started using it on Friday morning meditation, I was quite successful with it and since this mantra also invoke a cosmic sound of blessing, I felt that my situation in life can only be helped by it. So, I used the Mantra again this morning. When I finished my meditation, my anxiety, sadness and hopelessness that I felt for the past several days was gone, replacing it with a sense of calmness and serenity.

The most incredible thing is I set out to solve problem that I have at work. I have some kind of inspiration and just know what to do to solve it. This afternoon, I went online to my company website, retrieved the needed data for my experiment. After about one and 1/2 hours concentration, I have figured out the problem of the account that I am currently managing. I feel great confidence that I can present the case. Here is the affirmation I have used for the last several days. The affirmation helped me to set a positive mind set in a could be very negative situation.

I relax and cast aside all mental burdens,
allowing God to express through me
His perfect love, peace, and wisdom.

From:

Electrical current

I am using electrical current as an analogy for my meditative experience. It does not happen often, but when it does, it is like a wave of electrical current course through my entire being in just a second. I am wondering, what happens in that instant physiologically?

I now realize when science claims that energy and matter are interchangeable, they are basically one and the same, matter being the lowest vibration and the highest density.

When we meditate, we are piercing into higher level of vibrational reality; and with that, the veil of inner world of ultimate reality is gradually revealed to us.

Autobiography of a Yogi

It is fortuitous that I have the opportunity to read "Autobiography of a Yogi". It is a treasure for people who seek the truth of our ultimate reality without outward guidance of a teacher. My teacher is my living environment, my teacher is my daily interaction with people, my teacher is the book that I have the fortune to read, my teacher is my meditation, and ultimately, my teacher is my Higher Self, the part of me infinitely resourceful and infinitely wise. My Higher Self that sets up circumstances so perfectly for me to learn and grow not just once, but numerous times until I assimilate each lesson into part and parcel of my very being. Yes, the learning opportunity is relentless, and insistent. Yes, the lesson will be presenting itself over and over again until I got it. Some lessons I will learn it in an instant, but some may take me a few hundred years, nevertheless, learn I will. And so will everyone else in this world. Not a soul will be lost!

When I read this book, I am savoring the aroma of wisdom emitting from the pages. I will read a sentence or two and so enchanted with the profound meaning and wisdom that I will put the book down and contemplate it. It is a splendid gem among the spiritual jewels.

Don't lose sight of The Goal

Last three days, while in meditative state, I had an intoxicated feeling first permeating in the forehead and then gradually descending down to the upper body, at the same time I also felt a great sense of relaxation, like layers of layers of tensions and worldly concern melted. In this state of meditation, thought intrusions of any kind have no disurbing effect on the meditation. It is like clouds that floating in the blue sky, once dissolved, left no trace on a clear day.

I remember I had the same meditative feeling two years ago when I meditated in earnest. How time has quickly passed and it would take me two years to pick up the pieces again.

I was like a traveler aimed originally to climb Mount Everest of 29,000 feet, and yet was distracted by the green pastures and beautiful flowers, wondering around the forest and thought that the pastures and flowers weren't too bad after all. The ambition of climbing the steep mountain was forgotten, the 360-degree panorama view from the highest peak seemed impossible to reach.

Lucid dream, astral travel, are like little distractions here and there all the more enticing me to yearn for inner experiences. I have come to realize that they should not be the reason of my meditation. Meditation is a means to have deep communion with our source, to realize our true nature. If meditation leads to other spiritual adventures, then they are treated as extra bonus and not to be focused on exclusively. The goal is to reach the highest level of frequency, vibration, consciousness and awareness. So, press on and persevere!

A flashback

My main spiritual goal for last year was to learn lucid dreaming. I will not say that I failed, but I could say that I was not successful. Actually the last several months I practically giving up trying. The main reason is that I had decided to focus my energy to serious meditation. I can not juggle, within my limited time, with both meditation and lucid dreaming. I have to choose either one of them but definitely not both.

I had some interesting dreams, read some good books, took a trip to Hawaii, rode a helicopter. These were the things that I did, but the most important growth came from within, an inner understanding and constant endurance of personal relationship among family members and my co-workers.

I have known several wonderful people in my professional life outside of my company. I can impart goodwill,fairness and understanding towards others, because they don't stay with us at the end of the day. The most challenging interpersonal activity will always be the people in our inner circle. life is not a race that you win or lose, life is a progressive learning toward the realization of our infinite self.

I shall continue walking the path of liberation!

The Light

I will sit in my car to meditate during lunch hour. I will breathe slowly and deeply the first few moments, send my intent to relax the body and the mind. Gradually, every muscle of my being will be limp and relaxed! The monkey mind though, will always be the last frontier to conquer before I enter into a state of mind expansion.

After a while, my forehead will be shrouded with energy, through my closed eye lids, I sense the sun light permeating my forehead, the light is golden and bright, very much like the clear mid-day Southern California brilliant sunshine. Several times, while conscious and aware in my meditative state, I remember that the day was cloudy and overcast, so I opened my eyes to confirm it and yes, the day was overcast, immediately and at that same time the golden light disappeared.

I had this light experience many times while in the meditative state, whether I conducted in my bedroom or in my car.

I sensed this phenomena but never consider recording them until now because of inspiration coming from the book "Autobiography of a Yogi". I had a sense of joy when I purchased this book in "Barnes & Noble" bookstore a couple of days ago. This book has crossed my path many times, but I always brushed it off as another boastful self-important inspirational book. Perhaps the student was not ready.

Heaven's Grocery Store

As I was walking down life's highway many years ago
I came upon a sign that read ' Heavens Grocery Store '.
When I got a little closer the doors swung open wide
I soon realised that I was standing inside.
I saw a host of angels.
They were standing everywhere, one handed me a basket and said
“My child, shop with care.”
Everything a human needed was in that grocery store
and what you could not carry you could come back for more.

First I got some Patience.
Love was in that same row.
Further down was Understanding, you need that everywhere you go.
I got a box or two of Wisdom and Faith a bag or two.
and Charity of course, I would need some of that too.
I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost it was all over the place.
Then some Strength and Courage to help me run this race.
My basket was getting full but I remembered I needed Grace,
and then I chose Salvation for
Salvation was for free.

I tried to get enough of that to do for you and me.
Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill,
For I thought I had everything to do the Masters will.
As I went up the aisle I saw Prayer and put that in,
For I knew when I stepped outside I would run into sin.
Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last things on the shelf.
Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the angel "Now how much do I owe?"
The angel smiled and said "Just take them everywhere you go."
Again I asked "Really now, How much do I owe?"
"My child" he said, "God paid your bill a long, long time ago."

From - Soul of Life

Theater of life

Year 2005 is coming to a close. In retrospect, I wish I could say that I have made a giant leap in every area of my life. The reality is growth seems to be happening painfully slow and many times it was two steps forward and three steps back.

But in time, I realized all the drama of life is merely a staged play. A pre-script play that we are the directors and actors/actresses coming to the theater of earth playing out of our part as a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a sister, a brother, an employee, a friend, a seeker. We wear many hats while on stage. William Shakespeare said it well "All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts".

If we play the part with awareness and integrity associated with that role then we are graduated from that play. We will then be given a much more elaborate and more interesting role. But the curtain of theater can fold without any warning, when that happen, we leave the stage and go back to where we came from. We can be here for only several hours, or for as long as a hundred years, but in the end, the experiences are tugged away in the consciousness, the physical aspect of who we are, merely an empty shell after all.

Massive paranoia - A Dream

I got up this morning 6:00 am had a very relaxed meditation. I then got back to sleep at 7:30 am.

"I reported an anomaly in our Internet website serving just a warning to our IT department. Soon, IT department started the full scale investigation of possible sabotage. They rounded up all personnel, cubicles were erected, people were interviewed. There were hushed conversation, whispers and subdued volume of voices. There were finger pointing, back stabbing all around. IT department even gave a serious lecture to every department about security issue. A simple observation escalated to the massive paranoia. "

I woke up from the scenario incredulous of what was happening. It is amazing how the group mind once aroused and set in motion, it is like unstoppable avalanche. A little spark can turn into a forest fire, capable of destroying many acres of plantation and many lives.

Dream is an incredible inner experience, no less dramatic than the physical one. The span of time that houses the dream content is also marvelously short compare to the unfolding of physical event. Dream can serve as mini-lesson, if we are lucky enough to learn from it and avoid having to resort to drama of physical manifestation.

The ancient metaphysical teaching uses dream as different level of learning. They suggest the seeker not only pays attention to maintain certain level of awareness throughout the day, but also remember and record our dream content for the wisdom it impart and for future reference. The adept in metaphysics also warn us not to over analyze our dream. Dream is simply another experience just like any others. It could be fun, entertaining and educational.

Armchair Quarterback

It was long time ago that I heard the term "Armchair Quarterback". It struck me there are plenty of 'armchair quarterback' around, not only just about football game, but also about the game of life.

Yes, the armchair quarterback may never set foot on the football field, never have even played a game or two of football. But, they certainly know the rules of the game, they know how the real quarterback should position himself to gain winning advantage during the game, and if the real quarterback would consult them, they may be able to impart a pointer or two.

"Armchair quarterback" is pervasive in family, in society and even in nations. We certainly should teach other nation about democracy by sending the troop in to eradicate the dictatorship and their way of life, because their way of life sucks, and dictatorship is wrong. Our religion is certainly better than other strange sounding, ignorant and superstitious religion. We are more civilized and advanced therefore we are entitled to own nuclear weapons, but not other barbarian countries, because they might misuse the weapon but not us.

The mentality also exists in the fabric of our own family. There are people that have never "walked in your moccasin", or lived one day of your life. But they seem to know all the answers of your problem. They may not know how to handle their own affair but they know all about yours.

Due to the individualization of our experiences, we often can not understand or appreciate other people's effort. We usually do not see what lies behind the scene. The separation of our consciousness make us judgmental about our neighbors or even our own family. I have long abandoned the notion of criticizing, making assumption of others, putting a label of good or bad on others, for I know that I have not lived one day of their life, I am not qualified to judge, or condemn people who are vastly different from me. My duty to this world is to spread the light, uplift the spirit wherever I go with the understanding that in the end, all are gods.

The best effort ?!

All these years, I believe that I have done the best that I can when handling interpersonal situation. I personally went through a rough start in life. My philosophy is that, If I have survived and thrived from the lowly beginning, anyone has a chance. So, I don't normally push too many buttons, thinking that everyone has lessons to learn according to their own pace; nature, time and maturity will take care of the plight that plagued us in growing pain.

I am now suddenly put in the stern realization that a choice need to be made to somewhat steer the course to the better path for others. It is not a matter of my own self development, it is about being a guiding light that can illuminate a better future for others. By integrating the other side of equation of learning is may be what I need to learn in this stage of my development. My best effort of the past might not be the best after all.

Astral Travel, a glimpse of our immortality

Last week, I have not had a single mind travel experience. There were several fussy, fragmented, mundane and inconsequential dreams only.

When life gets tough, it is always helpful to gain proper perspective of what we have gone through. With mind travel experiences, I am reminded of my immortal and eternal nature. It also reminds me that others are also immortal spirits who have made a decision long ago to bravely come down to this earth plane to learn and grow. Whatever I have gone through, I accept total responsibility.

Some people encounters difficulty by means of kicking, cursing, screaming, blaming and resorting to violent measure, but some quietly accept the experience with the divine understanding that they made a decision, may be eons ago, that they are now harvesting the fruits (whether good or bad) of their labor.

My mind travel experience provides me with a sense of detachment of all what is happening around me. Just as many ages of esoteric wisdom taught us, there are no death, we are merely shading our outer garment and transformed into butterfly-like spirit, a spirit that is indestructible and incorruptible. No bullet can pierce it, no knife can slice it, no bomb can shatter it, a spirit of pure energy, we are!

"How do you know this?", you might ask. By way of my mind travel, I flew through a great black wall, I was hit by spear, I passed the mass of concrete with all of my senses intact. For a seeker of wisdom and knowledge of life, the experience might not be necessary, but what comfort it provides that we have first-hand experience of who we really are!

A shadow

Last night I had two cups of coffee before going to bed. I figured that I probably could not fall asleep immediately, so I meditated about an hour. It took me quite sometime to fall back to sleep after that. During the transition, I had the following experience.

Seeing through my mind's eye, a shadow emerged from nowhere, it blended into my being and I floated out of my body immediately without vibration or other usual sensation. During the time I floated out of my window, the flying got faster and higher, I looked down on the changing scenery below and felt that I was not alone. There was something else that was present that blocked my view below while flying. I saw the usual city, mountain and trees quickly zoomed by. After a while the floating sensation stopped and the scene faded!

When I got back to my senses, I could not make out what was happening. I have done the Aura Cleaning before the meditation. I believe my aura was fairly bright, strong and clear. There would not be any intrusion into my energy field and I was certain of that.

It was an interesting experience. What was that shadow? I don't know. It did not do any harm, on the contrary the flying seemed to be invigorating.

A Trial?

A trial meant to test how well that we have learned our lessons and how well we have applied our lessons to our daily living. For the last several months, I feel that I am in a stage of being tested spiritually. Sometimes I am triumphant, I am being my best self, loving and supportive in every way. but other times I fall back to my old doubtful and bitter self. Am I encountering what they called, "dark nights of the soul" that every seeker bounds to meet sooner or later?

For all that I know about why are we here, why some people have to suffer while others live a charmed life (at least it appears that way). I still can not brush off the possibility of my contribution to other people's suffering. I have a feeling that finally karmic debts that have accumulated over past and present lives have caught up with me. In spite of good work that I have done ( at least I think I have done) at work and in other areas of my life, my family situation is dire. Bitterness, blame, illness and depression hung over the air that we breathe, most unhealthy to the spirit.

I hope I know the answer of what should be done! But non existed that I know of! I shall continue walk the path and do the best that I can and let the Divine take care of the rest.

"The Genius Factory" by David Plotz

This is incredible. I accidentally picked up this book from Rowland Heights library. I never heard of sperm bank before. After I read the book, I searched Internet, there are several such banks exist just in California. The whole thing sounds very much like science fiction.

Mr. Plotz took us a wild ride of grand venture about parent's shopping for a genius child, the long tale of one man's crusade toward saving humanity and the complication of seemingly single-minded mission. This is indeed an eye-opening book.

In the end, no one really knows whether a Nobelist's sperm can produce a Nobel Prize winner. We just don't know enough whether or not if we can engineer our next generation with scientific precision. Mr. Plotz told the story with consideration and compassion toward the donors, parents and children. A very interesting read.

No matter how is our upbringing, in the end there is "free will" involved that ultimately determine the path of our life. Yes, there is destiny, but there is also free will. You have a choice. The choice we made today, may not change much of our immediate future, but it will definitely shape our distant future. And yes, we will be back again to resume our study once we are done with this incarnation. Unless, of course, we have reached a state of being that we have graduated from this earth school of ours.

I must be in a dream - cell phone as a dream sign

I checked in a hotel. The next morning, While I was walking on the lobby, I suddenly heard an announcement through intercom, "James will not have... class this morning. The class has been cancelled". Well, I heard James name. I said to myself, I need to call James to let him know.

I searched in my purse and found my cell phone. I quickly used my normal voice command to dial. Well, it did not have any response, so I manually dialed it again, still no dial tone. I then found that cell phone looked strange; there was a Viking Marking on it. It did not look like my phone. When I looked a little closer and the cell phone turned into an old worn black shoe. And all this time I was holding a worn shoe? How strange! I remember I brought a cell phone with me. So, I searched my purse again, now I touched my cell phone. Instantly I felt relieved that I did bring my cell phone.

I took the phone out and it looked more like a camera than a phone. At that instant, I said to myself, "I must be in a dream, I am in a dream". At the same time, I also realized that I will be late to work, I need to get up now. I got up fully awake. It was 10 minutes later than my usual get up time.

"Lightning Strike" from Donald Davis

All the last week, I read a down-to-earth accounting of what truly happened of WW II, Chief-in-Command General Yamamoto incident in the battleground of Pacific Front. A history book read like a novel. Very interesting.

Three women hanging clothes - A dream

Keep going!

I had a good session of meditation. I usually lied down for about 15 minutes afterward. I started a sensation of vibration and off I went floating about in my bedroom. It was dark and I could not see anything. After several rounds, the floating stopped. I was disappointed and I thought to myself, "Is that all"? Then about one minute later, I floated again, this time while the floating almost stopped, I thought to myself "keep going, keep going". To my surprise, I started the floating sensation again. I floated out of the window of my bedroom. The atmosphere was gray and chilly winter scene. Immediately, I saw tree leaves spreading over the concrete floor, brick houses dotted below from my aerial view, three women were working outside their houses hanging clothes. I was so close to the ground, I felt that I was almost able to touch the women. Then gradually the scene faded.....

The place that I have been did not feel like in United States, it almost like in China or something. The fact that women working outside hanging clothes indicated an unusual phenomenon if it was in US. But who care? I can't get verification anyway.

This conscious projection was not any different than others, except I was able to consciously prolonging the vibration and floating process by just saying to myself "keep going". I am still not able to direct my travel destination, but at least my consciousness has played a part in the process. That was significant.

Vacation In Hawaii

Mom, I, my sister MingYea and her husband Jim were on our long-awaited Hawaiian 9-day trip from October 21 to October 29. It was made possible by my sister's effort. She arranged everything from where we are to stay in hotel to airline ticket purchasing. We stayed in the Kona Island four days and another four days in Maui. What was my impression of Hawaii? It is a beautiful place, green and blue all around. The condo we stayed in Kona Island is just absolutely wonderful. There is a golf course in front of our second story porch, and beyond the golf course, there you are, a 180 degree ocean view. The condo is lovely furnished with crafted sea life, turtles, fish dotted the wall. In the early morning, there were all kinds of birds chirping happily. I got up 6:00 am as usual to do my meditation.

I intended to see the live volcano in Kona Island. We drove to the Volcano National park, but due to our Mom's physical condition, we hiked a little bit but did not venture far enough to see the volcano. But on the way, we saw blackened lava mud and lava rocks all over the place. Jokingly, I was proposing a business deal with Volcano National Park to sell lava rocks and lava mud to the civilized population overseas. Later on, through conversation with locals, my sister found out that the legion has it that the Goddess of Hawaiian Volcano, Pele, is safeguarding the lava rocks and Lava mud as if they were her children. Therefore removing lava rocks from this island is doomed to bad luck. Well, that is the end of our proposition.

In Maui, we drove to the summit of Haleakala National Park of 10,023 feet above sea level. The crater on the summit is expansive and awesome looking. I took a picture on the summit, and probably should have left a graffiti behind noting that I have been here on the wall or something, like some travelers that wrote their names on the bathroom door. :) One of the most impressive trips was the one we visited a rain forest in Iao Valley. Just several miles outskirt of small village, there you are, a sanctuary away from civilization.

On second day in Maui, we traversed on northern coast of Maui called Hana. The Hana highway is a narrow winding road along the coastal area, there are 600 turns and a dozen narrow one-lane bridges. The road to Hana isn't far, but the twist and turn make it a slow going highway. We traveled about half way and decided to turn back, and it took about 6 hours for round trip. The rain forest along the highway is beautiful and it is worthwhile experiencing it's unusually frequent tight turns.

I took a helicopter ride in Maui against the opposition that tried talking me out of it. The ride was an air tour exploring the west of Maui where there are beautiful rain forest, 4000 feet high waterfalls and then across expansive Pacific Ocean to Malokai, known for its highest sea cliff in the world. Through this trip I was able to get some verification or confirmation of my inner experiences.

For years, I had astral travel or mind project experiences at night. I never was able to compare my inner experience with real, physical counterpart. Now that I had it. Yes, my inner experience are just as real as my helicopter ride. While I mind travelled, I sometimes felt the sensation of sharp turn when changing the flight direction without my conscious control, I felt the same sensation when I rode on the Helicopter. While mind travelling without a body, I felt the same way as I did in the helicopter ride.

This experience got me thinking, what a crude method of travel with a body! If I train myself long enough and hard enough, I would be able to surf the Himalaya mountain, cruise over the Mount Everest, fly above the galaxy, the star and anywhere I want using only my consciousness with instant vibration! It is not impossible to do! Why a body that need to wait in the long line for custom checking and inspection, a body need to be fed, a body need to sleep in a fancy expensive hotel, a body need to be transported by car, by plane that cost thousands of dollars. Why?

I know it is a strange phenomenon that I have experienced in my inner world. But the truth is, it is not strange at all. Majority of humanity forget about the origin of who we are, our divine origin that is. We are free spirit, pure and simple.

Last night, I had a strange pressurized sensation around my head area while I was ready to sleep, it felt like someone was pulling my hair, and in an instant I was off flying. My night musing is usually short, it lasts about 10 to 15 seconds. Since I am conscious and aware and the places I visit are unusual, all the while making the experience very memorable.

The truth!

From beginning of time, mankind is searching for the truth of our identity. Is it accident or is it by design that we are born into earth plane to pain and pleasure? Is there something call fate or destiny? Do we have free well in the midst of our destiny?

I don't have answer for all of them, but with my understanding, I don't think truth has been conveyed in an enlightened manner. Majority of mankind are sleep walking, spending lots of energy doing the things that have little consequence, while failing the grade by doing the things that are seeming monumental to our temporary existence.

Religion tells us to do good, be good, you reap what you sow, "Do unto others as you want others do unto you?" The problem is no one bothers to tell you why you should do that. Well some people argue, because the law of Karma, you get what you put out. But why?

One of the truth is that we are one and the same. We might have ten thousand, ten million or ten billion faces, those faces are fragments of God, sparks of God. Through us, God experiences. So, it is probably correct to say "We are gods".

A human body is composed of many different organs, every organ has different function, one is not better than other. But by every organ working in concert, our life is sustained. Who is to say that heart is more important than liver? To support life, every part has to do its share, or life is lost. Every cell of our body could be compared to every individual in the planet earth. Every one of us is an expression of God. By living in concert and in harmony with each other, we are fully expressing God in highest level, we are then in good health, enjoying happiness.

Jason, the tiger - A Dream

I got up at 5:00 am, the meditation was not going well, the images, random thoughts came in and out of my conscious mind. I decided to lie down for 15 minutes before the alarm sounding at 6:30 am. After several minutes later, I had this familiar swirling sensation around my head area, then I floated round and round. I found myself in a warehouse, I was walking down aisle between rows and rows of racks that hanged industrial, heavy duty clothes. Not a soul was around. After a while, I felt a little bored of seeing rows of clothes, so I decided to fly up to the ceiling. When I got up there, I also saw racks of khaki Jeans and coats, all made of same heavy duty material...

I lied down the second time... My mom and I went shopping in a department store. The store was not very organized and people work there have very strange behavior. I came up and asked a clerk some question, I got a blank stare back from him.

My mom went to hardware section, she picked up something mechanical, some kind of unusual instrument, the kind of thing that my son will be interested but definitely not my mother. But I went along with the item and curious about the use of this equipment. We were waiting in the check out counter, I suddenly realized that my purse was not with me. I walk back several steps and tried to think and then I immediately got back to the check out line and found the purse was right there on the floor next to the counter. But I did not see mom. She might have paid the item and left.

The day is getting late and dark, I was worried. I went to the parking lot and called her many times, but there was no response anywhere. I then met a girl about 10 year old. I asked her if she was familiar with this area. While we were talking, I saw a mass image of gold and black stripes moving my way. At that time the girl said, "please meet Jason, the tiger." My heart skipped several beats, I was frightened. Somehow I managed to remember projecting love to the tiger. The tiger now running and jumping around us, I kept at the mantra of projecting love. Then suddenly the tiger jumped right in front of me and unexpectedly put its massive head toward my belly. It was just like my bird fluffy, he will lower his head when I touch him so that I can massage him. So, I touched the head and back of tiger, it felt like touching a carpet...

The 5 Daily Devotions -The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - A Book

I am reading a book from Robin Sharma called: "Discover Your Destiny With the Monk Who Sold His Farrari". A book full of wisdom. The challenge for the seeker of truth is to dedicate ourselves to learning the process and staying with it until it becomes second nature. There are seven stages of Self-Awakening. Most of the people on the planet earth are in the stage 1. Let's see what are the seven stages: (I copied to my blogpage for my ongoing reference)

Stage 1 Living a lie (The Stage of Self-Betrayal)

Stage 2 The Choicepoint (The stage of Relasing Control and Breaking Your Chains

Stage 3 Awareness of Wonder and Possibility (Ths stage of Seeing with New Eyes)

Stage 4 Instruction From Masters (The Stage of Learning, Failing and Preparation)

Stage 5 Transformation and Rebirth ( The Stage of Emptying and Refilling)

Stage 6 The Trial ( The Stage of Testing and Conifrmation)

Stage 7 The Great Awakening of SELF ( The Stage of Fearlessness)

These are simple daily ritual that we can practice to reach that enlightening stage.

The 5 Daily Devotions:

• Devote yourself to rising at 5 A.M. each and every morning. Those who get up early are those who get the best from life.
• Devote yourself to setting aside the first sixty minutes of your day as your "Holy Hour." This is your sacred time to do the inner work required to help you become your best. Use this period to read from the wisdom literature, to meditate or pray, to reflect on the state of your life and the progress of your dreams in your journal, or to think deeply about what must unfold over the coming hours of the day in order for you to feel it was a successful one. Performing this ritual daily will help you to shine brightly in the world and live at your highest.
• Devote yourself to displaying a standard of care, compassion, and character well beyond what anyone could ever imagine from you. In doing so, you will be doing your part to aid in the building of a new world.
• Devote yourself to displaying a standard of excellence at work far higher than anyone would ever expect from you. Abundance and fulfillment will flow back to you.
• Devote yourself to being the most loving person you know and thinking, feeling, and acting as though you are one of the greatest people currently on the planet (because you are). Your life will never be the same and you will bless many lives.

Excerpt from "Discover Your Destiny with the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" by Robin Sharma

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of confidence but where he stands at time of challenge and controversy" ----Martin Luther King Jr.

Valet Parking - A Dream

I had trouble doing my meditation this morning, after about 1 and 1/2 hours struggle to still my mind, I gave up and went back to sleep. Then I had the following fragmented dream.

I was working in my office, and using this bulky, ugly, old and dusty computer at my work. I felt a little distressed of working on that computer. When the day was over, we were all line up in the parking lot, waiting for bellboy to pick up our car because our company have valet parking service. I was nervously fumbling into my purse to get my ID and my ticket. I sensed the unusual nature of valet parking, but just like any other dreams, I did not question it's validity. So the valet parking at my company seemed to be normal, but I had a little sense of annoyance of having to wait for my car.

note: As to Calea Z experiment, I took six capsules on Friday night, it was about 3,000 milligram, but I had no lucid dream experience, as a matter of fact, I did not recall any dream at all, let alone lucid! Apparently, Calea Z of dream herb has no effect on me. I guess I will have to learn lucid dreaming on my own.

Calea Z, "Leaf of God"?

Eight months ago when I started to learn Lucid Dreaming, I cam across websites and some books mentioning Calea Z, a dream herb, that is also called "Leaf of God". I managed to get 24 capsules just several days ago.

I tried three nights in a row taking 2 capsules the first two nights and 3 capsules the third night. Guess what? I had no recall of any dreams at all during these three nights. It is like my memory was being wiped out to a clean slate. This herb was supposed to help me to have vivid, lucid dream. My experience was completely opposite of what it supposed to do. I was really disappointed. Well, after the uneventful third night, I decided to give it a rest for three days, and I will pick it up again on Friday and will increase the dosage to 4 capsule.

Some people also mentioned about having a sense of well-being and clarity of consciousness after taking Calea Z, but I simply could not experience anything good or bad.

I don't know this herb that I bought is really Calea Z, but I did open the capsule and tasted a tiny bit of it, and it was very bitter just as some books have described.

Tomorrow, Friday, I will resume taking the "Leaf of God" and see what happens.

The first small taste of lucid experience

I got up 4:55 am, had about 1 1/2 hours meditation to 6:30 am , I then intended just to rest a few minutes. Within the next 15 minutes, I had a dream that I believe I was lucid and was able to control and direct my thought. I woke up feeling odd, happy and could not stop laughing at myself.

I drove to the direction of international airport. I parked my car and for some reason I needed to get something in the car, I looked up and down the parking lot and could not find it. I thought that was strange cause I just parked it a minute ago.

I walked into the busy terminal, crowds were all over the place, people were standing and walking shoulder to shoulder, at that point, I gained some lucidity and purposely touched the luggage, travel bags and thought to myself, "It is so real". I suddenly remember the book that I read about lucid dream and what people do when they are lucid. I decided I want to kiss someone. So, I searched male passengers that is at least ok-looking and find one person standing there as if he was waiting for someone. He had mustache and not bad looking, I approached him and kissed him on the lips, I really did not feel anything particular except the bristle touch of his mustache.

I stood in the terminal a while trying to figure out what I wanted to do next that I was lucid. I thought I like to fly. In the instant that I out-stretched my arms, off I went flying. I flew to the top corner of the terminal, looking down enjoying hustles and bustles of frenzy activities below. Knowing that nothing can hurt me, I purposely flew past the concrete walls of the terminal and landed on the other side. And then I thought to do the 360 degree spin over just to see how it felt, while I was spinning I also started to wake up.

I woke up smiling. Wow, that was the first lucid dream I have experienced.

"The Justice On the Grass" A Book by Dina Temple-Raston

I have read a book, "The Justice On the Grass" recounting the 1994 Rwanda Massacre by Dina Temple-Raston. It is a story of Tribunal's media trial. A must read for people interested in the unfolding and underlying historical causes of genocide in Rwanda.

Millions of people were swayed by decades of hatred and media incitement, Rwanda was a Dante's Inferno. The incident was so profound, even now when anyone mention Rwanda, genocide is the first thought that pop into people's mind. And this happened just a decade ago in the late Twentieth Century, a recent history.

In the book, the author indicated that Nazi's extermination of Jews took about nine years to manifest, a million lives were lost, but Rwanda lost about 800,000 people in a span of only 100 days. The killing were quite efficient. It was like entire nation was hypnotized by the sphere of hatred and completely lost their senses in the mindless killing spree, humanity at it's darkness.

For me who is in the path of wanting to know the truth of the universe, I often ask, "Have these people learned a lesson in their lifetime?" "Are these experiences necessary for the growth of souls?" I don't know the true answer, but from want I have learned and experienced, I know that all pain and suffering are life lessons in disguise, it meant to be a spiritual test; just like the test in which I am now undergoing.

Why are we here? An article from Infinitebeing.com

The Age-Old Questions of Life
“Why are we here?”
“What is the meaning of life?”

According to basic spiritual principles, we are individual expressions of Infinite Being and we are here to experience life. Each person is unique, and our purpose on Earth is to experience life from our own unique perspective. We are the eyes and ears, so to speak, of Infinite Being. You are here to experience your uniqueness, and to experience it as fully as possible. That way, you learn as much as possible from the experience of being who you are in this particular incarnation.

The Paradoxes

It is a paradox that everyone is here for the same reason and yet everyone has an individual purpose. Everyone is here to experience life as deeply as possible, and yet your individual purpose is to explore your unique character. Everyone, therefore, has an unique function within the infinite variety of Creation. Another paradox is the question of destiny versus freewill. People seem to have freewill, and yet, if destiny exists, wouldn’t pre-destiny cancel freewill? Not exactly. Here’s how it works. You planned your overall path through life before you were born. That life plan is your overall destiny, but the details of life leave plenty of room for freewill. You could even use your freewill to change your whole life plan, but then, why would you want to change your own life plan? The fact that your physical brain doesn’t remember your own pre-made plan doesn’t hinder the fact that it continues to unfold as time goes by. Your inner self, your soul, remembers your plan perfectly. One of the functions of your inner self is to give you hunches that you can follow. These hunches, when acted upon, assist you to explore your life’s potential to the fullest effect.

Meditators Have More Fun

Regular meditation keeps you in tune with your inner self and helps to guarantee that you get the most out of life by being in the right places at the right times. Then synchronicity can unfold in the form of meetings and events which support your life’s purpose. At a soul level, you are a member of an extended family of many hundreds of people. All of these people know and love you, so there are always ample opportunities available for incarnation through parents that you already know at a soul level. People usually choose lives where they can surround themselves with members of their extended soul family. People in the same soul family share common themes. They are in tune with your consciousness and therefore interested in the same issues and experiences in life. Before the Veil of Birth When it was time for you to incarnate into this life, you viewed several alternatives, including several possible sets of parents. Your final choice offered you the best opportunity to explore the activities and issues that you have been experiencing.

How much detail goes into planning an entire lifetime?

Destiny exists for the main events in your life – the major choices, events and connections in your life. Important relationships are carefully planned so that they have the best chance of happening. Your parents and your environment are chosen for how they will mold your life in the direction that you wish to explore. In the pre-life planning stage, you actually get to see how everything will turn out as you explore different alternatives and scenarios. Then you make your big choice. You say, “I’ll take Fred and Freda Smith as parents. I’ll be their baby boy, starting in 9 months when I get born. Until then I’ll hang around them in spirit, at least on and off, until it’s time to emerge and become a baby person. Then I’ll grow up in their family, attending that local elementary school. When they move to Phoenix as planned, I’ll go to high school there and meet my old buddy, who’ll be called Freddie, and he’ll be the same age as me. Sylvia’s family will move into town when I’m sixteen, and being her boyfriend will start to shape the direction of the rest of my life. We’ll go to the same college together and explore the idea that she will need me to support her while she goes on to medical school to become a doctor.” And so on, and so on, as the plan unfolds.

Themes, Issues, Adventures

Personal themes are planned for exploration in life, as well as soul family themes. Also, there are cultural themes and global issues, especially in today’s growing global awareness. One theme that society has been developing over the last few decades is the issue of liberation from the imbalance of a patriarchal society. At the same time, an even larger shift has been taking place – the shift from a consciousness of separation to one of integration. Separation of Consciousness has been the theme for thousands of years. We have separated into tribes, then countries and empires. We have separated ourselves by race, sex and religion. We have even separated our own consciousness, focusing it further into the external world and away from the inner light which is the very source of our consciousness.

One of the first differences that will be noticed as the world evolves towards integrated consciousness is that people will care more about their work. Most people today see their work as a means to an end, as a way to pay the bills and maybe get ahead a little. Tomorrow, people will work at what they love and they will care deeply about the quality of service that they provide, because they will care for their customers. Of course, there are people who work just like that today, but they are in the minority. Tomorrow, it will become the new standard, the new work ethic. Loving what you do and doing what you love. Basically, even when you’re knee-deep in issues, remember that the purpose of life is to transform reality and to have fun doing it.

Projecting over Mediterranean towns - A Mind Travel Experience

I was not meditating too well, my mind was not as quite as yesterday morning's session, after about 45 minutes, I got back to sleep and remembered to affirm " I am dreaming....". After a little while, the vibration started and off I went floating up and out of my bedroom window. I floated in an expansive space, and saw a city dotted with red and white buildings.

I was conscious and aware and remember myself silently affirming that I like to go to Himalaya mountain. But my intention did not translate into changing my travel direction. I was still floating and observing the scenery down below. Gradually I descended down and landed on the street next to a small booth selling animal toys. While I was landing I saw two toy tigers locking head to head fighting with each other and when I landed next to it, I said to them "stop fighting" as if they are real. As soon as I landed, I was back to my physical senses and the scenery faded.

When I was back to my senses, I immediately labeled the city that I was traveling as Mediterranean cities. Well, the strange thing is I have never been in Mediterranean Sea or cities. In my conscious awareness, I do not know how they look like, but I was certain that was the city in that mind projection.

I like to point out that my experience is more like mind projection than astral travel. when most people astral project, they have the conscious awareness of their body, some people can see and feel their hands, feet and other part of body, and they often turn around on top of the ceiling and are able to look at their physical body lying on bed.

For me, I never feel any connection with a body, I never see or even desire to see myself. The way of my out-of-body experience feels more like energy, mind or spirit that was traveling. My awareness at mind project feels exactly the same as when I am physically aligned.

With many mind project experiences, I have long realized that the essence of me is not the eyes, face, hands or figure that I am presenting to the world. These are but the temporary shelter for my soul, the essence of me lies in my consciousness, my awareness.

Like many of my mind projects, I do not have control of where I am going. I just go with the flow. And even if I stated in my mind where I like to go, it does not change anything, so basically I am not in charge of my mind project.

What if I can be in full control of my flight plan? Then the world, my backyard, and the universe, my playground.

In a thousand years or in an instant

A week has passed. During the week, I am following my routine. I am reading a book called: "The Mind Accelerator". Not very surprisingly the first phase is about mind conditioning and identity restructuring. I am familiar with using affirmation in alpha and Theta brainwave state to reprogram our mind for optimal performance. After so many years engaging in self improvement program , I believe there is a common thread on all the self help program. The common denominator is meditation.

Before meditation can be effective, one must undergo a good program to understand how life works, what is the force behind all the seeming accidents, illnesses, violence, tragedies, traumas as well as happiness, fulfillment, peace and joy. In this sense, I am grateful for Jonathan Parker's Enlightenment Series and The Pathway for Mastership program. They lay the foundation and instill in my consciousness the growing seeds of knowledge and wisdom. With the seeds planted solidly underground, the meditation serve as water, sunlight and fertilizer.

With last several years self training, I am able to maintain conscious awareness in that state for one and half hours, the maximum for me is two hours. The quality of meditation is just as important as the quantity of meditation. I admit, there was always an uphill battle for stilling one's mind. With the hustles and bustles of modern society, the stillness of the mind is a much more difficult task to do than the ancient time when life was much simpler.

Meditation is a slow but sure way to enlightenment. Each session of meditation pierces a layer of illusions of what we call life. Gradually and eventually, our true self shines all around, we are one with the infinite universal mind. Yes, it might take a thousand years, or it may happen in a instant.

Mind project into industrial compound

After one and half hour's meditation, I layed down and relax, within may be several minutes, the familiar sensation of vibration forcefully eject my consciousness up into the air, this time the energy seemed to be stronger than usual, I was not just float, I was gripped in a powerful energy field that snapped me out of my body into the direction of my bedroom ceiling.

Before I hit the ceiling, I halted abruptly before it, and I saw images I can only describe that it is like a sponge magnified in 10,000 times or so. There are huge space between the elements of ceiling material, the ceiling is essentially not as solid looking as it usually look. My consciousness then suddenly back off from celing and then speed up to approach it several times.

I got brave the last time, I stretch out my hand to touch the ceiling, but I felt nothing, as if it is just an empty and hollow space. I then journey out of ceiling and into outdoor. I flew through the space and then I was landed in the area looked like industrial compound. I saw concrete boulders all over. Just when I thought, "what am I going to do in this place", I came back to my senses.

When I got back to my senses, I was contemplating the images that I saw of my bedroom ceiling. According to quantum physics, matter is energy, they are not just exchangeable, they are one and the same.

Last time that I mind projected, I saw the granite texture of my ceiling, this time of projection, I believe my consciousness has become more refined and aware, I saw the texture of ceiling as hollow like quantum physics's atom. Expansive space between the material. My astral hand is an energy field that can pass through the wall.

In the realm of astral is as in the realm of spirit, I am a spirit, a forceful energy field, that can fly through the wall and penetrate any solid material.

Carl Jung -Dreams, Memories, Reflections

I finally read Carl Jung's autobiography, "Memories, dreams and reflections". For years, Carl Jung's name and his works flashes in my mental screen many many times. Books of psychology, metaphysics and mythology all have Carl Jung's trademark in it, but I lacked the courage to read it because I thought it will be difficult for me to understand. It turned out that his biography is not theoretical, but full of his many interesting inner experiences. A very interesting and inspiring read. I personally can relate some of his dreams and mind project experiences

He was a giant in psychology for the early Twenties Century. It is absolutely a must read for people who are interested in psychology and mythology.

A live band, playing and singing of "The way we were" - Astral travel music

After one-hour meditation this morning, I went back to sleep affirming, and reaffirming, " I am lucid in my dream". About 15 to 20 minutes later, I heard live, full-band Jazz music playing as if I was there in the studio, I was enjoying it. When the Jazz is over, the band started playing the song "The way we were", there was loud applause from the audience when the singing just started. It was chorus, several singers taking turns to sing, it was beautiful and I was so moved that I was almost in tear in the middle of the singing. Gradually the song faded and I was back to my senses.

It was a very interesting experience, for the whole time I did not have any visual impression, I heard the band playing, the singer singing but I can't see them. It is possible that I was so absorbed with the music that I could not care less for seeing anything.

This is not a strange experience for me. Several times in the past, when I was mind projecting, I will hear music while I was floating in the air.

From this experience and many similar experiences that I have, I suspect the phenomenan has something to do with range of perception of a meditator. Now, we need to ask, what is reality? Are there any other reality except the waking reality? I can use analogy of radio tuning. There is whole range of radio stations that we can tune ourself in and listen to many different kinds of program, the waking reality is one station that our conscious mind can tune in. There are many levels of consciousness embodied in our mind. With training and practice, meditation broaden the range of perception and enables the mind to tune into other stations. In the sense, there is nothing mysterious about it.

When we quiet the mind, enter into a state of expanded awareness, we are always pleasantly surprized by the experience that we encounter. When I went back to sleep, I was expecting some kind of dream scenario, never have I expected a live band playing so beautifully, a very pleasant surprise indeed.

A common theme of my dreams

This observation might not be significant, but it is worthy of exploring due to the frequency of my dream theme. This morning I had an ambiguous dream, in the dream amid of all the happenings, I remember a scene that I checked my purse and found out there is nothing in my purse, my wallet isn't there, is gone. I did not feel any emotional worry or concern, but since missing purse is such a frequent scene in my dream, I like to know what can be made of this?

The interpretation might be, I am unconsciously worry about my finance, or I am longing for achieving financial success. C Jung said that dreams are, after all, compensations for the conscious attitude. Since I do not deliberately think about my finance or my success during waking hours, the worry and concern show up on my dreamscape, because I suspect it is dormant and alive in my subconscious awareness.

The realm of unconscious is fascinating. They are there, 24-hours, dormant, quitely influencing our daily life from decision that we made, attitude, likes, dislikes, habitual behaviors to our personality due to our unique personal experiences throughout thousands of incarnations.

"Men, know yourself and you will know the gods and the universe"

I am pleased with my meditative practice. Every morning, like a clockwork, I will wake up between 4:30 and 5:00, and get a good one hour meditation. The quality of meditation is not entirely consistent, but my mental stamina seems to get better.

Meditation is a method of mental house-cleaning. I treasure every opportunity to meditate. I have set up a routine, one in the morning and another in the lunch hour. I feel a sense of clarity and energy after each session.

Meditation is loving oneself enough to deliberately taking time to relax the body and clear the mind, it is self caring. There is a temple of God within oneself. Only when one still one's mind, the magic presence can reveal itself.

"Man, know yourself, and you will know the Gods and the Universe"

The benefits of Lucid dreaming

Understanding the benefits of lucid dreaming, extracted from "The Sun and the Shadow" serve as an inspiration for my continuing cultivation of lucid dream. I don't have even a single lucid dream for the last six-month period when I started this project. Hopefully by understanding the benefits will propel me continuing my experiment.

Lucid dream provides a person with an experiential base for seeing all of the cosmos as "lucid", that is, ultimately composed of energy and light, rather than dense, physical matter.

Lucid dreaming provides a person with a basis for cultivation an "energy consciousness" in his own mind.

Through lucid dreaming a person can advance toward the further cultivation of intuition.

Through lucid dreaming, a person can transfer the quality of mental lucidity into waking state.

Through lucid dreaming, a person can learn to sense more quickly and clearly any negaive forces that may be approaching and can learn how to get out of harm's way more quickly.

Through lucid dreaming a person will often feel great surges of positive energy upon returning to the waking state.

Through repeated experiences of lucid dreaming, a person is increasingly motivated to develop a "transformational consciousness"

In the lucid dreaming state a person can see clearly the direct relationship between his own thoughts and his manifestable reality.

Lucid dreaming can provide people with a natural experience of ecstasy.

Evil for evil, eye for an eye! - Dreams

****
I am in Western cowboy setting. I am lying in a bed of a room, next to the room is a cowboy gathering place. There are two cowboys arguing. I hear very noisy yelling of each other and then explosive sound of gunfire. Then comes children crying and screaming. All this time, I am staying right where I am, as if whatever happens do not concern me.

****
Then the scene changed, I am now at home. I have several guests, we all looking out of my backyard and appreciating many beautiful flower pots that we planted. I open the screen door, and I am surprised to see menacing, dark and heavy stormy weather outside. I don't know why, my heart sink and I feel a sense of uneasiness with this climate. I quickly closed the door.

****
I then find myself lying down on the floor of grand train station. I see many people passing by me and do not notice that I am lying on the floor. That is a strange feeling, they seem to not care that I am on the floor.

****
I am taking a bus tour to Chinese Temple with a woman that I don't quite know. I don't remember the detail of the tour, but remember the lady told me she want to try one of the herbal remedies offered in Temple. According to her, using the herb can make you invinsible, healthy and young looking forever. I ask her name and phone number so that I can call her later to see if the herb work. She hand me a piece of paper with many writing on it. I asked, which is your name, she said "Lanker", a Chinese biblical name..


These were dreams of absolute nonsense, at least feel like it. Although I can't say for sure. The I who appeared in the first and third episode clearly demonstrated the relationship of cause and effect. I was indifferent on what was happening in the gathering place, and I was treated indifferently while I was lying on the floor of train station when I was homeless! Evil for evil, eye for an eye. It is instant karma! Then the last espidoe of Chinese biblical name? I don't know how my subconscious got that idea!

Mind Project out to Beach

I woke up 5:00 am and worked on my one-hour meditation. Follow Kenneth's example, I finished my meditation by 6:00 am. I then fell back to sleep and all the while, suggesting I will have a vivid lucid dream.

Well, after a short while, I felt vibration in my body, slowly I floated up to the ceiling of my room. I can clearly see the granite texture and movement of ceiling when I passed through it, the images is sharp and clear. As I ascended, and floated back and forth, I was also gaining speed for the final push out of the room and onto an expansive beach. While I was levitating in higher altitude, I see bright blue beach umbrellas dotted on that sandy beach. While I was gazing down the scene, the images started to fade. I looked at the alarm clock, it was 6:30 am, only half an hour passed when I got back to sleep.

I was aiming for lucid dream but experienced astral project instead. Nonethless, I am happy with the result. One thing stand out on this projection is the clarity of the images. I have floated in my bedroom many times, but never have I noticed the texture and movement of ceiling when I passed through it. I also noticed distinctly the gaining of speed and the bright blue color.

Hope for lucid dreaming rekindled!

I still don't have any luck in lucid dreaming. Last weekend, I borrowed a book from Library, The Sun and the Shadow, when I got the book, I just mentally brushed off as another lucid dreaming book like others. All the books that I read, either author was extremely talented and lucid dreaming came naturally for them or author presented the techniques that I followed to the dot, and I still don't get it after many months trying.

A meditator himself, Kenneth Kelzer suggested using meditation as a springboard for lucid dreaming. He will have one hour early morning meditation, followed by giving himself suggestion that he would have a lucid dreaming upon returning to sleep. He was successful for about once every two weeks. That is a great idea. I myself also do early morning meditation about 4 or 5 times a week. After I read a couple of chapters, I have tremendous hope for the possibility of lucidity in my dream.

"Expect nothing, be ready for anything", that is the attitude.

Sculpting workshop! A Dream

Sculpting workshop!

This morning, I woke up 5:30am to practice my one hour meditation. I finished meditation at 6:30am, and intended to lie down for just 5 to 10 minutes.

Within that 10 minutes, I dreamed of attending a sculpting workshop. There were many people attending the workshop, we were all assigned a boarding room. When finished the workshop, I strolled down the various room to look at other people's work (but I have no impression of what they were) . While leisurely walking, I suddenly realized that I did not have my purse with me, I thought of going back to my room where I stayed overnight, but I forgot how to get there.

So, I walked and thought of what to do next. Then I stumbled into a huge auditorium and saw many people working on their sculpture. I suddenly noticed that all the way to the top of the ceiling, there was my purse, billboard sized, had James picture and my credit cards layout just like when I open my purse. So, I walked in and felt elated. As I walked closer, the image disappeared. That was not my purse after all.

The scene then changed. I was lying on a baby crib, there were wooden bars on all sides. I distinctly heard two women talking next to my bed, I struggled to hold on the wooden bar and tried to get up to see who's talking, but I can't, I was in a state of paralysis. Although I heard the talking loudly, and able to distinguish two women's voice, but I can't comprehend what they were talking, it might as well that they were talking Hebrew. While I struggled to get up, I woke up, there was only 10 minutes passed since I lied down after my meditation.

Now, what would happen if I was lucid when I saw my billboard sized purse in the auditorium. I would probably say to myself, how absurd, how can my purse be so big? I must be dreaming. well, if my conscious mind kicked in at that moment, I might tell myself, "don't worry, it's only a dream, my purse is safely right next to my bed. Since I am in a dream, let's see what others do." I will stroll down the auditorium at ease, enjoy and appreciate other people's sculpting. Lucid dream can change an anxious situation to a blissful enjoyment of ordinary thing.

Meditation, a lifetime pursuit!

Meditation, means to a lifetime pursuit!

I have now established a good meditation practice. I will go to bed as usual and instinctly I will wake up around 5:30 am and do a one-hour meditaiton before my daily routine. This morning, I have 1 and 1/2 hour meditation from 5:30 am to 7:00 am due to the flexible hour on weekend. During lunch hour I will practice another 45-minute.

The quietness of mind is an on and off thing. Depending on the complexity and incidents of my daily life, the images of the day just float in and out of my consciousness spontaneously. I can't say I have absolute control of my thought, as that will take many year's practice to reach it. But even in the ancient time when life is simpler and there weren't many technological distractions, it will still take a lifetime to reach mastership.

I realize that every session of meditation is like a rung of ladder to higher level of consciousness. This morning, at the end of meditation, I experienced a funny scenarios that I chuckled when I came back to my senses.

"...There is a house, I open a patch of wall and said, Dad, here is your walk in area, and drill another smaller wall and said, Mom, here is yours, but myself, I just walk confidently in a grand door to the house...."

What was that about? I was not talking particularly to anyone, but I saw myself a lively, cute and energetic young woman with white t-shirt and blue skirt ( very much unlike my usual self).

Tumbling down the stairs

Around noon time yesterday, I got into the routine of doing my running fast downstairs and excited about the meditation that followed after my brief 15 minute lunch.

I was thinking about something and did not pay much attention while I flew down, and in a split second I found myself tumbling, and rolling downhill unable to stop on the 12 steps of concrete stairs. I finally stopped at the third base and heard the water bottle that I held in my hand precipitated down yet another flight of stairs below to the last base. I was shocked when it was over. It took me more than several minutes to get back up, I felt hurt on my knee, and I rolled up the pant and immediately saw several good size scrapes on my knee.

What happened? I can't remember how did it start? I missed the step? All that I remember was that while I rolled down the stairs, I thought to myself, wow! you weren't walking down, you were tumbling down. The sensation was quite unique, profound and shocking.

I was lucky that I did not break some bones in the process. I was able to walk and go back to my office and report to safety committee. I was grateful that my company sent me immediately (safety officer even ask me whether I need an ambulance or not) to St. Jude hospital several miles down the 57 freeway. I was taken good care of, the X-ray was taken on both of my knee, the scrapped knee was cleaned and bandaged, blood pressure measured, temperature normal, got a tetanus shot and I was released after an hour's ordeal.

The beautiful part is that I excused myself from work today and tomorrow. I am happy that I got a chance reading a book "South of the Clouds", interesting stories about China from the view point of foreign journalist, a perfect escape of drudgery and tedious office work.

I have learned a lesson, never run down the stairs, walk instead. But I will continue walk up the stairs as part of my exercise.

I like to think I can learn any lesson in any situation without any hard feeling, pointless regret or any kind of bitterness. I have come to understand that any incident that happens to us has a cause that may be hidden from view at the time , nonetheless, it is there. I am very grateful that I have only minor bruises and aftermath soreness, nothing serious. I do not even mention this incident to my mother cause I believe once I have learned the lesson then I just let go. There is no need to recounting the incident to anyone except I have mentioned to James, and James kept telling me I was lucky coming out of it without serious injury. I feel the same way indeed.

A journey of inner plane!

A week has passed, I have no dream experience. For some unknown reason, I seem to not remembering anything at all upon waking. In this past week, I also got back to my meditation routine in earnest. I will take my quick 15 minute lunch and settle for 45 to 50 minutes meditation. I felt refreshed and clear minded after that. I especially like the morning meditation. It is like clockwork, I will wake up between 4:35 to 5:35 am and settle for 1-2 hours meditation.

I have since finished reading "shadow Divers" and gone on the book "One Giant Leap" about the only astronaut that I can remember the name, Neil Armstrong. As I have shifted the selection of my reading from theory to experience, I increasingly enjoy especially the real life experience as opposed to novel. I have not come across a novel that can rival the detailed accounts of human inspirational spirit in overcoming obstacles and uplifting the mind and soul of the readers.

Life is a journey, but my journey is more focused on inner exploration as opposed to outer discovery. I have not one day forget reminding myself the possibilities of reaching the highest level of frequency, vibration, consciousness and awareness afford a man in this lifetime. If I desire enough, if I work hard enough, if I impress my subconscious enough, all these inner discovery and adventure are waiting to unfold. As a man think, so is he.

OBE with chorus and children giggling!

I drove to visit someone. By the time I got midway, it was dark. I did not get to where I intended to go. Then, I found that my car was trapped in between two big trucks. I was not sure what to do. Then, there was a gentleman led me to his house. I am not sure why, but I waited in a room that had an altar. While I waited there, I saw a metal scrupture image of a man in the altar. Then the gentleman that led me to his house came in the room and woked up the metal sculpture. I was shocked and embarrassed of knowing he was a real person. I kept thinking, was I behaving appropriately while I was watching that sculpture? He seemed to have magical power.

Shortly afterwards, I floated up and down around my room, then headed across the window, while I was floating, I heard pleasing music and children's giggling sound. I felt that I was not the one that in charge of my flight. Several times, I felt a sharp turn and I immediately changed the direction of my float, almost like a roller coaster ride. I sensed there was an invisible force sending me on this journey. All the while, the singing and children's giggling continued. I woke up feeling very happy indeed.

Electricity, what is it?

Not much progress made on lucid dreaming project. In fact, I have not remembered my dreams for more than 3 weeks.

During the time, I have continued to work on my connection with univese, finished reading the "shadow Diver" and gone on reading "Electric Universe" as of now. As I have indicated in previous post, my book selection start to shift from theory to practical application of any known universal laws. Under previous inclination, I will not be interested in reading physics related material, but I found "Electric Universe" fascinating. As scientists gradually discovered many different aspects and properties of electricity, the application is infinitely expanding. We are taking granted the convenience of electricity in our modern society, that we seldom think about it at all. But looking back, we realized that many scientific breakthrough was the result of many decades (or even centuries) and many scientists relentless pursuit of their vision.

Now we live in a society that electricity infiltrate in every aspect of our life. We can't live without it anymore. Just a short two hundread years ago, we did not even know its existence.

Back to the square one

I have a feeling, I need to get back to square one again with my lucid-dreaming training. My recall ability is getting further behind. I have practically no memory of any dreams lately. That wasn't the case two to three weeks ago. Things are not happening. I went to bed every night with great anticipation, but got up in the morning with zero inspiration. I need to fire up my enthusiasm and instill a beginner's mind.

Think about when I started the lucid dreaming training, I was all excited and full of hope, but now the fire of enthusiasm is nearly extinguished. That is not good. "Lucid Dreaming in seven days", that seven day now stretches to months. How do I project my conscious awareness in my dreams? how? how? I wish I have the answer.

U-Boat!

It is a Saturday, I can spend whole day reading a fascinating book about discovery of WWII German U-boat, called: shadow divers from Robert Kurson. I got this non-fiction in Rowland Height library quite accidently. I was running short of my reading material. I started uninterested in theories, principles. I have read many inspirational books for last four years. Now I want different kind of reading material, I want to read the experience of life inself. The book took me to the heart of human spirit that have stretched my imagination.

With the story unfolded, the destiny have paved the way for two men obsessed to discover the identity of shipwreck 50 miles off the New Jersey coast. I am half way through the book, my spirit is uplifted with every page turn. I shall know the identity of the U-boat that lied in the bottom of the Atlantic ocean in a few days.

In the meantime, my voyage for lucid dreaming seems to go no where. For a week, I don't have significant impression of my dreams, I have hit a void in my dream world. There must be a way to project my conscious awareness into my dream word, yet I have no idea how to do that. I still carry with me the vibrational alarm every day, every hour to remind me doing reality check. I fill my thought of fantasizing lucid dreaming often, and yet when I was dreaming, none of what I have done matters. Dream world is still off-limit to my conscious awareness.

A fantastic astral flight

"I feel that my head is being squeezed, there is a tremendous pressure around it, it is unbearable and scary, I yell " I am God, I am God" several times, then seconds later, I am floating out of my house into the darkness. I float down to a grassy area, I can actually feel the texture of moisturized grass. It is so real, I am conscious and aware.

I say to myself, I should be able to fly. So, I get up and jump several steps and there I go. I fly higher and higher, I feel that I am flying toward Los Angeles area. I am having a good time. I encounter some people, have conversations , actually in complete conscious awareness. I bump into ceiling of a large building just to see if I can pass through it since I am aware that I am only invisible energy, an astral body....."

When I came back to my senses, I felt that my memory did not do justice of my experience. I have experienced a lot more but I can only remember a small portion of it. A lot of details were not remembered. This astral projection last the longest that I have ever recalled, and this is also my first astral experience that it was not just happened spontaneously. I was actually conscious and aware after several seconds initial out of body and was able to direct my movement and had intention to experiment while I was in it. The state of emotion was elation, a sense of awe and excitement. WOW! It was fantastic!

Spiritual Blackout

I feel like I have experienced a complete blackout of conscious awareness of my dream. Last seven days or so, I don't remember a thing of my dream. Despite my diligent work on reality checking every hour during the day, my dream time is still off-limit to my waking conscious mind. How can this be? Isn't the saying "We are what we think" still a true statement?

I admit that my life situation on last week did have some effect of my ability to recall. I slept late, sometimes very late. On average, I probably have only 5 to 6 hours sleep. My body may just need that little time to restore and recharge, and no spare moment for elaborate dream exploration. In any case, I am still on course toward my goal of lucid dreaming.

Lucid dream is dream of being conscious and aware. I imagined many times what would I do if I am conscious and aware? I will fly over the mountains of Tibet, stand on the summit of Mount Everest, walk on the moon, visit Rome, cruise to Hawaii, witness glacier of Alaska and many other thousands of places. What about the possibility of BEING my Higher Self, talking to GOD, visiting other dimensions and other worlds. The last but not the least is to know the truth of our existence, gain wisdom and knowledge of our world and the universes. There are so much to learn and to grow into, I am hardly able to contain my excitement whenever I thought of these mind and spirit adventures. It is like entire universe is on your backyard.

Are these spiritual experiences attainable? I believe it is. It will take time, effort and persistence. Yes, it may take a very long time and a lot of patience.

Walk the dog - A Dream

I had a field day walked the dog. I and my dog were out walking in many places. In the dream, I talked to my dog as if it was a person. I advised the dog to take the cane while walking, so that when it sees something that it does not like, like a nasty dog, it can just sweep the walking cane, scare the dog away and it will be safe. I even demonstrated by swinging my cane several occasions so that our path were clear.

Then we came to a place where we saw the second son in the show of "Melcolm in the middle" hanged himself in a upside down position. I used my cane to hit him in the face, then he suddenly jerked up from a comatose state...then I woke up.

This was an interesting dream. Never had I ever walked the dog in my whole waking life. First, I don't have a dog. Second, I am scared of dog, I have dog phobia. If I walk on the street and I see a cute small dog walking toward me, I will get fearful and nervous and will try to avoid it as far away as possible. To be walking side by side with a big dog naturally like in my dream was unthinkable in my waking life. Well, may be my dream is trying to tell me, nothing is impossible. I could overcome phobia, transcend fear and some day accomplish something that is unthinkable at a time.

A friendly neighbor - A Dream

"A friendly neighbor"

There were several dream scenes mingled together, I could not tell which one happended first.

One time I was playing with my sister's baby, the baby was cute but it was crying. The other time, I was having a good time talking to my neighbor, I had a handsome neighbor, we were close friends. He had this flashing, pleasant smile, we were having fun visiting each other. In the dream, whenever I want to talk to him, I just knock his door, and he is always pleasant and full of smile ..... A quite pleasant dream indeed!

Then I have this fragmented, vague dream memory about 3 types of brain wave patterns....I lost most of the content when I woke up early this morning.

Can conscious frontal lobes facilitate lucid dreaming?

There were several disappointing nights as far as lucid dream training went! But there were gains in other areas. I finished reading a novel from John Grisham, the Broker, an interesting story. I got a package for "Hypnotherapy course - module one". I have used the program for several nights trying to program my mind for lucid dreaming. It has not bear any result yet, but I will continue my learning and exploring.

During the day, I continue using the vibrating alarm to help me randomly asking my self "Am I dreaming or am I awake?", then reality checking by looking at some text, turn way and look again. Of Course, I always find myself completely awake and aware in physical reality. My biggest question is, " How can I maintain conscious awareness while I am dreaming?" It is quite an impossible task, at least to me. While I am dreaming, I am in a totally different dimension, and my conscious mind is not able to penetrate it, because it does not belong.

Now, I read a theory about the likelihood of non-sleeping "frontal lobe" for lucid dreamer. How can I manage to have my frontal lobe not to sleep during my dream time?

What a mess - A Dream

Just before my son knocking my door asking for an "Ambien" sleeping pill, I was having a full-blown dream of having taken four college courses but don't quite remember what classes that I am taking. This is about mid quarter, but I have not attended the class and worse still I am not preparing for the tests that are coming soon. I was confused and nervous. The time was about 1:30am. His knocking abruptly ended the confusion. Glad to be back on waking reality.

My bedroom pergo floor is ruined. There is a dish washing sink just next to my bed, I am doing dishes and water is dripping all over the floor. I even see soy sauce spilling all over the other side of the sink and it smells. The once beautiful wooden floor looks like a mess....

If dreams are reflection of my mind, I must have a chaotic reservoir of subconscious memories that were firing up rapidly last night! What triggered the surfacing of subconscious memory, I asked? Well, it could be anything or nothing. Mind indeed is mysterious!

Magical gadgets - A Dream

Early morning, I remembered a vague dream, but when I fully woke up, I can only remember a sentence, " The bloodline is pure", whatever that means!

Then I fell back to sleep again, I dreamed a group of us taking a trip onto the woods, and deep in the jungle, but we all had miraculous gadgets helping us out on the expedition. For me, I had a pair of magical shoes that I glided along the trail, making my hiking effortless. James had a giant sleeping blanket that kept him warm and somehow also helped his jouney. My sister in San Diego was a director of this trip. After the trip, we settled in a villa in the woods. I remembered we were looking at some sentences, every sentence represented an accomplishment. We checked each sentence and fully satisfied that we indeed accomplished what we set out to do.

Even though the dream seemed to be quite satisfying, but I woke up exhausted, tired, disoriented, my brain was unclear and I was spacing out. It took me sometime to re-orient myself to the waking reality.

Do I know you?

This morning I woke up with the most absurd dream that I have ever had. I could not even articulate what was dreamed in this journal. I am absolutely appalled of the dream content. Do I know myself? If you ask average person, "do you know yourself?" Well, we know pretty much of our look, height, weight , personality, likes and dislikes and so and so... But Do we really know ourselves? I would not be so sure if we think back of our mysterious dreams. We see the tip of the iceberg, the 1-10% of us, but what we don't see accounts for 90-99% of the entire iceberg going down miles underwater.

I believe the hypnotherapy and dream exploration are the tools that would be helpful to understand ourselves. After all, we are not just composed of this body and this mind, we are the product of many thousands if not millions years of evolution. We are a mystery upon ourselves.

"Men, know yourself and you will know the universe and the gods"

Barbecue chicken - A Dream

"We have a picnic at my work. We went to an underground cave to retrieve a chicken that we stored there earlier. We were debating if the underground cave was a good place to keep chicken fresh. After sometime, we established that due to the low temperature setting at night, the underground is perfect to keep chicken fresh.

We then contemplate how to cook the chicken. I suggested to wash it clean, tenderize it, chop it or ground it so that we can make chicken steaks and barbecue them. Well, everyone seems to agree with that!

The scene then changed to a lecture hall, I attended the lecture but had no recall what was being said...."

Our dreams are sometimes hilarious, the stone age and the modern era are all mixed up. The people that I dream are real but setting and logic are quite off on this dream. Well, who will be putting chicken in underground cave for freeze? None of us in my dream have heard about something called refrigerator?

Imagine how this dream would be different if I am lucid, conscious and immediately I will realize that it is ridiculous to freeze chicken in a cave. I might have a good laugh of myself and my coworkers by being so stupid. And yet, I and my coworkers had no questions about what have been presented to us in my dream. We take everything in face value in our dream, or may be I should say "I" take everything in face value in my dream. After all, dreams are the construct of my own mind. To shackle the illusions of dreams take lucidity of our conscious mind. Well, I got a lot to work on!

A shapeshifter? A vampire? - Dreams

A shape shifter? A vampire?

I dreamed a couple, the husband is a vampire. Is the couple related to me? I don't know. After he bite his wife, then he transformed into a werewolf. I saw the wound is huge and out of the side of the wound suddenly a grasshopper ( or some kind of large insect) jumped out of it. The werewolf dressed and behaved like a man. I saw him tossing around the content of a big coffin- like box, looking for something?

I was a onlooker of this whole thing. I was not afraid, it was almost like I was watching a movie.

How did I dream things like that is a mystery. Most of my dreams are practical, and very much related to my daily living. This vampire dream is not an ordinary dream. I did not watch scary movie like this for a very long time. If there is a meaning to it, it is beyond me. The most interesting part is the grasshopper jumping out of the side of wound, a transformation of some kind? who knows?

Psychology/Superconscious? - A Dream

I visited a psychological clinic, the clinic located on the top several-story building. I was trying to drive up to the clinic, spent several minutes looking for parking, and then I found that I had to park in the bottom garage and took elevator to the clinic. The doctor is a good and sensible person, but I don't know why I needed to visit a psychologist..... The time that I woke up was around 2:30am.

The next time I woke up round 6:30 am, I got a strange feeling about the concept of subconscious, it was vague but I felt information was important so I lied back down and tried to recall the detail of content. I twisted and turned, the phrases of ....

-Subconscious runs the show of my life
-It is overly competent , no need to eat and....
-Several days, Super conscious occupy the better part of my daily life
-What is the end result of running my daily life with Super conscious ?

These phrases were repeated over and over in my mind, it sounded like nonsense, I was unable to get past those sentences.... as if the mind was like a broken audio tape recorder caught in a loop, I felt frustrated and gave up.

So far, I have practiced reality checking, intention setting, vibrational alarm setting during the night for at least 3 months, but lucid dreaming is still a non-reality to me. Most of the time, I have hard time even to recall my dreams. It is either a hit or a miss. I need to cultivate having all parts of my consciousness to work in concert and in synchronicity to support my goal of lucid dreaming. But how do I do that?