Overcoming Life's Disappointments- A Book

Most of us probably had seen the old movie " The Ten Commendments", made in 1950s, quite a long drawn movie, the runtime of almost 4 hours. I remember at time I fell asleep in the middle of it. But, I managed to wake up in a nick of time when the pivotal point of the movie just about to flex its theatrical prowess.

In order to demonstrate the awesome power of God in a way of intimidation to the Pharaoh of Egypt, Moses magically transformed the staff he carried into a viciously looking serpent. While desperately in need of crossing the Red Sea with Egyptian army hot in pursuit, Moses divided the sea for Israeli people to pass in safety. When the Pharaoh's army tried to follow them to pass the Red Sea, Moses again testify his almighty power by causing the roaring sea waves crumpling down, swallowed and drowned all of the enemy troop. In an era without computer generated special effect, I thought the visual and sound effect is no less powerful than the film made today.

We see the legendary hero like Moses not as a mortal human being like us, but a lot more like super human with a supernatural ability that can be bordered God-like, faultless, impeccable and virtuous. Well, you are about to change your perspective after reading this book of "Overcoming Life's Disappointment" about Moses or about any of our revered so-called saints. I can safely say that no one is really perfect in the land of living.

However, the point of the book is to use Moses's life as an example, showing us that in the course of our life, we are bound to encounter some minor inconveniences or other major tragedies that could throw us into the abyss of despair and disappointment. Life is not meant to be rose garden everyday, even rose garden does not bloom in all seasons. Moses had plenty of his share of exhibiting the dark side of human emotional roller coaster rides. If Moses, a hero favored by God, endowed a supernatural gift by God could fall into anger, despair and jealousy, we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves when life does not turn out the way we wanted and as a result we display some unwanted negative emotions.

It is not so much the destiny that we arrive that defines us, it is the struggle and the way we handle the struggle that really makes a mark of our existence. In a way, we are heroes in our spheres of influence that make up of our own unique world. Rabbie Harold S. Kushner has made a great contribution by showing us how we can overcome all of the life's disappointments and emerge in the end as a person wiser, and fulfilled knowing that we have risen above the circumstances however difficult it may be.

Six Principles of Enlightened Living - Buddha Mind, Buddha Body

This is a small part of the text in the book of "Buddha Mind, Buddha Body". I borrow most of my books from County Library, therefore I do not possess the book to refresh my mind of what I have learned six months later. The way to help me practice this profound teachings of "Buddha Mind, Buddha Body" is to painstakingly copying down in my journal so that I can remind myself from time to time. I found the message down-to-earth common sense. But in the midst of my busy daily living, how easily I forget them.

" You Must Know Yourself, Know Your Weakness" - E. J Gold
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• Giving

The first practice is the practice of giving. It is wonderful to give. When you are angry with someone, you have the tendency to punish him or her. You want to deprive him or her of this and of that; that is our natural tendency. But if you can bring yourself to give him or her something, your anger will vanish and you will go to the other shore right away, the shore of non-anger. Try it. Suppose from time to time, you get angry of your partner and you know that it will happen again in the future. So,you go and buy or you make a gift and you hide it somewhere. Next time you get angry at him or her, don't do or say anything, just take the gift and give it to him. You will no longer be angry with him. That is the recommendation of the Buddha.

The Buddha taught us many ways to deal with our anger, and this is one of the ways. When you are very angry of someone, give him something, give her something; practice generosity. You don't need to be rich in order to practice giving. You don't have to go to supermarket in order to make a gift. The way you look at him is already a gift. There is compassion in your eye. The way you speak is a gift, because what you say is so sweet, is so liberating. A letter you write her can also be a gift. We are very wealthy in terms of thinking, in terms of speech, in terms of action; We can always be generous. Don't be thrifty. You can give at anytime, and that will inspire the happiness of people around you. Always give, and you become richer and richer every moment. That is the first practice of giving.

• The Mindfulness Training

The second practice is the practice of mindfulness training. The practice of mindfulness training is also a gift- a gift to you and a gift to people you love. If you abide by the practice of mindfulness trainings, you protect yourself, you make yourself beautiful, you make yourself wholesome, you make yourself safe, and that will support the happiness of the other people. By practicing the mindfulness trainings, you are protected by the energy of buddha, the dharma, you will not create suffering for yourself and for people around you. The mindfulness training deal with integrity, honesty and compassion. They encompass protecting life, preventing war and destruction of life, practicing generosity, preventing sexual misconduct, practicing mindful, loving speech and deep listening, and practicing mindful consumption.

• Inclusiveness

The third principle is the practice of inclusiveness, the practice of helping your heart to grow larger and larger all the time. How can we help our hearts to grow eneryday , to be able to embrace everything? When your heart is big, you have a lot of understanding and compassion, and then there is no problem, you don"t suffer, and you embrace him or her because your heart is big. We suffer because our heart is small. And we demand that the other person should change in order to be accepted by us. But when our heart is large, we don"t put forth any conditions, we accept them as they are, and they have a chance to transform. The secret is how to grow our hearts.

Helping our heart to grow big is the capacity of embracing everyone, everything, you don"t exclude anyone. Whatever a person's color, religion, or political beliefs, you accept them all with no discrimination whatsoever. Inclusiveness here means nondiscrimination.

• Diligence

When we study consciousness in buddhism, we understand the meaning of diligence in terms of Store consciousness (Subconsciousness), in terms of seeds. In our subconsciousness there are seeds of suffering and seeds of happiness, wholesome and unwholesome seeds. The practice of diligence consists of watering the wholesome seeds.

First of all, arrange your life in a way that the bad seeds will have no chance to manifest. This takes a little bit of organization. We have to organize our life, our environment in such a way that the seed of violence, the seed of anger, the seed of despair in us has no chance to be watered. There are those of us who live in the kind of environment where negative seeds are watered every day. And of by chance the negative seeds have been watered and manifest, what should you do? Arrange so that they can go back to their form of seeds as quickly as possible.

• Meditation

Meditation means to generate the energy of mindfulness and to maintain concentration. With mndfulness you can get in touch with the wonderful events of life for your nourishment and healing. Concentration helps you to look at everything deeply in order to discover the nature of impermanence, non-self and inter-being.

• Wisdom

We cultivate mindfulness, we cultivate concentration and understanding, and wisdom is the fruit of our cultivation. Wisdom is the fruit as well as the means to reach liberation. When w live deeply every moment with mindfulness, concentration and understanding, your insight grows. It is our understanding that brings compassion, that liberate us from afflictions like fear, like anger.

Missile Launch - A Meditative Experience

I was deep in meditation, sitting in a Burmese position for over an hour. I had no usual sweet swirling feeling on my head. My attention was focused on the third eye and crown chakra with very little thought popping in and out of my mental screen. To meditate without any intruding thought is still very difficult for me, but I manage to fend off most of them, keep them at bay without interfering my sense of tranquility.

All of a sudden, my entire being was vibrating and I felt I was catapulted upward as if a rocket was launched into space. I sensed the motion of spiraling towards the sky, when I looked down, the earth was dizzily whirling smaller and smaller beneath. Gradually I reached a higher altitude, and started falling down from above the cloud. As I slowly sky diving, I watched the barren sandy field, the stream and the waterfall got larger and closer to the ground. As my feet touched the solid earth, all the scene of desert, sand dung, the tiny stream vanished in an instant. I was back to my senses and found myself still in a sitting meditative posture and my mind immediately conjured up the phrase "Missile launch". The entire scenario lasted only seconds.

Buddha - A Novel from Deepak Chopra

When I got hold of this book a week ago, I wasn't convinced of anyone who lives in the 21st century largely insulated by modern technology and everyday convenience would have the necessary insight and penetrating understanding of how Buddha stumbled and struggled to achieve enlightenment in an era of hard and difficult living.

The name of Buddha is now a term universally recognized in four corners of the world. I can imagine the challenge of accurately portraitng a being vastly beyond our comprehension and is consider a supreme God in some culture. Well, I wasn't disappointed of Chopra's accomplishment. The story is very well plotted, but much more amazing feat is the Buddha's teaching weaving seamlessly in the tale of adventure seeking to end suffering for all humanity.

The book is read like a beautiful poem, blending philosophy, psychology and metaphysics in a panorama of mankind's evolution condensed and culminated in Buddha's life. Some sections of the story is like Zen meditation, it's paradoxical and yet it rings true to our inner self. I have to read several times to grasp it's profound meaning. The book is delightful to read as it is inspirational to the musing of the mind.

Spiritual Warrior !?

Whenever I look into the subject of spiritual advancement, I encountered several times a curious term called 'Spiritual Warrior", describing a fearless composure of an adept battling one's ego to reach higher order of mental plane. The term is oxymoron and it is kind of like saying a person is "cruel kindness", or "benevolent dictator", quite self contradictory in my humble opinion.

The history of mankind is riddled with conflict, dispute and warfare, it is hardly an appropriate way to label a person "warrior" when one's lofty goal in life is simply to achieve a sense of oneness, peace and tranquility in harmony with one's environment and to broaden the capacity of empathy in one's daily encounters.

After all, the major advancement in spirituality is not about doing battle with others externally or dragon slaying of our personal sin complex internally. It is more like letting go of our self- important ego; the ego that prevent us from seeing others as ourselves. A person who walks on the path of self discovery is merely trying to polish a mirror filled with a thick layer of greasy dust accumulated over thousands of years. Underlying that filthy dust, lies a shining, glittering mirror of perfection, some call it our "Buddha Nature".

The way I see it, the words of "Spiritual Warrior" probably come from our warring nature in the affair of the world. We seem to be constantly doing battle either with ourselves or with others. In this context, the realm of spiritual is considered one of the invisible domains that can be conquered at will by the earnest devotee. But still, "spiritual warrior" is unequivocally paradoxical to my understanding of the way of the spirit.

A New Day - Song That I Haven't Sung for Years!

MORNING HAS BROKEN

Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

How Starbucks Saved My Life - A Book

For all the self help books in the market, none can compare to this funny real life experience of a corporate high roller descended down to a lowly worker serving coffee in a busy New York neighborhood store of Starbucks Coffee.

Michael Gill did not live an ordinary life in his youth like most of us did. After graduated from one of the Ivy League, he joined a prestigious advertising company as an executive. Life was good. But through series of mysterious life events, he was brought down from an executive to having to look for a job to survive. It was in Starbucks, he truly realized the emptiness and shallowness of chasing rainbow in the corporate world. It was in Starbucks, he found genuine friendship, simple joy and profound happiness.

it is a fun book to read, delightful and full of humor.

Born on a Blue Day! - A Book

About a week ago, I accidentally stumbled on this book in my local library. To be honest, I had no idea what Autism was. I had to look up the dictionary to find its meaning. After reading several pages, I started to associate Daniel Tammet's Autistic symptom with that of the character in the movie "Rain Man" which was one of my all time favorites.

Read about Daniel's upbringing as an Autistic Savant was most fascinating. He described how numbers have soothing effect on him; he felt calm and happy around numbers and every number has distinctive color, shape, textures and personality. Somehow magically, he can do complex calculation in seconds without any mental exertion. Whenever he felt anxious, he will count numbers to himself. With numbers floating around his mental screen, he is sound and safe again.

People has Autism Spectrum Disorder live most comfortably with rigid set of routine, order and familiarity. Any sudden change in routine could cause severe anxiety. Normally, social interaction and communication proves to be impossible for people with ASD, as a result, most of them are institutionalized for life. But Daniel is different in a sense that he is able to interact and communicate with others. Not only that he has a brilliant mind in mathematical calculation and a phenomenal photographic memory, but also in the age of only 20something he now leads a normal functioning life without the need for institutional support.

This book, " Born On a Blue Day" takes us to the fascinating world of Daniel Tammet that is quite foreign to our own and yet very awe-inspiring. The mind of Autistic Savant is so out of this world that scientist still can not explain how an Autistic Savant is able to calculate large series of numbers in lightening speed.

How Am I?

Year 2007 is rapidly coming to a close. I found myself asking, "what have I achieved in my inner world of experience?" I consider myself an explorer of human consciousness and yet the vast sea of consciousness is still elusive to me. The water is uncharted and off-limit as if there is an invisible veil stubbornly and steadfastly unyielding to my insistent probe.

Over the last six years, I have enjoyed many good books and filled my brain with all sorts of intellectual understanding of the most profound phenomenon found only in the mind of a mystic. In the depth of the night, I occasionally experience a brief but mind exhilarating out of body experience where I travel to unknown locale sampling what I can only describe as first hand experience of our timeless, ageless energy body. There is no book, however meticulously and vividly narrated, can give me a taste of what is like to be experiencing an invisible, non-physical part of me. It is the knowing that is beyond belief.

It is comforting at least to have a glimpse of my invisible self. Last several months I found myself losing that ability fast. On one hand, I am afraid that my sense of connection with the invisible plane could fail and I will be back to square one as a kindergartener learning baby steps in my advancing age. But on the other hand, I just come to realize that whatever experience and non-experience that come my way, it must be a part of the necessary learning on my inner development. No growth is going straight up to the roof. Growth is more like a gentle wave moving in a formation of a spiral. Some said that inner journey of awakening and transformation is like climbing a wilding mountain; one can easily get lost without proper direction and guidance.

" Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars." - Les Brown

Energy Surge in Meditation

All life form have energy body that is best demonstrated by Kirlian photography. The dictionary definition of Kirlian Photography is a photographic process that supposedly records electrical discharges naturally emanating from living objects, producing an aura like glow surrounding the object on a photographic plate or film with which the object is in direct contact.

There are times when I am in a deep meditation, my body is asleep and relaxed, but my mind is sharp and focused. I can detect the slightest sound and stir in my room. After maintaining this focused mental state in a duration of an hour or so, I would experience a surge of energy pulsing through my body accompany it with a warm sensation. It happens when I am able to hold my body-mind in a still state for at least an hour.

There is not much information about energy surge during meditation. I am speculating that meditation is a very personalized practice, and not everyone experience the same kind of phenomenon due to the uniqueness of our individual life experience. Could it be that the energy body of ours is most likely to surface even in a minuscule second when mind-body is in an intensely aware and profoundly relaxed state? It is a glimpse of our true being, the essence of who we really are.

Lost My Way in Corporate World - A Dream

I am leisurely walking down the mass hall of the company that I am working for. One end of this mega company is in one city and the other end happens to be in another city, the length of the corporation stretches over several miles long.

It's been known that each department has its own unique architectural design. marketing department particularly, is hailed as one of the marvels of technological prowess and I have not gotten the chance of witnessing it until now. I walk a long way down and finally reach the marketing department. I swear I have not seen the inside of Plaza Hotel in New York, but the spectacular lighting, high ceiling with exquisite design and sparkling floor give me the impression of what Plaza Hotel must look like.

My accounting department is usually a quite place. We are a bunch of unassuming, down-to-earth people spending hours immersing ourselves in seemingly endless number crunching loop. But not here in marketing department. This is the place buzzing with people coming and going with posters and notebooks in their hands, walking with great sense of posture and purpose. The scene seems to have a dizzily hypnotic effect on me.

Suddenly, I remember that I have a 10:30 meeting to attend and it's time to get going. I search my mind for what is the fastest way to get back, instantly my logic ( however faulty it is ) tells me to get on a train ride. But I don't know which train I should be taking, so I ask one of the conductors for the correct train number, I do not receive any verbal confirmation but I get on the first train that roll on the station anyway. When the train is moving out of the station, I suddenly realize that it is heading the wrong direction toward Hollywood. I start to panic and feel anxious that I would not be able to get back in time for the meeting.

As the train snail its way, I see rundown inner city littering with trash and graffiti, with youths carrying an air of idly, indifferent attitude chatting away on the sidewalk looking rather bored! It is definitely not scenic for my taste. Gradually the scene fades, I regain my senses and wake up with a great relief that I am soundly in bed and there is no meeting. The time is 4:35 am.

A delightful Surprise - Fluff's New Behavior

One of the headaches of taking care of bird is that I can't train it going to specific place to poo like most of dog or cat do. I gather that may be it's because of its puny sized brain that it couldn't comprehend such a civilized habit like our designated bathroom as a place to relieve ourselves. Under normal circumstance, after a passage of a full week, Fluff's cage would be full of shit (not a curse) that cleaning her cage is the last thing I want to spend my weekend on. But obligation is obligation, there is no way out except the times that James volunteered for the chore, which is not a common occurrence.

I always tried to avoid having Fluff standing on my shoulder too long because I know that the bomb shell can drop on my somewhat clean shirt in any moment without notice. It was quite embarrassing walking around with bird poo on my back. I have personally experienced several awkward moments like that so I am now making darn sure that there was none of those ugly stuff on my clothes before I walk out of the door to my office.

Fluff is now busy hatching almost 24 hours a day saved the time we take her out for a little break and for her humongous-sized pooing opportunity. For the last three weeks, I was excused of cleaning her cage. Why? Because Fluff is suddenly very conscientious of her hygiene in the cage. I can not see even a single drop of poo in the cage in the last three weeks. I can't say the cage is sparkling clean, but it is unstained and unpolluted. It is nothing like what we have known of her the last twelve years. It is amazing that laying four eggs have totally changed her pooing behavior.

Nature has inbuilt certain safety net into Fluff's instinct, when event triggered that sensor, like laying eggs for reproductive purpose, she instinctively knows what is good and what is bad for her upcoming offspring even though the eggs will not be hatched because they are infertile. But Fluff doesn't know it yet. She is willing to sacrifice her carefree bomb dropping habit to ensure that the eggs are not contaminated by her own excrement.

Just for the fun of it - My Name

Name Analysis: Ming Fong Chen

Your name at birth was a set up! It set the stage for who you would become and the people and events you would be likely to attract. It helped to shape your perspective of life, your energy level and your attitudes. It helped to determine your level of self-esteem and your future potential for success or for struggle. Everything is energy in motion. Everything, including you - is like a powerful, broadcasting satellite - emanating distinct, vibrational frequencies that magnetically attract your experiences. What frequency is your name set to?

Expression: 7

The Expression number shows us who we truly are, what we came into this life already knowing. This is where we feel most comfortable and how we automatically act. We attract people and situations to us that require our Expression so that they can further evolve. In this way we play the role of teacher. Naturally we are attracted to occupations that we resonate to, so the Expression number can be a strong factor in our choice of a career as well. Our Expression is the vehicle, with all its virtues and vices, that drives us along the path of our Destiny. It is the essence of our identity.

Yours is the path of the mind. Silence and solitude are your doorways into the deep recesses of the mind and the universe. You are the philosopher, the analyst, the seeker and if you'd be willing, the teacher. The time and energy that you spend discovering the microscopic core of things has gifted you with the ability to tap into psychic energy. It is with this energy that you can separate the true from the false.

Soul Urge: 2

The Soul Urge number has also been called Heart's Desire and Spiritual Urge. It is our secret, innermost longing. Our dream, our motivation, the fuel that energizes our journey. The Soul Urge number reveals what we secretly strive to be or accomplish. Some have said that this number tells us what we have been in previous lifetimes, the accumulated growth of our soul.

Peace and harmony is your desire. You are a natural mediator as you are genuine, tactful and adaptable. You tend to put your own will aside for others and it is difficult for you to make decisions. This may cause others to see you as shy, or lacking confidence. Your sensitivity and gentleness can be a great healing force bringing harmony and support to others.

Persona: 5

The Persona number describes the way we appear to the outside world, the first impression people have of us. We may not even be aware of how we are perceived by others because we are so often focused on our inner world, and many times the inner does not match the outer. Persona gives us a peek at some hidden talents we have. The talents that we use to get along in the world and in some instances, protect us from it. It is likened to a bag of tools (jewels) that we carry with us along the way.

You've got charisma, and a following to prove it. You live by your belief that change is progress, and so there tends to be a quick turn over in your relationships, jobs and even educational interests. You are the proverbial, " jack of all trades-master of none.", and this gives you a multi-dimensionality that befriends you to people of every walk of life. You are colorful in your dress and possess a magnetic sensuality.

Kite Runner - A novel

It was a chance encounter that I had the opportunity to read this book. Ever since Starbucks Coffee raised its coffee price, forever conscientious of how I spend my money on luxurious indulgence, I have not set foot to the store for over several months. But on one of the recent Sundays, weather was hot and humid, I suddenly remembered how refreshing and invigorating a cup of ice Coffee would do to jump start my precious, fleeting weekend.

Not only was I satisfied with that particular cup of coffee that cooled and flavored my Sunday morning, I also came away with an introduction of a book called Kite Runner. A story that was so engrossed that I even dreamed of some characters as if I was a part of it. That had never happened before. I have read countless books over the years, but not many books were so gripping that it will occupy my mind almost day and night even after I have finished reading it.

The background of the story is in the war torn era of Afghanistan. The novel brilliantly embodied and illustrated the whole array of human emotion of friendship, acceptance, humility, loyalty, betrayal and redemption in its most vivid and engaging plot that will hold your attention and interest all the way to the end.

Life is a boomerang after all!

Barometer of Spiritual Progress

In the world of money worship, power seeking and success materialization, we mortals tend to measure our worthiness against these yardsticks. I bet most of us will look down some of the following situations as undesirable, unbearable and could consider them outright failure. Are they really?

The following list is unbelievably short and there are as many ways to count our misery and misfortune as of billions of population living in the planet earth.

Let's see what the wise man from India had to say about our soul's progression through adversity.

"Here is an infallible barometer to find out the degree of your spiritual progress. How would you feel, if:

1. Your clean hands or best clothes are stained.
2. You stumbled down or commit a blunder and are laughed at.
3. You are hurt accidentally or stung by an insect or scorpion.
4. You suffer from illness or pain.
5. You do not succeed in your efforts.
6. You do not get a thing that you want, or find that some thing you possess is missing.
7. You are kept waiting for a long time by some other person.
8. You are insulted or abused for no reason.
9. Others fail in their duties towards you.
10. You suffer a loss or bereavement.

If none of these can disturb your peace of mind and you are indifferent to them, you have won the struggle and achieved 50% self control.

God sends trials and troubles to strengthen your character: Greet them and test yourself." Swami Sivananda

The Forgotten 500 - A book

The World War II was an incredibly magnificent event in human history. Up to this day, the war had ended over six decades ago, there are still many untold heart warming stories guaranteed to lift up your spirit and make your day. This is the story that you will not want to miss. "The Forgotten 500" is such a mesmerizing book that it will take your breath away. You will not want to put it down till the end.

The background was in Nazi-occupied Yugoslavia during the war. American airmen were trapped behind enemy lines. An innocent, casual conversation between husband and wife set the stage of major clandestine rescue mission. Author, Gregory Freeman, did an extensive study and meticulous research interviewing the downed and survived airmen, some of them are now in their eighties and nineties. The story unfolded in stunning suspense with heroes being slayed and lies, glorified. While reading it, I couldn't help but shaking my head with disbelief of how convenient that the truth be swept under the rug of propaganda to serve the Superpower's agenda. It is a story that could stay with you for years; a tribute to the greatest rescue mission of World War II.


"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible"

A Revelation - Fluff's Identity

On one of the beautiful days of Autumn back in 1996, our family welcomed a new member to our home, a lovely yellow-orange colorful hand-fed Cockatiel. it was a gift given by my sister and James cousin. The Cockatiel was boarded on an airplane with my parents flying over 3,000 miles across the US continent in a cardboard box. We in Walnut, California were excited but weren't prepared of what to do.

At the time of his arrival, Fluff was only four months old. We adored him very much but weren't sure how to handle him, and he was visibly nervous and agitated being in an unfamiliar environment. As time went on, we adapted to each other. He loves eating from our palms, hanging out on our shoulders, snuggling and rubbing his head against our hair. He is especially fond of us giving him message on his yellow head and orange cheeks.

Every weekend like clockwork, he will be whistling out loud early in the morning and make sure we take him out of his cage. Time passes and in a blink of an eye, Fluff is now twelve years old. He is always in good health and we make sure he has a lot of exercise by having him flying around the house several rounds a day. Occasionally, James will take him out of the cage and do a wrestling match. We ( James and I) always enjoy several rounds of frivolous provoking of Fluff, the idea is to stimulate his senses lest it should become senile since he is fast approaching the advancing age. On average, the Cockatiel's lifespan is about fifteen years.

Two weeks ago, he started a very strange behavior. He chewed up all the newspaper covering the bottom of the cage and curl up itself in a protective posture. Every time we tried to get him out of the cage, he attacked us vehemently. We thought Fluff was crazy and we joked that Fluff might be depressed since he now entered into the midlife crisis. We simply brushed off his odd behavior offhandedly.

Last Sunday night, while James and I were again curiously observing his behavior, suddenly when he was ready to attack, James looked, Lo and Behold, there were two eggs in the cage. We were both shocked and incredulous of what's happening. Fluff, a "He" that we were so sure of for the last twelve years, laid two eggs. I told James, this is serious. How could a single male Cockatiel lay eggs? We immediately searched the Internet for answer, and it turns out that "he", is definitely a "she", and it was not uncommon for single female to lay eggs at all. The fact that Fluff has very bright, unfading orange cheeks and yellow feather for all these years fooled us all.

5 - Exit Point

Sylvia Browne is quite famous in the circle of psychic phenomenon. She has published many books and I have read some. Despite of the controversy surrounding her prediction or reading about some missing person's whereabouts and their ultimate destiny, I will say her attitude is quite genuine and sincere when comes to impart her knowledge and wisdom of the mystery of life in many of her books.

There are some esoteric knowledge to which the ordinary mind just could not have access. I found them quite fascinating and just plain comforting to know that our existence is not a random, haphazard, dice tossing probability. According to Sylvia, our lives were carefully charted and meticulously planned in minute detail with best intention from our creator, and accompanied by an array of guides and angels overseeing our treacherous journey on earth.

During the planning stage on the other side, we got to choose where we will be born, who will be our parents, how many siblings we will have, what kind of occupation we will hold, what are the challenges we will face throughout the path and ultimately overcome and what kind of lessons we set to learn in this life time. In the soul level, we actually have known all these in advance. All the seeming tragedy and triumph are all a stage play being very well rehearsed before we embark on this journey. It was way back in year 2001 when I first encounter this mystical knowledge from Dr. Jonathan Parker's "Enlightenment Series". I surely need a lot of reminder to stay put on my path.

The other piece of information is about 5 exit points that we planned during the sojourn of our journey. Since we have painstakingly mapped out our on stage play, it seems logical to believe that we should have also planned ahead of how we are going to exit off stage. Well, it turns out that we have five chances during our life to say "enough is enough, I am out of here". I thought it is generous that we are given that many opportunities to say "yes". We heard stories of "close call"of varied life and death situations in many sources. Could it be that, those "close call" may well be one of the 5 destined exit point that we deliberately set up while on the other side? At the moment of crucial juncture, we tell ourselves that "net yet, I am not ready" and we missed the whatever means of exit plan we devised for ourselves so that we can complete our life's mission and purpose. I thought whoever created us is pretty ingenious and compassionate enough that we are given that many choices.

Inner Crisis of a Saint - Mother Theresa

There was a news report a few weeks ago talking about Mother Theresa's spiritual crisis lasted nearly half of a century. In the public eye, she was kind, self sacrificing and compassionately living among the poorest of the poor, but deep inside she was desperate, empty and frustrated longing for heavenly confirmation of her deeds and actions. She captured the heart and soul of millions worldwide, but she thought she failed to capture the attention and encouragement of her heavenly father.

This previously private undisclosed diary of hers has flared up a tiny vortex of debate and discussion, and some atheists use this piece of information claiming that her private thought has proved that religion and spirituality is merely human construct of illusory nature and god do not exist, pure and simple.

That is not so. Over the history, there were saints walking the path of serving humanity all due to the vision that they received earlier in their lives. There are some souls have charted their lives for specific missions to fulfill. Vision or voice of god in dream is one of the many ways of arousing their attention in the midest of their seemingly uneventful daily living. Saint Francis had a dream in which god spoke to him asking him to repair the downtrodden and dilapidated churches in his time. That was the first step that had led him to his life path. There are many ways that we can be awaken to the call and duty of what we are here to do. It is just that some souls have more grander and heavier responsibility than that of the ordinary soul like you and me, at least in this life time.

When everything goes well with us, we don't need god. Life is a wonderful merry-go-round. I have read countless books about how crisis in life disguised itself as an opportunity for us to look at our life from a higher perspective. The vision that Mother Theresa received earlier in her life was a nudge from heaven reminding her to be true to her path. She heeded the vision and the rest is history. During the course, she got several more visions all were revealed when a critical juncture was reached and decision needed to be made at that time. She was so dedicated to her calling, there was no need for god to remind her of what she supposed to do during later part of her life. Her spiritual crisis was not crisis in a practical sense, she just missed and longed for even tiny hint that god approved, confirmed and appreciated what she has done.

It is just human that we all need constant psychological inner nourishment. Once you have a tiny unearthly inner experience like Mother Theresa's vision of calling, the experience is often life changing and life takes a dramatic turn. The soul gets a big boost and there is nothing like it in the whole wide world. As a person heeds that inner calling and walks the path with diligence and dedication, like Mother Theresa did, over time the phenomena become less frequent. The journey of the soul has reached the phase of spiritual maturity. At this stage, the soul is doing its chart and fulfilling its life purpose, therefore there is no need for another (vision) harassment from god. Let me sum up with a mystic's understanding of nature of phenomenal vision.

"As one unfolds spiritually, the inner experiences become less phenomenal. Soul is gradually being led from the phenomenal worlds toward the worlds of true being at the soul plane and beyond", " Yet some feel unhappy when they no longer have the experiences that date back to their spiritual childhood". "It is like a high-school student demanding to become a first grader again because he was happier then. Life always takes us forward if we will go".

Middle East Conflict - The Saga Continues

In a span of about two months, I have read in a succession of three books all of them were related to the topic of Palestinian-Israeli conflict. Each of these three books looked at the situation in a different angle and each presented a valid viewpoint from that particular outlook. As I always believe, there is no good or bad, it is a matter of perspective.

The first book with Ariel Sharon, a former Prime Minister of Israel, as a centerpiece, chronicled his military and political career. Sharon was a controversial figure while on his political stage. Much of his childhood experience biased against Palestinian people has set the tone of how he went about setting the Israeli Administration in West Bank and Gaza Strip trying to systematically and deliberately limit, humble and humiliate Palestinian people's existence. There are curfews, road blocks, separation walls and check points that Palestinian people need to endure every day. In the occupied territory, Palestinian people are treated as sub-human, living in a submissive condition constantly harassed by Israeli's police. The policy under Sharon is that of rapid expansion of Israeli settlement. The goal is to drive Palestinian people to leave the territory out of despondence.

The next book I read is "One Country" by Ali Abuniman, a Palestinian-America. The interesting point is that he proposed a quite radical approach on the problem. Instead of maintaining two states, he proposed one country housing Palestinian and Israeli under one central administration with ample autonomy and equal rights for both camp. I think the idea is good, but it will take a
government with very enlightened top officials and cabinet members to devise policies and procedures equitably to benefit all people. The hurdle is likely to be from decades old of prejudice and cultural conditioning that has become ingrained as part of social fabrics of both people. Apart from Language and cultural difference, we have a formidable religious barrier to contend with. Throughout history, religion is one of the causes of obsession, oppression and aggression of blood shedding and conflict sustaining painful dramas played out in many regions of the world. If we put religious aspect in that Palestinian-Israeli melting pot, we may as well introduce an explosive time bomb in the already delicate and volatile situation. From my humble opinion, the idea is sound and good, but it is decades or may be century ahead of its time.

I thought this book should have caused an uproar if not a mass demonstration on the part of Palestinian people. "My Enemy, My Self" was written in Hebrew by an Israeli journalist and later was translated to English. In order to better understand how Arabs managed to live in the looming shadow of Israeli's tight control, Yoram Binur disguised himself as a lowly Arabic cheap laborer in occupied territories. The book revealed the first hand moccasin walking experience of being an Arab subject to the whim and oppression of his Israeli employer. Throughout the years of occupation, Israeli confiscated most of Palestinian people's properties and its livelihood therefore most of the Palestinians have to make their living employed by Israeli as unskilled cheap labor grossly underpaid and overworked. The Israeli's exploitation of Palestinian people is pervasive and humiliating. I was quite taken aback by his wrenching experience. You have to read the book to fully realize why Intifada uprising was a natural course of action of Palestinian people. It was an outcry of their many years debilitating frustration dealing with Israeli authority. They simply weren't given any chance of dignified living.

I can't help but reiterating the old cliche of "History tends to repeat itself". From the Biblical time, the land of Israel fell under the ruling of many other empires and regions. Particularly, the Roman Empire implemented a systematic and large-scale expulsion of Jews. There was a time that Jews were under the control and conquest of Muslims. Yes, Jewish State of Israeli did not come into its existence easily. It was a cornerstone in human history that through third party intervention a State of Israel was declared of legitimate existence. Now that table is turned in the twentieth century that Israel has become economically prosperous and has superior military presence in the middle east. Now it is their turn to oppress Muslims in the name of survival. How little have we learned from our bloody history!