Fighting for Dear Life - The Untold Story of Terri Schiavo

This story is engrossing, touching and absolutely heart breaking. The reader is about to be taken to the incredible ride of this insurmountable mountain moving acts over life and death helping Terri to stay alive. The saddest is that in the end Terri Schiavo was removed of her feeding tube on March 18, 2005 by the order of Florida Court despite the frenzied and exhausted efforts of her attorney, she was left starving and dehydrating to death, and died twelve days later as we all have remembered.

David Gibbs, her attorney took us into the midst of ugly and unforgiving legal battle, the outcome of it could potentially affect all of us when we will someday approach vulnerable advancing age. A book that once you get started, you will not want to put down until you finish reading it. The author, David Gibbs not only compassionately defended Terri's life every step of the way, he also painstakingly give us thorough analysis of this court decision from legal standpoint, and also from the viewpoint and framework of social, medical and moral implication.

The most beneficial part of the book for the readers is the section giving readers some
suggestions of how to protect ourselves in time of crisis. Giving the complexity of modern living, these advice are quite educational and absolutely priceless.

The issue of a person's worth living or not because of medical diagnosis of becoming "PVS" (Persistent Vegetative State) is controversial to say the least. I firmly believe that even if a person is temporary in PVS state, it does not mean a person is completely without consciousness. They hear and they understand, it just that they can not cognitively express or control their motor function, therefore for the naked eye, it seems they are unresponsive. We should not judge a person's state of being purely based on our observation through five physical senses.

Human or any living thing are like tip of an iceberg, we don't truly know a person's state of being solely by their outward expression. We are more than meets the eye. You will see in the book, the author has compiled many miraculous living proof cases throughout the US. to demonstrate that human brain is remarkably resilient, it is far beyond present day scientific or medical community's comprehension.

Anyone who is interested in an insightful good read, will find this book profoundly challenging of our belief system to the core. A woman was starved and dehydrated to death at the hand of our own justice system only because she was disabled! Can you believe this actually happened in the United States of America where the nation's founding principle of beliefs are liberty and justice for all? !

For One More Day - Mitch Albom

Mitch Albom, the author of " The Five People You Meet in Heaven" just published another new book " For One More Day". A good companion for living.

A tiny little book that you can finish reading it in just a few hours. The story was sad and yet familiar. It was a portrait of our worldly existence, the dramas that convey the feeling of love, triumph, happiness, humiliation, disappointment and betrayal. Isn't this what life all about? This is the story of millions. I bet no one that read the book will not have agreed with the author and said "yes, we have been there, but in a different scenarios".

Sometimes I doubt what the Metaphysicist would have hypothesized about the love of almighty God. They also claimed that we are perfect and we are immortal in a different dimension. I will from time to time buy into this wholesale spirituality. But then again, the world does not function from those assumptions. What I don't understand is that, if we are already perfect and immortal, why bother coming down to earth and go through these endless merry-go-round experiences? Why ego need to learn to be perfect? Ego belongs to us living on earth, and can not be perfect. It is obvious that everyone of us has our unique perspective of life, and it can not be any other way.

In the story of "For One More Day", it was only after he committed suicide, and waited for God's verdict of his living or dying that he was revealed the truth of little secrets in his family. The secrets would eventually set him free from all the years' agony and pain. He was shown the truth only when he was on the verge of transition to the other side. It was a life review and truth revelation process encountered by many in their so called (NDE) near death experience.

I hope we don't have to die to know the secret. I hope we discover and realize the truth every day. It is a wonderful book.

Like attract Like!

I am very excited to take on reading C. G. Jung's autobiography again. I must have devoured the book quickly without deep contemplation a year ago that I don't remember what I had read. It is as if this is the first time I read it. While Carl Jung recollected his childhood memories, I found my mind drifting off to my own distant past.

About twenty years ago, I worked in a small company at Temple City. There was a lady sat next to me, her name is Terry Miller. She had the kind of attitude that was arrogant and irritable. I sensed that most of the colleague there were quite tolerate of her. I felt uneasy working with this person. To be honest, she frightened me sometimes. Two months after I worked at this company, I had a strange happening that was unsettling.

One morning I took my son to kindergarten. At the time, I had Ford Tempo, a not too reliable car, but again I was not a very reliable person either. My left rear view mirror was missing, I meant to fix it a while ago, but just never got around to it. I was in a hurry and I could not see very well the distance between the cars in the left lane and it's relationship to my car because of the missing mirror, I took a big risk switching my car to the left lane. As soon as I did that, I heard a terrible engine squeaking sound and a loud crashing impact of my car with a big truck. I was terrified. We both stopped our car in the middle of the street.

A woman with short hair and looked like Terry Miller furiously got out of the truck, started pointing, cursing at me with all the four letter words that she could muster. I was completely numb and terrorized. She called and soon her uncle arrived. She was crying and cursing all over again. Finally policeman showed up. We exchanged the name and insurance company info, and to my horror, her name I found out was Terry Miller, exactly the same name as the person at my work. How could it possible that a woman looked like Terry Miller will have exactly the same name, same rotten attitude, crashing my car in this miserable morning? This was very mysterious indeed!

Years later, I will realize that there is a universal law of like attract like. Whatever we thought of constantly, manifest. I must have been worried and fearful of my work environment often for this to happen. When I was back to my office, I never mentioned that instance to her even after we had warmed up to a better relationship.

I guess it does not pay to be negative in any situation, and I should have fixed that rear view mirror long before the incident. Perhaps there would not have been an accident if I had mindfully done that. It all boils down to being responsible for what one has to do in daily living.

Medicine Buddha Dharma Service

Hsi-Lai Temple, Hacienda Heights, CA







This morning I attended year 2006 Medicine Buddha Dharma Service in Hsi-Lai Temple. This was a historical event for me. I had set foot to this Temple every once in a long while when I had some favors to ask from the Gods. I heard the Sutra Chanting every time I visited, but I always brushed it aside as a very superstitious ritual. Something that is kind of beneath me, of course not in an arrogant sense.

Last week, I had consulted the priest in the Temple regarding the possible arrangement of Buddhist Monk's chant in the event of my father's transition. She recommended me to come this weekend to join the service. I promised I will do that for my father, but I was really just want to donate some money and to exchange for the Buddha's chanting and blessing service. I never intended to stay longer than half an hour given the fact that weekends are my favorite days off and I did not want to waste in trivial activities.

As I continue to read "The Seven Storey Mountain" knowing that prayer and chanting are a major part of monastic life, and how Thomas Merton always gained a great sense of communion in a choir, I decided to attend the service from beginning to the end all together about three hours. I was also partly influenced by my sister when she last visited a few months ago. She shared with us her chanting experience.

I was not familiar with the procedure, but there were nuns going about giving us a pointer or two. The translated Sanskrit words were quite odd and difficult to pronounce, so I more or less focused on the soothing chant that filled the air in the Temple. For some unknown reason, I wept and was completely overtaken by the immense power of the chant. For several minutes, I could not stop shedding my tears. I felt as if I was pouring out my life long sorrow in that instant. Eventually, I got hold of myself and started to follow the chanting and prostrated myself humbly to the beautiful smily Buddhas. Deep inside I said to my self, I will bring Buddha home to my heart and to my soul.

Seven Storey Mountain - Thomas Merton

Thomas Merton and the Dalai Lama, 1968








I first heard Thomas Merton's name this past summer when I read "My life with the Saints". The author elaborated several Catholic saints that he admired dearly. One of them is Thomas Merton, a Trappist Monk who died on an accident at his prime of 53 years old. When he wrote his autobiography of "The Seven Storey Mountain", he was only 33 years old.

I had preconceived notion that a person of only 33 years old can not possibly be too philosophical in his thinking, and definitely will not have enough life experience to impart his wisdom to the world. I first resisted reading it, but the autobiography was highly acclaimed, and was life changing for many. Since I borrowed the book from my local library, I might as well give it a chance.

Embedded in his ordinary childhood and sensual youthful adolescence, there was a soul beckoning to break out of the worldly existence. He was led mysteriously to the shrines, the churches of Rome for a time. He was in awe, and came away with a great sense of peace and joy. Those experiences were short, temporary and quickly forgotten, but they could have built a foundation for his life changing decision of being a Monk. It is a matter of gradual remembrance of what is essential of living one's life. There were reflection of his own behaviors and he was aware of the fact that this century of materialistic abundance molded most of us to be extrovert, self seeking and self indulgent in all of our five physical senses. It took a great soul in such a young age to have this magnificent realization of the truth. I remember when I was at that age I thought spirituality was for old folks and for people with blind faith, and I will have no part of it.

I am reading his autobiography just about half way through. The transformation from extremely anti-Catholicism to secretly fascinated of Jesuits' ascetic, self restraining life style set the stage of his vocation. The journey itself is very humanly subtle, as the saying goes, God writes straight with crooked lines. There was no booming voice from God commanding his life changing decision. In a slightest twist we all can relate to his inner journey.

Besides bringing spiritual inspiration to the world , Thomas Merton was extraordinarily brilliant and funny in his writing. It is a literary masterpiece.

PS. There was actually a voice prompting him to become a Catholic, not exactly a booming one but quite insistent nonetheless.

My Thesis Title: Unconscious World of Dream - A Jungian Perspective

During last week, I was diligently searching for my thesis topic. Since then I have switched gear by narrowing down the type of topic I can present in my thesis. Instead of exploring the metaphysical concept, which is quite illusive and subjective, I have decided to take on the subject of unconscious world of dream from the perspective of Jungians Dream psychology.

During summer of year 2005, I took an interest in reading Carl Jung's autobiography of Memories, Dreams and Reflections. It was a fascinating read and I felt I have some kind of kinship with Carl Jung's work. In his autobiography, he recorded several of his own mystical spiritual experiences that was quite transforming for him. The fact that he was trained as a medical doctor, and yet he never discounted his own inner world as whimsical or fanciful, he opened himself to a new vista of inner experiences of his soul.

I myself have recorded many dreams and mind travel experiences in this journal, but I have never tried to interpret its meaning or its significance. Instead, I was fascinated with the creative dream scenarios that my unconscious mind was able to produce without input from my conscious mind. There lies a collective unconscious of human psyche shared with all humanity which transcend race, gender or social status. It is a cosmic reservoir of knowledge and wisdom called akashic record that can be accessed by all of us.

Carl Jung's theory of dream psychology is very well established in modern psychology, in fact my metaphysical study presented quite a few of Carl Jung's psychological work. I am passionate about the dream work, and I also have some personal experiences. So, I have decided the title of my thesis "Unconscious World of Dream, a Jungian perspective". This thesis will consist of 5,000 words and has a very strict format of presentation. I now tentatively set a completion date of mid February of year 2007.

In Search of a Subject for Thesis

I have been searching the topic of thesis for my Master Degree of Metaphysical Sciences. I need a topic that is mysterious in nature, non-fiction, is metaphysical but also have the quality of verifiable scientific evidence, meaning it has substantial volume of researched material available
in existence. Lucid dream or astral travel will not do because they are too subjective, and there is no scientific way to verify the existence of the experience. Any kind of personal metaphysical experience is not quantifiable and measurable therefore it can not be used as a subject for my Thesis.

So, I need something that can be captivating to the imagination of human kind, but also fascinating enough to generate a sense of excitement and exploration not only to the westerners but also for all mankind. So, the search continues....

I have studied various kinds of Divination systems in my Metaphysical courses, but to be proficient in any of them requires many years of experience and practice. They can not be mastered in three months. Astrology is completely out of my reach. Reincarnation has been very well documented but I have no personal experience therefore any research I do will be rehash of Dr. Ian Stevenson's work. Reiki healing is becoming popular among new age spirituality, but I have not received any training on it.

As far as Yoga, I am a student of Self-Realization fellowship, a foundation built by Sri Yogananda back in 1940's. The particular branch of Yoga taught by Sri Yogananda is Kriya Yoga. In order to receive Kriya Yoga teaching, I need to have fundamental training for one year before I will be qualified to receive Kriya Yoga. So, I can't say that I know much of Kriya Yoga yet. Let's see... Hypnosis, Channeling are not my cup of tea, as to meditation and aura viewing, I am still in the process of learning the ins and outs. So, I will have to search some more....

Bridge Construction - mind travel

The swirling sensation started and I sensed the usual floating of my mind, and off I went circling around my room several times and then out of my bedroom window. When I was outside, it was dark and cloudy. I can't see anything, so I used the technique of yelling "Clarity Now" in my mind several times, miraculously the sky cleared up and I floated in an open space.

There were dozens of industrial workers wearing bright orange color helmet and vest going about clearing the rocks on the mountain. It was a rocky mountain, and they were working on bridge construction around this area. Some of them using heavy industrial machinery to move Huge rocks, others using smaller hand held tools to cut through the smaller rocks. I observed their activity a while and then I got bored and floated out. Well I must have slipped into a dream state....

My home was on the edge of mountain, it was quite an effort to climb several big stones to enter the house. Well, I finally got to the upstairs. My house was full of spider webs, the type that was enormous. Some of them were hanging from the top of ceiling to the bottom of the floor, when sun shined on it, it was glistening and sparkling. It was quite a scene and not really scary. For some reason, I just felt I need to open my parents bedroom. As I opened the door, I was surprised to see my father got up from bed and tried to walk and sit on a chair. I yelled to my family to help him and we all congregated around him and then gradually dream faded....
______________________________________
My father has been ill quite a while. He is now in Convalescence home requiring substantial daily assistance. Perhaps my wishful thinking of his recovery was the cause of the dream!

A Reflection - ebook, The Handbook of the Navigator

Last week,I spent a great deal of time reading a book called "The Handbook of the Navigator' an e-book written by Eric Pepin, founder of Higher Balance Publishing. It is a free download (please click on the title to get a copy). You know, I love free stuff so off I go downloading and reading it.

It offers a unique aspect of how universe works. I could not comment on some of the creation process since I don't have his level of experience and knowledge. I believe this book need to be read several times slowly in order to be simulated to our full understanding. As the author put it " Give it thought, give it reflection and give it time".

In the chapter of "Way of The White Cell", the analogy of the macro as a reflection of micro, explaining our body is like the planet, the star and the galaxy. Many billions of micro living organisms that we call "Cell" made up of our body, working 24/7 for every second and every day of our life to sustain our existence. Isn't this an amazing thing to know? When I had paper cut on my finger, as painful as it happened, I knew I can count on the wisdom of the living organism in me to repair it in a couple of days without my conscious thought.

The chapter of "The world is Alive" is truly brilliant, and his presentation does have solid scientific base which is resonant with the concept in the "Holographic Universe".

I do have something to say for the chapter of "Migration of the Sleeper". The topic of developing the Six Sense. Much thanks to Hollywood's theatrical grandstand, the Sixth Sense seems to have a not too positive connotation. I myself have little Sixth Sense, at least not very well developed even though I have tried working on it several times. It is true that most of the spiritual teachers are very much against the desire to develop the ability especially for the beginner. There is merit on this approach.

In this world of material wonderland, fully developed Sixth Sense without proper realization of true spirituality is a dangerous water to meddle. Such person would find that he (she) indeed is able to control, manipulate or abuse the power to his (her)advantage. Due to the human nature, there is no turning back for what will happen next and even a bigger potentially dangerous next.

But on the other hand, for the genuine seeker of higher consciousness, even a tiny spiritual experience could profoundly transform one's view of life and the universe. It is a matter of knowing it by first hand experience. It is very much like trying to explain color "Red" to a blind person. You can conjure up all the vocabularies in the world to describe it, the blind can not know it until he sees it.

Lunch With God

Tonight, while I was browsing the web, I came across this article from Hidden Universe website.

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A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six pack of Root beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

He gratefully accepted it and smiled at him. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.

Again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old man, and gave him a hug.

He gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home.

His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked, "Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Embrace all equally!

God is in all of us!

One Billion Customers - A book about China

Every time I visit my local library, I usually find something interesting to read. Two weeks ago, I was leisurely strolling down the "New Book" section and a book caught my attention, "One Billion Customers". At a glance, I thought it was a marketing book, but then the cover gave way to the content. It was about all mighty China.

The author James McGregor served as China Bureau Chief of The Wall Street Journal,and had personally stayed in China for extended period of time. He is very knowledgeable of Chinese culture, its government,it's people, and the modern history.

If we flash back of Chinese history, the imperial rule was a thread crossing through twisting, winding four thousand years war torn history. Throughout history, Chinese people were ruled under many changing dynasty of dictatorship. With the longest continuous civilization and great heritage, coupled with the oppression and obedience, Chinese were as proud as they were humble. They believed that they were the center of all nations,other surrounding nations were barbarians in Chinese viewpoint.

But the recent history wasn't as glorious though. China had suffered from defeat and humiliation for the last century due to the foreign intervention and its own corruption. But that was also a passing history now. Since world war II, things were changing rapidly. China has gone through many facets of transformations. In the early 1980, China dismantled collective farming and allow privatization, have gained admission of World Trade Organization. After stagnating under communist ruling, China is now the fast-growing economy. With a population of 1.3 billion, China represents the biggest consumer market in the world. This book provides lessons about how Chinese system works, what are dos and don'ts. It is entertaining as it is practical.

Jumped over a Five-Foot wide cliff - A Dream

I have practiced Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming Technique introduced by Stephan Laberge from Lucidity Institute for the last several days. It certainly was a challenge.

After four and a half hour sleep and one-hour meditation, I was ready to implement the "WILD" technique. I felt very confident because I have enough of rest for the night. I started counting
"1. I am dreaming, 2. I am dreaming 3. I am dreaming....." , somewhere between 10 to 15 count my mind would wonder for may be just a couple of seconds, then I would forget the number of counting. According to the Lucidity Institute, if we lost track of count, we suppose to go back to
count number 1. Boy, that was annoying! I have recounted the number at least four or five times in every session. Somehow, I simply was not able to focus like I did in meditation, and I thought meditation was harder to achieve!

I had several dreams after practicing this technique, but there was only one of the scenarios did provide me with a dream sign. Unfortunately I did not recognize it until after I recalled my dreams.

" I was taking a trip by airplane, but the plane landed in a wrong side of the airport. The airport is huge, I had no idea how to navigate to the other side of airport where someone was waiting to pick me up. I was searching a solution, then my dream guide came up. I did not recognize either the name or the face. Well, he recommended I walked with him and he will guide me to the place where I should be. To across the field to the other side, we need to jump over a five-foot wide cliff. I felt uneasy and hesitated, but my dream guide just held tight of my hand and we jumped. When I landed I was almost tipped over and fell down the deep cliff because the hill was sloping uphill. Well, I quickly regained my balance and gradually dream faded!

The moral of the story is that how was there a need to jump over a cliff to get to the other side of the airport in the modern day ? That was a perfect dream sign but I did not question it's validity when it was happening. A dream was just a dream after all.

Creativity and Dream

There must be a correlation of my reading " A Billion Customers" and my dream of being in China experiencing various situations. As I contemplated what I have dreamed, everything seemed to be logical and there was no peculiar dream sign that I can reckon with. So, this was an ordinary dream with no signpost pointing to the possible lucidity.

Dream is fleeting! Without catching it in a nick of time, it is almost impossible to remember after a full day's work. It is a good habit to write it down as soon as we are conscious and aware right after getting up in the morning.

If we ask most people about their creativity, we usually get the answer that, "No, I am not very creative" unless you are a bonafide artist. I will say the same of myself. But if you have ever kept a journal of your dreams and look back several years later, you will be so amazed that you even were able to come up with so many different dream scenarios. Dream is a creation of our own mind. It is not only our conscious mind that generate those interesting scenes, brilliant conversations, and mind-boggling theatrical scheme, it is a reservoir of human collective unconscious that we are able to tap into the creating process. Now, wouldn't you say you are most creative in your dream?

It is very well documented that many famous scientists, inventors, artists or best-selling authors credited their most creative Masterpieces to their insightful dream scenarios. To cultivate remembering dreams and to learn to be conscious and aware of our dreams do have practical uses in our daily life. In our dream, we are truly unlimited!

A Boat Ride? - A Dream

I am practicing my usual meditation routine by getting up 4:30 am, took one and half hour meditation to 6:00 am and went back to sleep and set alarm to wake up 6:45 am. I got several fragmented dreams.

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I got up early in the morning to discuss something with my son. I noticed that the floor of my home covered with gravel, as if I was walking on a country road. It was just overnight our Pergo floor disappeared. I was shocked and very much rattled to hysteria. I asked him what happened to our floor. He just casually said that he yanked it out last night, and he said the gravel floor is more natural. It was unbelievable....

*****
We were on a sightseeing tour, one of my brother-in-laws offered ride for us to go around town. He suggested that there were two routes to the other side of the town and he knew the fastest route. We will across ocean and can get there in ten minutes. Good, I like boat ride! So, we were waiting for him to somehow arrange a boat, but instead he asked us to get into his car. We looked at each other quite amused! We are going to across an ocean with a car? He said, "Don't worry, I have done it many times". While we hanged on our dear life, he was easy sailing over the calm, blueish ocean. When we got to the shore, he said "All right, you can hop out now". We all jumped out of his car and into the water that led us to the sandy beach! Well, we made it all right and nobody got wet either!

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I got up with alarm buzzing off. At first, I did not remember any dreams but as I thought a bit harder, these dreams came up. I was happy that I remember anything at all.

In reflection, these two scenarios can be triggers for my lucidity, but like many dreams that I had in the past, my critical thinking faculty was completely turned off. I failed to recognize the impossibility of its happening in real life.

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Dreams are a reservoir of knowledge and experience, yet they are often overlooked as a vehicle for exploring reality. In the dream state our bodies are at rest, yet we see and hear, move about, and are even able to learn. When we make good use of the dream state, it is almost as if our lives were doubled: instead of a hundred years, we live two hundred."

-- Tibetan Buddhist Tarthang Tulku

Cell Phone, my dream sign

At the end of the day, a lots of people waiting outside of our office anticipating the announcement of Real Estate sale. One of my coworker was also there waiting. I asked the organizer what type of houses were for sale, he said in a strong accent that there were town homes for sale. Well, I said I was not interested in Town home. So I walked out of the area.

I walked toward the parking lot, the more I walked the more I was confused of where I parked my car. While I was searching for it, I took out my cell phone, looked at it and ready to dial for help. I noticed that my cell phone had a block of red markings on it that I did not recognize it before. At that moment, I suddenly realized that "I am dreaming". I was really excited. I thought to myself, I need to find a way to know this is really a dream. It happened that next to the parking lot, there was a booth carrying all kinds of merchandise for sale. I thrust my fist several times trying to smash the displayed merchandises. Well, the merchandise weren't breaking. The lady watching the booth was completely oblivious what I was doing. As if she did not see me at all. Well, the proof was irrefutable that I was dreaming.

"So what do I do in this big dark parking lot?" I thought I like to float up to the sky, immediately I floated up to the dark sky, it was dark, and everything on the ground got smaller and smaller. I noticed there was white dressed angel floating along with me, we spun around several times. Since I did not know how to sustain the lucidity, gradually I found myself fully awake and back to my normal sense.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This was the first time that I recognize the change of appearance of my cell phone as a signpost of my being in a dream.

" All things are of the substance of dreams"

Ego, my final frontier

As I work day and night on my personal evolution, I find that ego defense is somthing I have been trying very hard to let go but as always it is not without constant inner struggle.

I am in the stage of personal development where the lesson presented to me in the form of daily interaction with other people requires my attention to how I react or proactive in my perceived stressful situation. I have created a buss word to repeat whenever I am in the process of falling to my ego-self "it is all right, it is ok, there is no issue, non at all cause we are one". Well, it does not always work, but it works for fairly good percentage point.

Ego is our final frontier to conquer before we can expand our consciousness to accommodating all things and all people. Believe me, it is one thousand times easier said than done.

An Exerpt from James Blanchard Cisneros' "You have Chosen to Remember"

The ego is a limited belief system within your mind that you have molded and identified as being the real you. The ego survives by establishing boundaries, borders and limits on everything it sees. The defining of such boundaries, borders and limits gives it the illusion that it can tell you what is right and wrong, all in an effort to control you by instructing you on what you are and are not, how you should act and not act, and why you should judge those who challenge it; the status quo. You are taught the right and wrong way to do things, the right and wrong way to react. Because you learn from the outside world, you believe that truth lies outside of you.

Judgment and fear feed the ego, generating numerous perceived weaknesses and limitations you believe you must defend as real. The more time you spend in defense of the ego and your limitations, the more you believe that this is who you are. And because you see this ego as real and representing yourself, you defend it against anyone you perceive as attacking it. In your mind any view that does not support it attacks it.

You perceive the attacks (disagreements with your belief system) on your ego and its illusion as real, and so you become defensive. The more time you spend defending your false or ego-self, the more you reaffirm its reality. The more you reaffirm its reality, the more willing you are to come to its defense. The more you defend the illusion of the ego-self as real, the more concepts and ideas you will encounter in the world that don’t fit into your reality. You perceive different concepts and ideas as assaults to your reality. You defend your ego-self, through the act of judgment. The exercise of judgment separates you from your fellow brother or sister causing stress that may be conscious or unconscious. Stress creates confusion, and a build up of confusion ultimately leads to chaos.

You feel that by defending your beliefs, you strengthen them. Yet the more you defend them, the more they weaken you. The more time you spend in defense of your ego-self, the more time you will exist in a state of confusion. You might give your state of confusion a hundred different names, such as annoyance, anger, stress, sadness, depression, but they all exist because of your belief in the ego’s reality. They all exist within your mind and are fed and kept alive by your belief in your ego-self.

Your tolerance for pain may be high but your acceptance of your ego-self is not without limit. You will come to a point in your life where you will tell yourself that there must be a better way, a more fulfilling way of living that this just can’t be what it’s all about! These thoughts begin the process of awakening yourself to the knowledge of who you truly are.

Exploration is really the essence of the human spirit - Astronaut Frank Borman

In the "Adventuring with Boldness", the author, Bruce Paton, took us back in time to America's wild wild west and the Arctic region in 19 century, where there were uncharted regions with vast area of desert and wasteland, sub zero frozen mountain, treacherous water, horrendous barren, places that tested humans endurance and determination to the hilt. The exhaustion and starvation are constant companions for courageous explorers, and sometimes food is so scarce that cannibalism was unavoidable for survival.

Now that we are in a civilized twenty first century, everything is handed down to us in a golden platter. We have all the amenities of money can buy, most of the land or water has been mapped out, but behind all these achievement there were stories of human suffering, utter most endurance of harsh environment, and sheer determination to explore the vast land. Some did it for fame and fortune, others for pure human spirit of discovery and adventure.

As far as cannibalism, the thought of it is inconceivable for us sitting comfortably at home surrounded with plentiful of food and entertainment. But out there in the barren desert and freezing mountain where there are no hope of getting any food supply, cannibalism is the final and probably the only means of sustenance. The author indicated that in animal world, cannibalism is common and natural, there is no morality attached to the act. But for human, the survivors of cannibalism experienced profound psychological effect that are deep and long lasting. Often the sense of guilt, remorse and horror lingered for life. That goes to say that survival is the strongest instinct in animal kingdom including us human. Yes, society may condemn the act of cannibalism, but walked with those explorer's moccasin, we might do the same at the circumstances.

Mother Teresa

Up until I read the biography of Mother Teresa, I really don't know anything about her. I only know that she won a Nobel Peace Prize on 1979, and she served and helped the poorest among the poor in Asia, Africa and Latin America. Much of her interior and external life of details was not something that I aspired to follow. After all, I believe my inner work is more toward the practice of Juana Yoga, Yoga of knowledge and contemplation.

She was aspired to the calling from God to serve humanity while she was twelve years old, an age most people will like to just play and have fun. But there was a very distinct family influence on her vocation, at the least her mother was devotional, and as a family they prayed together at all times. She was an Albanian, but most of her life was spent on caring the poor and the under privileged in Calcutta, India. I admire her absolute faith on the Divine.

The author of the biography told, "What one has to understand about Mother Teresa is that she sees Christ in every person she encounters." It is one thing to acknowledge this statement, yet entirely another to live and breathe the statement. She was literally taking the verses in Bible by its face value and incorporate it to every aspect of her life. She saw the poor and the sick as Christ distressingly disguised. In a way, she reminded me of St. Francis of Assisi. St. Francis would approach, touch, embrace and care for lepers while most would shun away as quickly as possible.

Mother Teresa's life is exemplary, but only one among many millions will walk the noble but lonely path.

A Path of Self Discovery - quantumquests.com

Since I do not have any inner experience the last several weeks I went back to review my blog posting. I am actually amazed of how much wiser and confident I was a few years back. Now I am just wondering, am I de-evolving in my spiritual progression?

I was in a "beginner's luck" a while back. Nature has a way to encourage new paradigm shift. I had many interesting dreams, I astral travelled, read a substantial volume of conscious breaking books, I also experimented different types of programs like Holosync, Gateway, Shapeshifter's DNA Activation music and other meditative technique. Boy, was I busy the last few years!

It comes to the point of my study that I have a wealth of knowledge of spiritual teaching but without substantial inner experiences to validate or confirm the knowledge that I have accumulated. Do I really just rehash Dr. Jonathan Parker's teaching? Have I truly understood and experienced his teaching? The answer is yes and no.

I remember the first time that I listened to his "Enlightenment Series", it resonated with my core being. I immediately realized that I have walked into the vault of esoteric teaching that will start a long and meandering journey to self discovery.

As in every learning process, I occasionally stumbled into some difficult courses that took me many months to get it clear from my head. One of them is leaving the past behind by understanding why things happened and how it was merely a lesson to learn. One of the most profound teachings from Dr. Parker is that of seeing life as a staged play with actors, actresses, supporting roles pre-arranged and the script, the background have all been known to each of us in different level of consciousness. To top it all, each of us plays a starring role with our family, our coworkers, our friends either play as good guys or bad guys all dedicated to help us grow.

Come to think about it, it makes a lot of sense. There are billions of people currently living in the planet earth. How that each one of us congregated to a particular circle of family, friends and whole different kind of life experiences? Even a twin are unlikely to experience the same life scenario. Our experience in life is unique to us. Even though it is unique, I do sometimes feel that my life is pretty boring, nonetheless I have chosen to live this way either consciously or unconsciously for a reason.

The Bad Guy

I now on my sixth month of metaphysical study from University of Metaphysical Sciences.
There are courses very fascinating and informative, but there are some I will procrastinate until the time that I need to do my homework. "Crystals and Gemstones" is one of them. I myself like crystals, I have several of them that I wear regularly, but I am not inclined to study further for their uses. I figure that inanimate objects will not be the essential components to elevate our level of consciousness. Ultimately, it is our own thought and attitude that is the key to enlightenment.

In an article written by Dr. Christine Breese, the founder of University of Metaphysical Sciences, I found the section of " Note of caution about the meditation" from "Reincarnation" course very much resonant with Dr. Jonathan Parker's "Enlightenment Series". The following narrative from Dr. Breese serves as a reminder for me to be open, forgiving, and accommodating to myself and others in all circumstances because we are all been there, done that even if we do not consciously remember them.

----It is not unusual to remember a string of lifetimes of suffering and victimization, and then remember the "bad Guy" lifetime that started the whole process. Every one has a bad guy lifetime, if not many. It is required study on the earth plane and no one can complete the reincarnational cycle unless "Misuse of Power 101" has been taken. This might not be your favorite "class", but like most degree obtained, there are a few classes in the curriculum that aren't as fun or as pleasurable as others, and might require more perseverance to get through. You would not graduate from the earth plane with true wisdom if you had not experienced being the bad guy. You must experience the bad guy's point of view if you are to truly understand what this reality is offering to the soul. You must experience what it is like to abuse your power and free will, misuse it, and then experience the law of cause and effect in action. It is one thing to be told about the law of cause and effect, but it its quite another to experience it.----

Lost in Philadelphia - A Dream

I was back on Temple University campus in Philadelphia. For some reason, I lost contact with my sister. I do not have transportation to go around the campus.

It is getting dark and I have been carrying a shopping basket full of stuff walking on the city street. The inner city of Philadelphia is not exactly safe. So, I left an urgent message to my sister but then I remember that she is taking classes at night so she might not be able to give me a ride back to campus.

What a dire situation that I let myself in ! Even worse than that, my sense of direction is terrible, I can not remember where I am just five minutes ago. I am desperately need some help, or else I will be left homeless in the danger looming inner city. My mind is in over drive, I can sense stress and nervousness swelled up in my body.

After walking aimlessly for a while, I notice there are still some people walking around in this late hour. I tell myself that I can not walk aimlessly, I need help. I finally get enough courage to ask several people that I need protection and direction to get back to campus....That was when I woke up.

When I open my eyes, I found myself in meditative sitting position. That means I was dreaming while meditating.

Lately I have experienced a little strange phenomenon. I will close my eyes and relax in various location, not necessarily to meditate. After a while, I will have inner dialogue within myself, as if I were talking to a person, addressing some urgent issue or just chit chatting away. Several times I will wake up from the brief relaxation and ask myself, what is going on there? I have a tendency to dose off when I am too relaxed! The dialogue may be a condensed, short dream!

Earth School

This post is not intended to reveal me in an ordinary sense. Long since I have walked the path, I have examined and decided that whoever I am from other people's point of view could not and should not disturb me in any circumstances. In a way, I live with this philosophy on a daily basis. I no longer try to impress others, and I no longer feel sorry for people who have psychological or mental difficulty, cause I for one live very closely with this situation. Basically, I understand that I may be playing a role of villain for all to see, but each of individual soul has a hidden agenda that is not apparent in the midst of hustles and bustles. Sometimes let it be is the wisest approach.

My take on the people that I deal with is that I know fundamentally we are part of this cosmic consciousness. Everyone comes in the world has spiritual help whether one is aware of it or not. With this knowledge, I tend to err in rendering free will as my strongest belief when dealing with others who have rough edges. I usually do not impose my view, my way of thinking or doing as absolute and uncompromising. I leave plenty of room for people to experiment and to make mistakes. As a result, the outcome that shows to the world is not too pretty. But then again, given the illusory nature of the world, and the possible eternity of our existence, what is the hurry to get it over and get it perfect the first time or the first 100 times?

Nothing that happens is truly random. It may seem that way from our naked eye for our naked eye can only discern very limited range of perception. Our naked eye can only see the tip of the iceberg, while the masses of iceberg is beyond our detection.

As far as I know we are here to learn lessons whether we are old or young, a parent or a child. A parent isn't necessarily wiser than a child. A position in a company or in society isn't indication of one's spiritual level of achievement. A homeless people that we see lying on the grand central station could be a old and wise soul incarnating into this lowly social status so that he or she is able to invoke our sense of compassion and help raise our level of consciousness. In a way, the homeless is helping us evolve, not the other way around as normally perceived. I know to some people this is completely against conventional wisdom, and does not make any sense. Well, obviously I can't prove my point here, at least not until I have evolved to certain level of mastery, but there are infinite ways that we can learn, conventionally and unconventionally.

A good meditative session

I got up as usual time of 5:am and meditated for one hour and forty five minutes. I consider this morning's meditation a fairly successful one. I was focused and fleeting thoughts were less intruding than what I had experienced last a couple of weeks.

I have been working on meditation a long time, but to reach a state of no thought is still a "once in a blue moon" kind of deal, rare and spontaneous. Although I did not have astral travel experience this morning, but just to have a good session of meditation is in itself quite satisfying. I got up feeling happy and upbeat!

St. Francis of Assisi

After I read the book "My life with the saints", I felt like to know more live stories of some of the saints mentioned in the book. The first book I got from the library is "God's Fool - The life and times of Francis of Assisi". It was written in French @ 1983 and was translated in English @ 1985.

Francis was quite eccentric and extraordinary in his path to sainthood. He was born in a wealthy , middle class family. His father owned a clothier store that had clientele included medieval nobles and knights. Because of his well-to-do, pampered life, his youth and adolescent was filled with comfort and indulgent with wine, women and songs.

The story told of how he had dramatically changed his perspective of life and the world was every bit fascinating. I suspect there was inner transformation taking place gradually that was inconceivable to other people. One day he traveled and stayed overnight in San Damiano church and God spoke to him and asked him to restore the rundown churches. That was the spark that eventually ignited the holy fire of his renunciation of the worldly pursuit.

His vow of poverty, chastity and obedience was quite extreme from our modern measure. But he was a man of action and a man with tremendous faith, he lived by what he preached. All his life he had never wavered from his own harsh discipline.

Most of us have read or heard a famous St. Francis Prayer. Although I do not know it came from St. Francis until I read an article from my metaphysical study introducing great spiritual teachers.

Peace Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument for your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving, that we receive,
it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned
and it is in dying, that we are born to eternal life.

In a Golden Pond - A Dream

I felt agitated when meditating. After about forty five minutes, I thought I can't continue, so I lied down.

After a while, I noticed that my left hand was lifeless. I poked it with my right hand, lifted it and dropped it down. There was no sign of life. I started to panic.

At that very moment, I had the floating sensation, I was round and round floating all over my room. It was just about running out of steam, I floated out of the window, and next thing I knew, I was floating in a pond. I saw red, yellow and blue fish swimming by me. I thought to myself, since I was in the water I might as well swim. I was awkwardly splashing with my two hands a few times. The water was yellowishly clear, seaweed and other sea plants swirling graciously in synchronization with the movement of water current. It was beautiful and refreshing, then the scene gradually faded...

This is the first time that I astral travel to a pond. I have no trouble breathing in the water. As a fact, It seemed natural enough to breathe in the water. In the real life, I don't swim, and never know how. I will probably drown if I did. But I was not panic while in the pond. Thanks to astral travel, I got the experience of swimming even just a little bit.

May be I should go bungee jumping next time !

Heaven and Hell

If someone deserve to go to hell, then that could be me. However, hell is not a place, but a state of mind and environment that we surround ourselves. If nothing that happens is truly random, then I deserve all the hellish experiences that unleashed last several years until now and on going. This is not to condemn myself, but to acknowledge that there is a reason of why something happens to us. Whatever happens to us is not as important as how we react or how we proact to the situation.

A story told by Dr. Jonathan Parker conveyed vivid picture of what is heaven and what is hell.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There was a Samurai visited a Zen Master and asked "Does heaven and hell really exist?"

Zen Master said, "who are you? How dare you ask this question?"

The Samurai said: "I am a Samurai, a warrior"

"A samurai ? !" Zen Master exclaimed. "Why, you have a face of a beggar."

The Samurai was very angry and ready to draw the sword!

The Zen Master said: "So you have a sword. I bet your sword is too dull to cut off my head!"

The Samurai drew the sword!

The Zen Master looked straight into his eyes and said: "That is Hell !"

Understand what Zen Master is trying to teach him, the Samurai humbled, bowed and withdrew his sword.

The Zen Master said: "Now, this is Heaven"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"All you may know of heaven or hell is within your own self" - Edger Cayce

Enrique's Journey - The story of a boy's dangerous Odyssey to reunite with his mother!

This is an astonishing, gripping true story of a Honduran boy who braves unimaginable hardship and peril to reach his mother in United States. It was heart breaking reading this book. Due to the grinding poverty in Central Americas, mothers are willing to sacrifice the family's separation and journey into US soil to work as manual labors so they can send money home for their young children to survive.

The story do not end with Enrique's finding his mother after treacherous ninth attempt. After the reunion, years built up of psychological problem surfaced and caused friction and depression between mother and son. Happily ever after only exist in novels and in movies. In real life, the psychological trauma of abandonment for those young children stay with them through the adulthood and beyond. It is the emotional scar that will not easily go away!

On his epic journey, he was robbed by Bandits, tortured by notorious Central America gangsters. He dangerously rode on the top of the freight train and constantly in fear of being discovered and deported back to Honduras after so many arduous attempts. Enrique is not a lone case. There are hundreds of Central America young men and women taking up this journey each year either looking for work in US or wanting to join their mothers. Some make it , but some got killed along the way.

It makes me wonder, what these kids did that deserve this kind of hard life? I also wonder is "God" in any of these?

Hong - Sau method of meditation

My meditation practice gets very erratic lately. There are good, long undistracted practices, but most of time I will abandon the practices half way just becuase too much random and distracted thought.

I started the "Hong-Sau" method taught by Self Realization Fellowship , and found that it is useful but also difficult to implement in the meditation. Here is the abbreviated version that I think I can live with it.

1. Breathe deeply to get body and mind in relaxed state. Inhale count to 5, pause count to 5 and exhale count to 5 for 6 to 10 times

2. Focus attention between the eyebrow ( the third eye)

3. Inhale and mentally chant "Hong", exhale and mentally chant "Sau" while focusing on the third eye for the next 10 to 15 minutes

4. Let go and still focus on the third eye, stay calm and quiet for the rest of the meditation.

I found it difficult to stay focus between eyebrow and mentally chant "Hong" "Sau" at the same time. I sometimes abandon the chant and just focus on between the eyebrow.

This morning, I have one hour and forty five minute meditation. It is the longest time I spent in the last month.

All the Catholic Saints that I have met

I am so delighted that I took up reading the book: "My Life with the Saints" from James Martin SJ. The whole last week that I was off from work I was and still mesmeric by the story and life of the saints that were introduced to me by James.

The book is entertaining, engaging and humorous. I don't have any western religious background, normally I have no desire reading Catholic Saints. Somehow, I was drawn to the book that afternoon while casually browsing on " new book " section on Rowland Height library.

Some of the Saints were not ancient, there were fellows from contemporary nineteenth and twentieth century. Therese of Lisieux and Bernadette Soubirous were from nineteen's century, Thomas Merton early twenties century, Pedro Arrupe and Mother Teresa from mid to late twenties century. I never knew that Catholic church sponsored many programs to help the poor and the underprivileged all over the world.

"Preach the Gospel, use words if necessary" ! It demonstrates that Catholic missionary teaching is action oriented, using thought, speech and action to do good for humanity all around the globe. The Jesuits will travel to Africa, Asia or any troubled spots of the world as part of their spiritual training. I found out surprisingly they are much more open, loving and actively engaging in the world community than the Buddhist monks.

I used to have a very rigid view about Catholic church. Consider the scandals happened in the past of catholic priests, I have stereotyped the catholic churches or similar organization as a powerful political organization that using God as a shield for their worldly gain. By reading this book, I have somewhat broaden my view about catholic church.

All these Saints are alive and well in author's prayer. It is amazing that sometimes the author's prayer was instantaneously answered. I wish I had half of the response rate from my long drawn meditation. I will guess in some way God is discriminative in answering prayer.

I found some of the sayings are very true:

• For those with faith no explanation is necessary; for those without faith no explanation is sufficient.

• God write straight with crooked line.
  

A flight out to beach - A Mind Travel Experience

I got up this morning at 5:00 am and meditated focusing on the third-eye, our spiritual center for about 70 minutes. I then lied down and intended to take a short rest for half an hour. In a short while, there was sensation of separating my etheric body and I floated out of window. I flew to a big tree, looking at massive leaves and I consciously holding on the branches for several seconds just to experience how it felt. I then moved on to a beach like open space. While I was flying, I saw a row of huge orange color rock formation beneath, I reached down of my hand and touched it and indeed it was solid, the next scene I landed in a little town and the scene slowly faded....

When I was back to my senses, I checked the clock, it was only 10 minutes passed before I lied down after the meditation. This would be the first time I intentionally touching the objects while etherically travelled. The sensation was just as real as when I am fully
conscious.

My etheric travel is always short but just having the experience make me really happy.

A change of plan

Not much inner experience happening last weeks or so for me. I attended my niece's wedding on 23rd of June. Seeing so many lively, gorgeous looking young people laughing and dancing I felt refreshed and invigorated by their upbeat, happy spirit.

I had arranged for Yosemite trip with my mother and my sisters after the wedding ceremony. I was fully committed until Friday before the trip that my son told me that he needed to start his full-time job on next Monday. Since then, I was debating whether I should come home with him to lend some psychological support or not.

Saturday night at about 2:00 am I contemplated the situations and I decided to go home with him. I knew it was crazy and I also knew that I would be scorned fast and hard, and others might not be so forgiving for changing the plan without consulting them first. There was no time to inform or consult anyone in the middle of the night and I had to call Southwest Air to see if I can get a seat on the flight of 9:35 am, and I also need to call Yosemite Reservation to see whether or not I need to be present for checking in because I was the one making the reservation. There were whole series of ramifications came with this decision. On top of that, I will make some people very mad. I knew the consequence of this change way before hand, it certainly would be very inconvenient to my family. But at the time, it was the right thing to do.

Thinking that he is going home to an empty house, starting a new job, with psychological and physical problems, I thought I need to be there. It is not a matter of trusting him to do the right thing, it is a matter of support and companionship in time of need.

My family did not go on the Yosemite trip partially due to my change of plan, instead they went to an interesting place like Napa Valley winery. I trust my two sisters can think of something interesting to do and I am sure they will have good time no matter where they go.

Trial of Life

I have hard time quieting and focusing during my meditation, I thought I am losing it. Since November of 2005, I stopped to have any insight and inner experiences during or after meditation. Because my morning meditation is not working so I compensate it by doing it rigorously during lunch hour.

In spite of not having any mystical experience, I am still upbeat, happy and positive as I slowly and deliberately walking my path. As I mentioned on previous posting, I have what most people will agree a nightmarish home life recently due to the accusation and anger toward the decision I made more than 15 years ago. I sympathize other people's suffering, but deep down I know that there is a reason for my playing a villain in someone else life. There were lessons to be learned and karma to be paid. No one escapes the immutable law of cause and effect.

In the midst of these trials and tribulations, I hope I have maintained my poise and dignity. I simply refuse to play a role of victim. I know that I have made a choice long ago that lead to the current state of affair. I am responsible and no one else. I have assimilated Jonathan Parker's teaching in most areas of my life. I have learned the truth and nature of our being. The wisdom, knowledge and experience that I have tugged under my consciousness hopefully will enable me to brave the storm of life graciously.

Challenge

The path to enlightenment is never straight forward. There are times that I have doubt of my meditation. There seems to be nothing happening. I will have some productive sessions, but a lot of time unproductive ones. I long for out of body experiences but they don't come under my will power. And lucid dream is just that an unfulfilled dream.

I have been studying metaphysical sciences, meditating daily, reading many books on like-kind subjects, contemplating my life's issues, receiving challenging karmic situations. It seems that the more that I determine to reach my dream, the more challenging life situations become. May be I have given myself a very tough assignment before my incarnation, but I forgot about it due to the passing of water of forgetfulness.

I am not against challenges. But sometimes I wish I know why things happened the way they did. I fully subscribe to the immutable universal law of cause and effect. I just like to know the causes of what is happening. Many metaphyscial study indicated that by meditating regularly, we are more attuned to akashic record of the universe, therefore past, present and future literally become open books for us. I suspect this is going to take a very long time and with tremendous discipline and effort. I am certainly no where near it at this stage.