Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Lost in Philadelphia - A Dream

I was back on Temple University campus in Philadelphia. For some reason, I lost contact with my sister. I do not have transportation to go around the campus.

It is getting dark and I have been carrying a shopping basket full of stuff walking on the city street. The inner city of Philadelphia is not exactly safe. So, I left an urgent message to my sister but then I remember that she is taking classes at night so she might not be able to give me a ride back to campus.

What a dire situation that I let myself in ! Even worse than that, my sense of direction is terrible, I can not remember where I am just five minutes ago. I am desperately need some help, or else I will be left homeless in the danger looming inner city. My mind is in over drive, I can sense stress and nervousness swelled up in my body.

After walking aimlessly for a while, I notice there are still some people walking around in this late hour. I tell myself that I can not walk aimlessly, I need help. I finally get enough courage to ask several people that I need protection and direction to get back to campus....That was when I woke up.

When I open my eyes, I found myself in meditative sitting position. That means I was dreaming while meditating.

Lately I have experienced a little strange phenomenon. I will close my eyes and relax in various location, not necessarily to meditate. After a while, I will have inner dialogue within myself, as if I were talking to a person, addressing some urgent issue or just chit chatting away. Several times I will wake up from the brief relaxation and ask myself, what is going on there? I have a tendency to dose off when I am too relaxed! The dialogue may be a condensed, short dream!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Earth School




This post is not intended to reveal me in an ordinary sense. Long since I have walked the path, I have examined and decided that whoever I am from other people's point of view could not and should not disturb me in any circumstances. In a way, I live with this philosophy on a daily basis. I no longer try to impress others, and I no longer feel sorry for people who have psychological or mental difficulty, cause I for one live very closely with this situation. Basically, I understand that I may be playing a role of villain for all to see, but each of individual soul has a hidden agenda that is not apparent in the midst of hustles and bustles. Sometimes let it be is the wisest approach.

My take on the people that I deal with is that I know fundamentally we are part of this cosmic consciousness. Everyone comes in the world has spiritual help whether one is aware of it or not. With this knowledge, I tend to err in rendering free will as my strongest belief when dealing with others who have rough edges. I usually do not impose my view, my way of thinking or doing as absolute and uncompromising. I leave plenty of room for people to experiment and to make mistakes. As a result, the outcome that shows to the world is not too pretty. But then again, given the illusory nature of the world, and the possible eternity of our existence, what is the hurry to get it over and get it perfect the first time or the first 100 times?

Nothing that happens is truly random. It may seem that way from our naked eye for our naked eye can only discern very limited range of perception. Our naked eye can only see the tip of the iceberg, while the masses of iceberg is beyond our detection.

As far as I know we are here to learn lessons whether we are old or young, a parent or a child. A parent isn't necessarily wiser than a child. A position in a company or in society isn't indication of one's spiritual level of achievement. A homeless people that we see lying on the grand central station could be a old and wise soul incarnating into this lowly social status so that he or she is able to invoke our sense of compassion and help raise our level of consciousness. In a way, the homeless is helping us evolve, not the other way around as normally perceived. I know to some people this is completely against conventional wisdom, and does not make any sense. Well, obviously I can't prove my point here, at least not until I have evolved to certain level of mastery, but there are infinite ways that we can learn, conventionally and unconventionally.

Friday, August 04, 2006

A good meditative session

I got up as usual time of 5:am and meditated for one hour and forty five minutes. I consider this morning's meditation a fairly successful one. I was focused and fleeting thoughts were less intruding than what I had experienced last a couple of weeks.

I have been working on meditation a long time, but to reach a state of no thought is still a "once in a blue moon" kind of deal, rare and spontaneous. Although I did not have astral travel experience this morning, but just to have a good session of meditation is in itself quite satisfying. I got up feeling happy and upbeat!

Friday, July 28, 2006

St. Francis of Assisi


After I read the book "My life with the saints", I felt like to know more live stories of some of the saints mentioned in the book. The first book I got from the library is "God's Fool - The life and times of Francis of Assisi". It was written in French @ 1983 and was translated in English @ 1985.


Francis was quite eccentric and extraordinary in his path to sainthood. He was born in a wealthy , middle class family. His father owned a clothier store that had clientele included medieval nobles and knights. Because of his well-to-do, pampered life, his youth and adolescent was filled with comfort and indulgent with wine, women and songs.

The story told of how he had dramatically changed his perspective of life and the world was every bit fascinating. I suspect there was inner transformation taking place gradually that was inconceivable to other people. One day he traveled and stayed overnight in San Damiano church and God spoke to him and asked him to restore the rundown churches. That was the spark that eventually ignited the holy fire of his renunciation of the worldly pursuit.

His vow of poverty, chastity and obedience was quite extreme from our modern measure. But he was a man of action and a man with tremendous faith, he lived by what he preached. All his life he had never wavered from his own harsh discipline.

Most of us have read or heard a famous St. Francis Prayer. Although I do not know it came from St. Francis until I read an article from my
metaphysical study introducing great spiritual teachers.

Peace Prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument for your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving, that we receive,
it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned
and it is in dying, that we are born to eternal life.

Friday, July 21, 2006

In a Golden Pond - A Dream




I felt agitated when meditating. After about forty five minutes, I thought I can't continue, so I lied down.

After a while, I noticed that my left hand was lifeless. I poked it with my right hand, lifted it and dropped it down. There was no sign of life. I started to panic.

At that very moment, I had the floating sensation, I was round and round floating all over my room. It was just about running out of steam, I floated out of the window, and next thing I knew, I was floating in a pond. I saw red, yellow and blue fish swimming by me. I thought to myself, since I was in the water I might as well swim. I was awkwardly splashing with my two hands a few times. The water was yellowishly clear, seaweed and other sea plants swirling graciously in synchronization with the movement of water current. It was beautiful and refreshing, then the scene gradually faded...

This is the first time that I astral travel to a pond. I have no trouble breathing in the water. As a fact, It seemed natural enough to breathe in the water. In the real life, I don't swim, and never know how. I will probably drown if I did. But I was not panic while in the pond. Thanks to astral travel, I got the experience of swimming even just a little bit.

May be I should go bungee jumping next time !

Monday, July 17, 2006

Heaven and Hell

If someone deserve to go to hell, then that could be me. However, hell is not a place, but a state of mind and environment that we surround ourselves. If nothing that happens is truly random, then I deserve all the hellish experiences that unleashed last several years until now and on going. This is not to condemn myself, but to acknowledge that there is a reason of why something happens to us. Whatever happens to us is not as important as how we react or how we proact to the situation.

A story told by Dr. Jonathan Parker conveyed vivid picture of what is heaven and what is hell.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There was a Samurai visited a Zen Master and asked "Does heaven and hell really exist?"

Zen Master said, "who are you? How dare you ask this question?"

The Samurai said: "I am a Samurai, a warrior"

"A samurai ? !" Zen Master exclaimed. "Why, you have a face of a beggar."

The Samurai was very angry and ready to draw the sword!

The Zen Master said: "So you have a sword. I bet your sword is too dull to cut off my head!"

The Samurai drew the sword!

The Zen Master looked straight into his eyes and said: "That is Hell !"

Understand what Zen Master is trying to teach him, the Samurai humbled, bowed and withdrew his sword.

The Zen Master said: "Now, this is Heaven"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"All you may know of heaven or hell is within your own self" - Edger Cayce

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Enrique's Journey - The story of a boy's dangerous Odyssey to reunite with his mother!

This is an astonishing, gripping true story of a Honduran boy who braves unimaginable hardship and peril to reach his mother in United States. It was heart breaking reading this book. Due to the grinding poverty in Central Americas, mothers are willing to sacrifice the family's separation and journey into US soil to work as manual labors so they can send money home for their young children to survive.

The story do not end with Enrique's finding his mother after treacherous ninth attempt. After the reunion, years built up of psychological problem surfaced and caused friction and depression between mother and son. Happily ever after only exist in novels and in movies. In real life, the psychological trauma of abandonment for those young children stay with them through the adulthood and beyond. It is the emotional scar that will not easily go away!

On his epic journey, he was robbed by Bandits, tortured by notorious Central America gangsters. He dangerously rode on the top of the freight train and constantly in fear of being discovered and deported back to Honduras after so many arduous attempts. Enrique is not a lone case. There are hundreds of Central America young men and women taking up this journey each year either looking for work in US or wanting to join their mothers. Some make it , but some got killed along the way.

It makes me wonder, what these kids did that deserve this kind of hard life? I also wonder is "God" in any of these?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hong - Sau method of meditation

My meditation practice gets very erratic lately. There are good, long undistracted practices, but most of time I will abandon the practices half way just becuase too much random and distracted thought.

I started the "Hong-Sau" method taught by Self Realization Fellowship , and found that it is useful but also difficult to implement in the meditation. Here is the abbreviated version that I think I can live with it.

1. Breathe deeply to get body and mind in relaxed state. Inhale count to 5, pause count to 5 and exhale count to 5 for 6 to 10 times

2. Focus attention between the eyebrow ( the third eye)

3. Inhale and mentally chant "Hong", exhale and mentally chant "Sau" while focusing on the third eye for the next 10 to 15 minutes

4. Let go and still focus on the third eye, stay calm and quiet for the rest of the meditation.

I found it difficult to stay focus between eyebrow and mentally chant "Hong" "Sau" at the same time. I sometimes abandon the chant and just focus on between the eyebrow.

This morning, I have one hour and forty five minute meditation. It is the longest time I spent in the last month.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

All the Catholic Saints that I have met



I am so delighted that I took up reading the book: "My Life with the Saints" from James Martin SJ. The whole last week that I was off from work I was and still mesmeric by the story and life of the saints that were introduced to me by James.


The book is entertaining, engaging and humorous. I don't have any western religious background, normally I have no desire reading Catholic Saints. Somehow, I was drawn to the book that afternoon while casually browsing on " new book " section on Rowland Height library.

Some of the Saints were not ancient, there were fellows from contemporary nineteenth and twentieth century. Therese of Lisieux and Bernadette Soubirous were from nineteen's century, Thomas Merton early twenties century, Pedro Arrupe and Mother Teresa from mid to late twenties century. I never knew that Catholic church sponsored many programs to help the poor and the underprivileged all over the world.

"Preach the Gospel, use words if necessary" ! It demonstrates that Catholic missionary teaching is action oriented, using thought, speech and action to do good for humanity all around the globe. The Jesuits will travel to Africa, Asia or any troubled spots of the world as part of their spiritual training. I found out surprisingly they are much more open, loving and actively engaging in the world community than the Buddhist monks.

I used to have a very rigid view about Catholic church. Consider the scandals happened in the past of catholic priests, I have stereotyped the catholic churches or similar organization as a powerful political organization that using God as a shield for their worldly gain. By reading this book, I have somewhat broaden my view about catholic church.

All these Saints are alive and well in author's prayer. It is amazing that sometimes the author's prayer was instantaneously answered. I wish I had half of the response rate from my long drawn meditation. I will guess in some way God is discriminative in answering prayer.

I found some of the sayings are very true:

  • For those with faith no explanation is necessary; for those without faith no explanation is sufficient.
  • God write straight with crooked line.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A flight out to beach - A Mind Travel Experience


I got up this morning at 5:00 am and meditated focusing on the third-eye, our spiritual center for about 70 minutes. I then lied down and intended to take a short rest for half an hour. In a short while, there was sensation of separating my etheric body and I floated out of window. I flew to a big tree, looking at massive leaves and I consciously holding on the branches for several seconds just to experience how it felt. I then moved on to a beach like open space. While I was flying, I saw a row of huge orange color rock formation beneath, I reached down of my hand and touched it and indeed it was solid, the next scene I landed in a little town and the scene slowly faded....

When I was back to my senses, I checked the clock, it was only 10 minutes passed before I lied down after the meditation. This would be the first time I intentionally touching the objects while etherically travelled. The sensation was just as real as when I am fully
conscious.

My etheric travel is always short but just having the experience make me really happy.

Monday, June 26, 2006

A change of plan

Not much inner experience happening last weeks or so for me. I attended my niece's wedding on 23rd of June. Seeing so many lively, gorgeous looking young people laughing and dancing I felt refreshed and invigorated by their upbeat, happy spirit.

I had arranged for Yosemite trip with my mother and my sisters after the wedding ceremony. I was fully committed until Friday before the trip that my son told me that he needed to start his full-time job on next Monday. Since then, I was debating whether I should come home with him to lend some psychological support or not.

Saturday night at about 2:00 am I contemplated the situations and I decided to go home with him. I knew it was crazy and I also knew that I would be scorned fast and hard, and others might not be so forgiving for changing the plan without consulting them first. There was no time to inform or consult anyone in the middle of the night and I had to call Southwest Air to see if I can get a seat on the flight of 9:35 am, and I also need to call Yosemite Reservation to see whether or not I need to be present for checking in because I was the one making the reservation. There were whole series of ramifications came with this decision. On top of that, I will make some people very mad. I knew the consequence of this change way before hand, it certainly would be very inconvenient to my family. But at the time, it was the right thing to do.

Thinking that he is going home to an empty house, starting a new job, with psychological and physical problems, I thought I need to be there. It is not a matter of trusting him to do the right thing, it is a matter of support and companionship in time of need.

My family did not go on the Yosemite trip partially due to my change of plan, instead they went to an interesting place like Napa Valley winery. I trust my two sisters can think of something interesting to do and I am sure they will have good time no matter where they go.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Trial of Life

I have hard time quieting and focusing during my meditation, I thought I am losing it. Since November of 2005, I stopped to have any insight and inner experiences during or after meditation. Because my morning meditation is not working so I compensate it by doing it rigorously during lunch hour.

In spite of not having any mystical experience, I am still upbeat, happy and positive as I slowly and deliberately walking my path. As I mentioned on previous posting, I have what most people will agree a nightmarish home life recently due to the accusation and anger toward the decision I made more than 15 years ago. I sympathize other people's suffering, but deep down I know that there is a reason for my playing a villain in someone else life. There were lessons to be learned and karma to be paid. No one escapes the immutable law of cause and effect.

In the midst of these trials and tribulations, I hope I have maintained my poise and dignity. I simply refuse to play a role of victim. I know that I have made a choice long ago that lead to the current state of affair. I am responsible and no one else. I have assimilated Jonathan Parker's teaching in most areas of my life. I have learned the truth and nature of our being. The wisdom, knowledge and experience that I have tugged under my consciousness hopefully will enable me to brave the storm of life graciously.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Challenge

The path to enlightenment is never straight forward. There are times that I have doubt of my meditation. There seems to be nothing happening. I will have some productive sessions, but a lot of time unproductive ones. I long for out of body experiences but they don't come under my will power. And lucid dream is just that an unfulfilled dream.

I have been studying metaphysical sciences, meditating daily, reading many books on like-kind subjects, contemplating my life's issues, receiving challenging karmic situations. It seems that the more that I determine to reach my dream, the more challenging life situations become. May be I have given myself a very tough assignment before my incarnation, but I forgot about it due to the passing of water of forgetfulness.

I am not against challenges. But sometimes I wish I know why things happened the way they did. I fully subscribe to the immutable universal law of cause and effect. I just like to know the causes of what is happening. Many metaphyscial study indicated that by meditating regularly, we are more attuned to akashic record of the universe, therefore past, present and future literally become open books for us. I suspect this is going to take a very long time and with tremendous discipline and effort. I am certainly no where near it at this stage.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Am I dreaming?

"I drove my car around and suddenly I got lost. I didn't know where I was. The street, the buildings that I was in didn't look familiar. What was the date? Did I go to work? What time was it? I asked these questions to myself. I was in a state of great confusion. While I was down the street, I felt like to provoke something but then I hesitate because I was not sure I was really in a dream. The street was crowded with people and cars, and it looked very real to me. I walked and asked a lady whether the street that we were in was Colima Road, she pointed to the street next to it.

I somehow went to bed again. When I got up, I noticed there was another couple sleeping next to my bed. At that moment, I started to realize that I must be in a dream. I tested by getting up and looking at my bedspread. Yep, I was dreaming and starting to wake up."


With all the wishes that I have about lucid dreaming, my mind must have struggled along the conscious and unconscious portion in my dreaming state. I was in a semi-conscious state when I was not sure I was dreaming, but at the same time, I was questioning the validity of the dream content. A paradox indeed!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Oneness with all ?


Ever since I walked this path, I read hundreds of books about the nature of our universe and mankind's ultimate destiny. They basically echoed the same universal thought of our oneness with God and oneness with all beings and all things. I am not challenging these exalted higher wisdom. They might be well and true.

But how in the world can we truly live, think and act that way? I have been meditating for over five years, I have not been able to really bring this philosophy ingrained into my being and live, think and act in accordance with this ageless wisdom.

Just recently, I visited Blockbuster video rental store, a gentleman presented a very good deal from Blockbuster. With about seventeen dollars a month, if I join the online video rental program, I will have a full month membership free and I can rent three videos at a time and unlimited rental. Sounds great! My mind started to calculate how I can take advantage of this deal without ever paying the fees. I can have at least 2nd and 3rd season's "24" series by renting in the first month, copying them and sending them back as fast as I can, and the good deal got better and better in my mind until I stopped myself in the track. "What are you doing ?" I asked myself. "With all the training of metaphysics, don't you realize that when you take advantage of others, you are actually taking advantage of yourself? Where is the notion of oneness with all?"

I admire the exalted ancient wisdom, but for unrealized majority of mankind, it is not an easy task to always live with this ultimate truth. Until we reach a stage of profound inner direct experience of oneness, it would only be an ideal wisdom for us to aspire to.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Intuition

Last night, my son was away from home, visiting his friends in Palm Spring, a two-hour drive. I went to bed about 11:45 pm. In the middle of night, I was about to awake, and thought it was about 5:00 am, my usual time to meditate. Suddenly I heard a female voice calling my Chinese name in my head. I was startled to get up with an uneasy feeling. The voice was crisp clear, and had a sense of urgency. I could not make out who's voice was that, but clearly it was not my son's voice. I felt a bit relieved. I looked at the alarm, it was only 1:45 am. I felt I have slept all night.

About 4:50 am, I got a real phone call from James that he was on the way home. Somehow I sensed that he will come home during the night, I deliberately did not lock the door to our car garage before going to bed.

I remember several years ago, I had what they call, "the beginner's luck". I was in an intense self discovery and self examination mode. Whenever I had some issue with others that I like to resolve, the situation will present itself so that I have the opportunity to talk it over and clear it in my consciousness.

One time, I had a new neighbor just moved in and she did not know our rule of parking the car. Many times she will park the car in a way that whoever parked inside my garage would have difficult time backing it out. I was very patient for a little while. Then one day, I was driving home from work and decided that it was time to clear the situation. At the time I had not even got the chance meeting my new neighbors. The chance had it that, as soon as I approached my front door, I saw my neighbors, a mother and a daughter standing right there talking. Well, it was a golden opportunity for me to welcome them to our neighborhood and clear the parking situation. After that, we have no more parking problem. The amazing thing is that the day that I decided to clear the parking situation, my neighbors will be right there giving me the opportunity to straighten things out. Before that day, I had never saw them, and did not know how they looked like.

A year ago, I was driving home from work, I had a habit of turning on the classic music station 105.1. merrily listening to my music, completely oblivious of the traffic condition. But for some reason, I did not turn on the music that day and naturally I was more alert of my surrounding. I suddenly saw the engine temperature indicator flared up just a little, but then it started to climb. I was a little apprehensive because the traffic condition was impossible for me to stop on the freeway shoulder. I had to drive back home 8 miles, 35 minutes in heavy traffic. Suddenly a thought kicked in. "Turn the heater on to full power so that the heat in the engine can dissipate, that can prevent engine overheat". Somehow I had remembered this tactic that I learned more than 10 years ago. In the middle of blazing summer afternoon, I had my heater on full power and my car escaped the overheat condition. I was able to drive up to
Master Lube garage with the temperature indicator stayed constant in the mid point the whole time. I have my car for 15 years and never have the overheat experience. It is incredible that I remember the advice that I received more than 10 years ago from NPR's radio broadcast of "Car Talk" . In the emergency situation like this, I was able to tap into this piece of knowledge in a nick of time.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

A field of maple leaves in the sky - A Mind Travel experience






Ever since I have been using "Gateway Experience" in my lunch hour meditation, I've tried to incorporate what I have learned in my morning meditation. In the middle of this morning's meditation, I got an inspiration and thought to myself, "why not expand my consciousness from focus 10 to focus 12 and see what happens!"

When I did that, my focus shifted on the space above my head. While it stayed there, I imagined the space encompasses the entire universe. About thirty minutes later, the alarm blared, I terminated meditation and went back to my short recess. While I lied down, I experienced my first astral travel since November of 2005.

I first sensed my consciousness spiral upward and outward toward the space in my room. It was dark and I could not see anything. Then I floated toward my bedroom window out into the sky. I saw a massive field of maple leaves scatter in the sky. I thought to myself that it was too dark. As if the astral world could respond to my thought, the sky started brighten up to a clear blue. I floated in and out of the room several times and gradually the scene faded.

I noticed that the energy field of my etheric body was much denser than what I had experienced. I used to not feel anything when I floated out of the wall or window of my room, but this time I felt a prickly sensation when passing through . The energy density were different between wall and me, hence I felt a slight resistent sensation while I was floating out of it.

Another observation is that the room that I thought I floated in and out was not really my bedroom. It was much larger and I could not identify the similar furnishing as in my real bedroom.

So, where did I travel to, you may ask? There is no maple tree outside of my bedroom window. Since etheric body energy field is in different frequency than a physical one, so the etheric travel is to alternate reality entirely unlike the physical one. I have been many places that I could not identify in my surrounding physical environment while astral travel. Let's just say that this universe of ours is truly a mystery waiting for our exploration and discovery.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Complete nonsense - A dream

"I was working on my computer with many applications open. When I pushed one button, a strange thing happened, one by one each window was closed one after another and then computer shut down by itself. This happened several times, and I suddenly realized that this never happen in real life, I was dreaming. Unfortunately, I woke up at that moment."

Sometime before I fully woke up, I got another strange dream

"I saw a lot of supposedly my coworkers lining up to enter an auditorium. Most of them had a plate of roasted meat on it. They walked in and seated. I did not know there was an event in my company, and I was curious where they got their food. Inside the Auditorium was dark, and every one is anticipating some kind of performance coming up.

But I could not find any familiar faces to ask about food that they had. So, I walked and looked around, then I saw two people engaging in animated discussion of some kind, and they looked somewhat familiar to me so I asked them. One of them told me that food came from the instruction given by the company. Here was the instruction, every one supposed to walk straight out from their house, making a left turn about 10 fts. And right turn for may be another 10 fts, then we should see a shop that made the food that we ordered."

A weird dream indeed! These dreams were perfect for a conscious mind to recognize the strangeness and impossibility of two events. But I failed to recognize them. The dreams were totally making sense to my subconscious mind.

A dream state could be analogous to our after life state. For ordinary people (like me), I had no control of its content and its course of action. I assume, once we shed our physical body, our conscious mind will then be blended into our subconscious mind. Subconscious becomes a commander, we will no longer be able to censor what will be played out. It is very much like a cork in the roaring ocean wave. I used to believe that mastering lucid dream is just a sideline of genuine spirituality. It is unimportant, a distraction to the sure thing. I am not so sure that is true any more. For what I have studied lately, taking control of our dream state is a perfect practice for taking control of our after life when we will be in Astral body.

Am I dreaming?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A Glimpse of The Bhagavad Gita




It is fortunate that I have the opportunity to read "The Bhagavad Gita" translated by Eknath Easwaran . This literary masterpiece is considered the most influential and the most luminous of all the Hindu Scriptures.

In this trying time, I found wisdom and knowledge from the Gita comforting my deep troubled soul. After reading several enlightening chapters, my heart started to open and all the sorrow and grief of the past were replaced by the cheerfulness and a profound sense of calm. I have found refuge in the ancient wisdom of the Gita.

Once more I have been touched and reminded of the truth and divine nature of our existence. In the midst of my own guilt and sorrow I had forgotten what I have learned. I have fallen into the ordinary mind full of shrouded illusions of the world. The true aspirant sees God in everyone and in everything regardless what kind of situation he (she) is in. The Gita emphasis the detachment of emotional roller coaster ride which is typical of people who are ignorant of their grand nature. The Gita instructed us to have no attachment of fruit and outcome of our labor and service. Our job is to perform our duties, fulfill our obligations at the best of our abilities and not to be concerned about the reward or punishment that go with it.

Yes, enjoy the world of illusions but do not get tangled up with its web.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Exploring the concept of free will

We all have been reminded that we have free will when come to making simplest decision from whether to eat hamburger or chicken salad to where do we go for next year's vacation. Metaphysically, the esoteric teaching always said that the choice we made can shape and change our future destiny. It sounds so simple and straight forward, as long as I make a good choice. But the truth is free will is never that innocently simple.

What made of me entirely different than you in temperament, in looks, in attitude, in aptitude, in intellect, likes and dislikes and prejudices actually came from our subconscious mind tirelessly working 24 hours a day behind the closed door. We, as a conscious being really do not have much to say in a grand scheme of things that we call destiny. If we can really choose what we really want to do in any given moment, 99% of our world population will be happy campers, we will be living in a planet of bliss and contentment.

Given the theory or reality of reincarnation in conjunction with our evolutionary path in entire human history, we knew that history of mankind was full of turmoil, conflict, deceit and bloodshed. Honestly, we did not have very glorious past. If history is made out of actions inspired by our collective mind, then our collective past is pretty shady.

There lies the truth of our free will. The free will surfaced in our conscisous mind actually are reflections consist of many past unresolved issues from our imperfect incarnations, our upbringing, our preconceived notion of who we are, and most importantly our self worth and self value. You see, there are may be hundreds of agendas that our subconscious mind keep tabs on. Some are more urgent for the time being so they manifest in our current situation, others are dormant just waiting for the perfect timing to raise its head.

I remember when I first walked the path of my conscious spiritual evolution, for the first three years, I had many beautiful inner world experiences . There seemed to be no issues, everything was working beautifully. I thought I could reach enlightenment in five years.

Then came the crushy dark night of the soul. Suddenly three years ago and still on-going, I am confronted with the consequences of decision I made in earlier life. My failed marriage, my divorce, all the un-foreseen complications due to that single decision surfaced and erupted with an uproar. I have endured and tried to patch things up all along in no avail. Just about two weeks ago, I started to realize that I am living in the midst divine law of Karma in action. Although Karma does not imply any goodness or badness, but one still needs to take the consequence either way.

All the complications that came with the decision that I made fifteen years ago were not apparent to me. I was not deliberately set things up in any particular way, but it ended up hurting other people in ways that I would have reversed the course in a heart beat if the consequences were known to me. The past is alive and well, living deep within my psyche and just waiting the right moment to uprise. Is there any indication of my free will in charge here?

What I am experiencing is the stored-up past actions catching up with me which was dormant for the last fifteen years, yes, it is the law of Karma thrusting right in front of my face. There were times that all hell broke loose, and there was not even a tiny speck of light at the end of the tunnel. Fortunately, time passes, life moves on. A roaring wave receded, but deep down I know there are many crushy waves are coming. It will be over when it is over.

On the other hand, if I expand my perspective of life to chart a course of all of my incarnations, I might see a graph that is rising and falling ever so slightly life after life. The rising could be inconceivable in one span of time, then it could be conspicuous in a time frame of thousands of years. Our evolution is rising and dipping like a stock chart. As a chartist usually loves to ask, what is the trend?

Thursday, April 27, 2006

My hero teammates - A Dream

"I lived in a beautiful quarter with several national heroes. My impression was that these heroes were not very well liked by established authority. I suddenly heard a helicopter hovering in the air above our living quarter. The helicopter was dispatched by government. The tactics of the helicopter was to use the loud and whirling sound to break down the coherent structure of light saber and our high tech equipment.

After a while, the heroes could not stand the noise and ready to take the matter to their own hand. I saw several of my teammates rode on a very well equipped motorcycle with light saber stretching. The motorcycles can be airborne, they flew out of the window of our living quarter and battled with the helicopter in the sky. The motorcycle was glittering under the sun light and light saber was pretty cool looking, a glowing white. Then came the next scene, the battle was won, and I was ready to go out and celebrate our victory with those heroes. My neighbor helped me pick a dress and they also appraised of my staying with those brave men. But I am not sure what was my relationship with those men. I also did not have any impression of how they looked like. The detail is fuzzy....."

When I woke up, only 15-minute has passed after my lying down at 6:30 AM.

Dream is like morning dew, as soon as sun rises, it disappears in an instant!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Death - A Tarot Card of Postive Transformation?

I have read another article about lucid dreaming, and I am quite motivated and started my affirmation almost whole day whenever I have some quite moment.

This evening, I ask the possibility of having lucid dreaming experience, I drew a "Death" Tarot card. The Tarot card of "Death" is quite interesting. It usually does not signify real physical death. It is more like a transition from known to unknown, from one closed door to a new opportunity. Metaphysically speaking, "Death" Tarot card is quite positive. It is like cocoon's transformation to a butterfly, a beautiful rebirth.

If I interprete death card correctly, then it can mean a new era of my consciousness expansion.


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“Dreams are a reservoir of knowledge and experience, yet they are often overlooked as a vehicle for exploring reality. In the dream state our bodies are at rest, yet we see and hear, move about, and even able to learn. When we make good used of the dream state, it is almost as if our lives were doubled: instead of a hundred years, we live two hundred.”
-Tibetan Buddhist Tarthang Tulku.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Our Ultimate Reality - astral travel - Adrian Cooper

I miss dearly of my etheric travel experiences that I had just six months ago. I decided to work on two types of meditation so that I can continue the astral travel experience and consciousness expansion.

My morning meditation is conventional silent one, no elctronic gadget engaged, the aim is to reach complete stillness so that the magic presence of God can reveal itself. My lunch hour meditation is short, "The Gateway Experience" is perfect for that purpose. I tried several sessions last weekend, they are about 30 to 45 minutes long. Within this short time frame, an altered state of consciousness can be reached due to the inner technology of Hemi-Sync.

The following article is from Adrian's "Our Ultimate Reality" astral travel session. It summed up the benefits of astral travel experience.

1. Greater awareness of the true nature of "reality". People who experience an existence beyond the confines of the physical body are plain and simple transformed forever. The world today in this divisive and chaotic state is due largely to the fact that most people focus on and believe that the physical world is the only reality, have only one opportunity to "live", and are determined to make the most of it at all costs. It is the "at all costs" aspect that is particularly damaging and continues to be so.

2. Astral Projection is a means by which anyone can personally verify their own immortal, Spiritual, indestructible nature. Having experienced life separate from the physical body, the projector is left in no doubt about the continuity of life after the event erroneously known as "death", and as a result of which the fear of "death" disappears forever.


3. Following on from the above, people immediately understand that the process known as "death" is actually an amazing, profound, glorious Spiritual adventure, and one to look forward to rather than to dread. Of course it is always important to keep in mind that we are all, every one of us here for a purpose, and it is our duty to fulfill that purpose. Failure to do so means a missed opportunity and often the need to return to "get it right" next time.

4. Increasing desire for knowledge. Once you realize that this planet Earth is but a tiny aspect of the life and of the Universe, there is an all consuming desire to learn more, and that desire alone will cause the Universe to respond to that desire.

5. Increased Psychic abilities. Out of Body experiences almost always activate a psychic abilities such as clairvoyance, ESP etc..

6. Power of Healing: While out of body healing potential and abilities are enhanced dramatically and many things become possible that might be regarded as "miraculous". As we know from previous newsletters all ailments, dis-eases, illnesses etc. originate from the inner Energy levels of our Being. The outer, physical shell is merely an observable reflection of those dis-eases. Out of body the origins of the dis-ease can be observed and cured by the powers of the Mind alone.

7. Powers of the Mind and The Law of Attraction: This benefit is extremely important! We have discussed at length how we all create our own reality by our predominant thoughts. To many people who have not been able to verify this absolutely immutable Universal reality it can be difficult to grasp. However, due to the much higher levels of vibration and correspondingly lower density of Energy levels beyond the physical world, we can actually observe our thoughts taking shape, leaving us in no doubt about this process. We can actually observe that the more we focus on something the more "tangible" it becomes. Due to the high density and low vibration of the physical world this process can take more effort and a longer time to achieve, but the important thing to remember is that there is only one set of Universal Laws, and if it
applies to Energy levels beyond the physical, then it must also apply to the physical itself. Knowing this means more freedom and the ability to create our own reality as any doubts about the truth of The Law of Attraction and creating reality with our thoughts are erased forever.

8. Much enhanced rates of personal evolution. Having experienced, at first hand the truth of our own Spiritual nature, and knowing, beyond all doubt that everything we have learned in theory is also true in practice, then any doubts are cast aside and we become free to evolve at a much greater rate. We become free, or as the saying goes: "and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". Make absolutely no mistake on this; the truth will set you free!

9. Meeting with "deceased" people. Yes; this is a big issue! Out of body we are free to travel anywhere within the personal limits of our personal evolutionary vibration which is a function or our individual state of evolution or "Spiritual perfection". This means that we can usually visit anyone who has previously made the transition simply by thinking about them and being in their presence. During such meetings we can obtain facts that only the "deceased" person will know, and subsequently verify it upon returning to the physical body. This alone provided considerable comfort to many, knowing that their loved ones, having passed over are "alive", well and happier than ever they were on Earth. And yes, you can indeed also meet with other "projectors", regardless of their physical location on Earth, and enjoy Astral activities together, or simply as a way of saving your plane fare!

10. Respect for all Life. This is something I discuss at length in Our Ultimate Reality because it really is so important. When out of body the truth of the Universe and all Life is absolutely beyond all doubt. No longer do we view human beings as being "special" in some way. We know that we are not the "chosen ones" selected by "God" to "rule" the Earth at the expense of all other life forms. We know, beyond any possible doubt that we are an equal aspect of the Universe, of All that Is". Just because life manifests in different forms on Earth, each with unique abilities, does not mean that one life form is any less important than any other; we differ
only in abilities and individual purpose. We know, beyond any doubt that there is no such thing as separation. Everything is an aspect of everything else and in turn of the Universe, of "God", and whatever we do to any aspect of the Universe we equally do to ourselves. This is an important aspect of "karma" which is in turn an aspect of the great Universal law of "cause and effect" from which there is no escape. Plain and simple; treat any other life form, Being or any other Energy configuration badly, and there will always be a price to pay. This is not some form of Divine retribution but rather the straightforward workings of immutable Universal Laws which are observable when out of body.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Crying - A Dream

I was in some kind of warehouse or a factory. The factory was structured in different levels and sections, each section with different operation. I was there to tally and record measurement of some kind for more than 10 years operational result. I encountered some unusual cases, and I got not very conventional answer, but I was pretty sure about my finding. I somehow conveyed this finding to my boss in a tone that he did not like.

The next scene was disturbing. I sat in front of him, and he was crying furiously and wiping his tears continuously. He was contemplating to reprimand my alleged bad attitude. I recognized there were other co-workers present while the proceeding. I sensed that he needed support form other people that was why they were there. While things were happening, I just sat there emotionless. I knew I was in trouble and he was the boss, but then I just stared at him without saying anything. I could not sense what I was thinking or why I was behaving so strangely. Given a normal situation with my personality, I would have apologized profusely.

Next thing I knew, I was ready to leave this place, but had trouble finding my car. I remember parking my car next to a cafeteria, but it wasn't there. I went section after section throughout whole factory, I still could not locate my car. Then suddenly the whole factory became a rock climbing facility. I saw the steep column of rocks arranged like a big wall....

The dream faded and I awoke with uneasy feeling, especially the image of boss crying.

Monday, April 10, 2006

One kind of meditative experience

From several morning's meditation, I experienced a sense of relaxed energy seemed to flow around my head area and extended to my entire being. It seemed that every molecule, every atom of my being is totally shrouded in a mist of healing energy. I now understand why I do not need a lot of sleep, because meditation is a very relaxed practice for the mind, body and soul.

According to some article from health conscious magazine, regular meditation can prolong the life of our 10 billion cells by temporary withdrawal the life force energy and by reducing wear and tear of biological decay of cells. When I experience this relaxed energy, it feels like a blanket of white cloud swirling around. The sensation is just wonderful, and in a sense it is intoxicating (I borrowed this term from Autobiography of a Yogi).

This morning without using alarm, I got up 3:00 am doing my meditation until about 4:50 am, that was almost 2 hour's meditation. I then got back to sleep, and after that, I did not really fall asleep. It felt like I was meditating while lying down, the shrouded relaxing energy continue floating in my body. When the time to get up about 6:45 am, I was ready for the day.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Tarot Card

I have trouble following guided meditation from my Metaphysical Science study. Actually I have hard time even listening to Jonathan Parker's guided meditation when just a year ago I was absolutely enchanted with those meditations. Is there a change of heart? I am so used to the tranquility of silence that I find any guided words are disrupting and unnecessary. Stillness and silence are where we can commune with our inner self.

Lately, I have rekindled the habit of consulting Tarot card for my daily inspiration. My strongest spiritual tendency is Prophecy ( if I ever have one). People with spiritual gift of prophecy knows what they know without any physical sensation associated with the knowing. It is kind of like illumination out of blue. You just know, and don't know how you know it. Often times, I will have doubt of what I know. I am just not 100% sure of what should be done. Occasional Tarot card consulting changes everything.

In my Metaphysical Science study, there is a section of Divination presenting Tarot Card. I own a set a few years back, I remember I had a sense of fear when dealing with these cards. I did not have metaphysical background at the time. Much of divination, psychi abilities and any sort of metaphysical phenomenon would seem mysterious and fearful to me. Now that I have four or five years metaphysical study and meditation tugged in my consciousness, I am able to deal with these cards with confidence. Knowing that this is a divination tool very ancient indeed and can be traced back for thousands of years. The power of Tarot card can be tapped with proper understanding.

Tarot Card actually helps me strengthen my resolve when I have a mission or commitment to make. It brings my intangible resolution to a concrete confirmation that I desperately need at the time. Several times during the week, when I knew what was right, but since I didn't have any guide to validate what I was about to do, I looked up the tarot card after my prayer of inspiration, it provided confirmation of what I already knew to be the right thing to do. I was able to impart my knowledge with great confidence. It is not superstitious like some might think, it is just one of the tools that can help us know ourselves better.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Shadow Self - A Dream Reflection

It has been a long time that I did not remember my dream. My daily routine is getting up 5:00 am, meditate one and half hours, relax about ten to fifteen minutes and start morning preparation going to work.

This morning's routine was not much different except, I relaxed a full thirty minutes. When I woke up, I was able to remember some part of my dream.

"My sister and I met in a restaurant, and she was expecting to meet her long time friend, a Falun Gong member. When she arrived, they exchanged gifts of image of deity, religious figure that I am somewhat familiar with. The figure of deity is made out of either ceramic or hard cardboard. They are to be hung or put on the table for worship. Strange thing was that I was silent throughout dinner. I did not say much and was uncomfortable of my own behavior of having nothing to say. I also sensed my companion's discomfort of my lack of response and little conversation. Before leaving the dinner, I searched for waiter and asked him for a bowl of water; I explained to him that I needed a bowl of water to wash my face. Of course before I get to the water, I was awoke and suddenly realized that I have over slept."

During the last two days, I have just studied the course of "Metaphysical Sciences" about shadow self, the part of selves that we do not like, the part that we feel ashamed of. We usually are not consciously aware of the shadow self, they are dormant and buried deep into of our psyche. I am wondering during the dream I might have experienced a part of my shadow self. I remember that I felt extremely uncomfortable of my strange behavior but also felt that I couldn't do much about it.

The other element of my dream was a bowl of water that I requested from restaurant waiter so that I can clean my face. Perhaps I still put a lot of emphasis on my appearance even though my years of metaphyscial study should indicate that I do not dwell too much on appearance alone. But in the dream I felt that I need to take care of my face so that I will look presentable in any circumstance. Apparently there is a great concern of how I present myself in a subconscious level, and it has a sense of insecurity if I don't keep a tab on it.

I wish I was lucid in that dream. The dream was like many dreams that I had in the past, my logical mind was completely turned off, nothing that happened was out of ordinary. I went along with the odd scenario, oblivious that I was in the illusory state of mind.

Do I know myself?

Later on, I drew a tarot card, it was "Seven of Swords".

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Journey Begins

I got the first six courses and eleven meditations from University of Metaphysical Sciences. The first course is World Religions. I am not particularly interested in religion, but ever since the existence of mankind, religion plays a very important role in humanity's searching for meaning and truth of life, therefore the knowledge of origin and evolution of world religions is essential for understanding how we, as a species, evolve consciously and spiritually.

After started reading the materials, I found out that there are so much that I don't know and don't remember. For instance, I supposed to be familiar with Buddhism, but truly I only know a fraction of it's essential teachings.

The other day, I tried meditation CD during lunch hour, the music and the voice was so beautiful and relaxing, I lost track of time. In the midst of meditation, suddenly I realized that I was taking my lunch time. By that time, I have already listened about fifty minutes of guided meditation. I have taken one and half hour lunch that day.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

A Meditational Ritual


I have so much trouble stilling my mind while meditatng. I feel that I am going ten steps backward from my progress. I sense that if I just plunge myself ino meditation without preparatory work, I will end up fighting and clearing the cobweb and all intruding thoughts. The precious time that I spend will be unproductive.

I now set a clearing process for meditation.

  1. Say a prayer - Dear God, my Higher Self and my spiritual guides, please help me still my mind so that the magic presence of God will reveal itself to me.
  2. Resonent tuning on "OM" sound 7 times while exhaling on deep breath. The humming of "Om" sound raises the frequency and vibration.
  3. Imagine the golden light energy from my Higher Self descending down from heaven, entering in Crown Chakra, and gradually permeate every cell, every atom of my being. The light now expands, radiates out 10-ft. all around for the duration of the meditation. The golden light is to protect and repel external undesirable influences, and it purifies entire being so that I am ready to meet my guides, converse with Higher Self, and be one with God.
  4. Affirmation - I am the infinite universal consciousness, infinite in love, infinite in wisdom and knowledge, infinite in abundance and prosperity. Be still and know I am God.
  5. Relaxing every muscle of body, gradually move the focus of relaxation from toe to head and reach a state of "body comfortably at sleep, mind fully awake and aware".
  6. Stay silent for the duration of meditation about one and half hours.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

A triumph for all

Over the past 2 and 1/2 months, I was working on trying to settle Newmans Own account.

We started with having disagreement with physical inventory count at the end of Dec 31. Then we have discrepancy on sales and cash receipts. I took their every request with a sincere intention to help and to resolve. I meticulously laid out the detail of my analysis in a way that was easier for them to understand. I radiated good will every step of the way. Sometimes their request could take quite sometime for me to accomplish, but I did it with no complaint. I work only toward a common good among people. I was very proud of myself, I believe God within me will be proud too.

Finally, all the good intentions paid off. I got an email from Newmans Own on last Friday. Joan Williams in Newmans Own agreed with our inventory value, agreed that we overpaid them $72,000 due to no fault of anyone but our programming error. An adversity turns into opportunity for future cordial business relationship.

I believe what happened is that I am able to accommodate other people . Knowing what I know, I have completely turned away from the conventional business dealing of winning and losing. I saw people in Newmans Own trying to do their very best from their business perspective. The only way to play fair is honestly assessing the situation and helping them see the truth with irrefutable data. I am happy with the outcome. The situation is resolved with good will beautifully established among all of us making it possible for further successful partnership.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Getting a Ph. D. In Metaphysical Sciences

I have enrolled the Ph. D. program in the University of Metaphysical Sciences. It is time for me to work on organized and disciplinary higher knowledge learning.

I have worked on many programs, read many books, I have bits and pieces of broad knowledge and direct experiences from meditation to astral travel, but I feel that I need a more structured learning.

In this day and age, a higher degree or credential is a must if one wants to establish oneself in the field of metaphysics. I have done research about several distant learning schools, the University of Metaphysical Sciences is by far the best and the most affordable. The curriculum are very well rounded, covering many topics that I like to gain in-depth knowledge. I read several sample courses and know the courses will be in attunement with my five years exploration of human consciousness. I am happy to have taken that initiative, and very excited about the study.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Revisit Jonathan Parker' Enlightenment Series Program

I have not read many books that are really inspiring lately, so I decided to revisit Jonathan Parker's tape program that set me on the path five years ago. I tell you what! It is still awesome! I am planning to listen to the program while commuting to and from work, and I will use forty five minutes of my lunch hour to work on the meditation that usually followed the lecture.

Today, I listened to the topic of space and time. I found this topic very difficult to understand if I view it from our physical point of aspect. Dr.
Jonathan Parker elegantly explained the concept in a non-technical fashion.

In a nutshell, space and time is a human construct based on our limited experience and understanding of true nature of our universe(s). But when we reach expansive awareness of other realities and dimensions, we then are able to understand that past, present and future practically exist simultaneously in higher plane of existence.

I remember several years ago I had a conversation with a lady who is able to psychically attuned to other people's energy field. I mentioned to her that I like to accomplish highest level of consciousness this life time. She replied that if I thought a lifetime was a long time then thought again, a lifetime was only a blink of an eye in eternity.

At that time, I didn't really appreciate the fact that my hard working life is only a blink of an eye, if it is true then all my suffering and my sacrifice will amount to very little in the scheme of thing of what we call eternity. Later on, I realized that if that is true then all the suffering, misery, pain that a lot of people have to endure in our life time is only a blink of an eye. Well, if I can endure a blink of an eye of suffering and enjoy eternity of happiness then I think we have a bargin.

Well, I have just sidetracked of the topic of space and time, but it is comforting to know that in reality all seeming tragedy, happiness, wealth or poverty are only learning tools that help us get back to our state of pure glorious being.

Friday, March 03, 2006

A truly grand production - The Living


I don't have much insight from my meditative practice. Lately I can't even remember my dream when I wake up in the morning.

Good and deep meditation is not easy to attain. Sometimes I set out to have great expectation for a good session, but I ended up abandon it after half an hour's sitting. But other times, I will have total expansion of my being with not even a thread of thought. At those moment, the inner mind was blank, expansive, a sense of sweetness floated around my forehead; a rare moment indeed!

I started to contemplate of how to increase the effectiveness of meditation. One of the technique is to focus on the area between the eyebrows, the spiritual third eye, the other ones I use often are to listen to our inner sound or to focus on our inhale and exhale of our breath, yet another is just don't focus on anything at all.

I found that the eyebrows and inner sound focus can help cultivate concentration ability, but ultimately the goal is to focus on nothing. So, I started to focus on nothing. Why bother with other methods when there is a sure way to heaven? But the fact is it is difficult not to think of anything. Given our daily encounter of many mundane, unenlightened people and situations ( including myself), and the fact that our livelihood are dependent on it made it difficult to ignore these nuisance.

That is where Jonathan Parker's "Enlightenment Series" teaching is so effective. The nuisance, the inconvenience, the interference, the quarrel between people, the jealousy display among colleague, the stress on the job, the argument among family members are vehicles that our higher self use to strengthen our integrity and our character. It is a drama of life consented by us, scripted and directed by our higher self, and we play a starring role with supporting actors and actresses being our family members, our co-workers, long time friends and even casual acquaintances. All things, all people work together for the good of all. It is truly a grand production that in some cases even movie will be pale in comparison of its intrigues and synchronicity of the unfolding events.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Cosmic Consciousness: a study in the evolution of the human mind. Richard M. Bucke


All at once, without warning of any kind, he found himself wrapped around as it were by a flame colored cloud. For an instant he thought of fire, some sudden conflagration in the great city, the next he knew that the light was within himself. Directly afterwards came upon him a sense of exultation, of immense joyousness accompanied or immediately followed by an intellectual illumination quite impossible to describe. Into his brain streamed one momentary lightning-flash of Brahmic Splendor which has ever since lightened his life; upon his heart fell one drop of Brahmic Bliss, leaving thenceforward for always an after taste of heaven. Among other things he did not come to believe, he saw and knew that the Cosmos is not dead matter but a living Presence, that the soul of man is immortal, that the universe is so built and ordered that without any peradventure all things work together for the good of each and all, that the foundation principle of the world is what we call love and that the happiness of everyone is in the long run absolutely certain. He claimed that he learned more within the few seconds during which the illumination lasted than in previous months or even years of study, and that he learned much that no study could ever have taught.

Life's challenges never end


I found myself being challenged again and again with various circumstances and with different people at work. Well, where else will be? Perhaps I should be cheerfully said, "Why not me?" I am just lucky to be situated in this school of hard knock. I then remember what Jonathan Parker said about situations and circumstances were specifically created for our benefits. Our enemy is not truly our enemy. They were just assigned by the divine to play a role of villain in our stage play. We should thank them for they were kind enough and brave enough to play such an unpopular role.

Seven weeks ago the saga just started when we had negotiated a different contract with a customer. Alas! things were never that simple. A goodwill gesture turned into a tug of war. A war about money, a war about ego. Essentially, our ordinary existence is to protect, nourish and enlarge our ego consciousness. Hence, the saga continues.....

Sunday, February 19, 2006

An initiation - Our Ultimate Reality (Adrian Cooper)

Every single experience, positive, negative or indifferent happens for a reason, and in full knowledge of your Higher-Self. Each such experience is an opportunity to make progress towards a full initiatic experience and should be joyfully accepted as such without complaint, taking it personally and above all without blaming others.

Every single situation was known and chosen before we incarnated for its value in our ultimate evolution. If we fail the initiation then we have to experience similar circumstances over again until we finally pass the initiation which in some cases might take many "lifetimes". Therefore we must look closely at every event, however insignificant, dire or indeed joyful it might seem and ask ourselves these simple but important questions:

1) What does this event mean?

2) Why has it "happened" at this particular time?

3) What must I do to accept this situation, learn from it and never have to face it again?

In asking these questions and facing every situation we are presented with, however large or small, "good" or "evil", horrific or joyous, we can face the situation with total confidence and
ultimately prevail, thus attaining an important initiation towards our ongoing evolution.

Important points to keep in mind are:

1) There is no such thing as "chance". Everything happens for a reason.

2) Everything that happens to us we chose and knew before we incarnated.

3) We are never, ever, ever presented with a situation that is beyond our current ability to prevail. No harm can come to us.

In knowing, understanding and living our lives accordingly we can not only save ourselves considerable suffering, we can also save ourselves potentially many physical incarnations, because whatever a person fails to achieve in a current lifetime they will need to return again to pass that initiation in a further lifetime.

This is also a solution to the secret of "alchemy". The legend of the transmutation of base metals into gold is actually symbolic of the process of the transmutation of our base characteristics into the gold of perfection. The biblical fable of the turning "water into wine" is exactly the same process and meaning.

Knowing these important facts we can face life joyfully and with confidence, being thankful for every situation we are presented with as an opportunity to progress, in the knowledge that we are never presented with a situation that is beyond our capability, and above all no harm can ever come to us.

From Ultimate Reality Newsletter -Adrian Cooper

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Change hour of my morning meditation

I have started since yesterday to move meditation hour from 5:00 am to 4:00 am. Incredibly, I do not feel any adverse effect even though I have just slept only 4 hours last two days. My energy is good and I do not seem to feel I miss any sleep.

Given such a short experiment, it can not prove that meditation is better than sleep in terms of relaxation and revitalizing of body and mind. I did find myself being restless after an hour and 45 minites' sitting, and my lower back was also bothering me. Well, we are a creature of habit, if we do something out of our comfort zone then our body or our mind will certainly let us know. The key is to expand our comfort zone gradually , then one day we will operate in a whole new level.

Jonathan Parker, my teacher, is the founder of Quantum Quest International. He practiced meditation every day between 3 to 8 hours for three years. He said that in that three years, all that he experienced was blank screen and nothing else. It was through determination and perseverance that he has reached the summit of great God Consciousness. In retrospection, I started to realize that I have not committed myself hard enough and long enough for the attainment of my objective. Anything worthwhile to achieve will require dedication and persistence for as long as it takes, even if it takes many lifetimes. I am all for it.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Meditative effect


I don't know if there is any reference about intoxicating feeling in meditation either in book or in Internet. So far, I could not find any information that can describe what I have felt while meditating. I first heard and read in "Autobiography of a Yogi" referring a deeper meditative sensation as "intoxicating".

I personally have not used any substance or gotten drunk for that matter, I certainly did not have experience of being intoxicated. I suspect the feeling can be somewhat similar to the blissful feeling in many of our extraordinary experiences when we are so focused, time seems to stop, and we are "in the zone". I remember when I read the book "Disapperance of Universe", there is a section of conversation mentioning the bliss of communion with the cosmic consciousness as thousands times more profound than anything we will experience in our normal life. I reckon my experience is not as fantastic, it is may be miniscule in proportion.

The reason I want to explore this subject is that no one has mentioned about that level of experience in definitive term. I heard and read about benefit of long-term meditation. It is well established that regular, deep meditation relaxes body, mind and spirit, even more astounding is that regular meditator can retard aging process due to the profound effect on some of the hormone producing glands. It is like having a second wing. Well, speaking of second wing, it is due to regular practice that I had many wonderful conscious astral travel experiences. To be true to my intention, I use meditation as a means for my spiritual advancement, I am not too concerned about my physical well being. Having understood the true nature of our existence, I have come to realize that the physical aspect of self is insignificant in comparison of our grander multi-dimensional self.

Last several months, I have not had single astral travel experience even though I have meditated in earnest, one and a half hours in the morning and forty five minutes during lunch hour. I surely missed it. I can understand that with the current level of my development, I simply have no control over the frequency of its occurence. I will learn what I need to learn at any given moment, and the knowledge and wisdom will unfold and reveal to me at its natural course. I can not expedite the process. There is time for everything.