Remembering James

Hi Auntie,

I just wanted to reach out to you this time of year to let you know that James and our great memories about him have not been forgotten. I think about him frequently and his unique personality and passionate world views.

In my field of work, so many things remind me of him -- his ability to produce complex, creative designs and think critically about how things can be built and engineered better. Back in 2010, I shared meaningful conversation with him over dinner one night. Him and I bickered a lot as children but in our older age, we discovered that we have a lot in common and shared many similar views, even bounced some ideas off one another. We had many laughs that night too.

James always had an intelligent, quick-witted, dark sense of humor that made him deeply comical and brilliant. Those memories of him will never ever be forgotten and, as family, he will have a place in all of our hearts forever.

Most Sincerely,
Frances

The Game of Life
Life is a game of forgetting and remembering.

You are losing the game when you... forget who you are and what you are doing here, remember the false things of the past and what they did to you.

You are winning the game when you... remember your true identity of peace, remember God who is always peaceful and has unconditional love for you, forget troubles of the past and move forward with the lessons learned.

Observe what you remember during the day and what you forget during the day. Forget the past, it is gone. Don't worry about the future. You do not know it. Learn to live in the present and discover how full it is of peaceful moments.

- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

NOTES:
- Rates of suicide in America are on the rise. These numbers are disproportionately high in the Asian American community, where traditionally there has been a strong stigma against speaking out about mental health issues. If you or someone you know needs help, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

---From Jame's cousin Amy Chen

In Memory of James Wu (1983 - 2011)

To James:


You claimed you will be happier in other world.

May it be--as you wished.

Most earnestly:

May you be happy, at peace

At your new existence,

In your brand new identity.

May the new world under your command

As easy as bending your finger.

May your brand new world listens

when you are in deep thoughts,

rejoices when you laugh.

weeps when

you cries.

James:

Yes, you can have your way.

I, your auntie, would rather

You have your way

If that makes

You happy

Even though

The mention of James

Will always brings about

Tears, to no end…

Be your own King,

Your own world maker,

Your own magician,

Your own comedian.

Flip your finger,

Roll your eyes,

The new world is waiting to serve you.

Just send a thought,

They’ll execute the rest,

Easy as that.

Before I forget:

close your eyes,

And feels this:

A warm pink and white light

Wrapping around you.

You may not sense this before.

But it has always be with you.


- by Ming-Zhi Yang, James' Auntie, New Jersey

Wings to Fly
You are a courageous soul who recognises that whatever you face will become the wings with which to fly.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Keep It Simple
To be simple means to be completely pure: to have royalty and greatness whilst being ordinary.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Send Peace
The call of time is to send thoughts of peace and power to the world.
Your thoughts travel, moving at a great speed and with considerable impact.
Let the thought of peace sit in your mind, knowing that the vibes from your thoughts can radiate out and touch any person, any place.



- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

As you Travel on through life, brother, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut and not upon the hole



--Anonymous

Spiritual Progress
There is benefit for you in every situation. If, that is, you know how to look for it. The idea behind steady spiritual progress is to see every circumstance and situation (particularly those that challenge you) as a tailor-made lesson in your personal plan for self-development.

For example, in a situation where hurtful or angry words were exchanged, why not see it as the chance either to perceive things about your own character which need changing or to rehearse some virtue or quality that you need to put into practice more often?

Actually, we should be grateful for the opportunity to evaluate ourselves. In this way you can transform anything into a constructive lesson. Never think that you've learned enough and now can stop. You should love it when people try to correct you or give you advice. It keeps you alert and gives you plenty of opportunity to put your truth into practice.

It's a sign of great danger to be unable to accept criticism and instead use your understanding to criticise others. Realise deeply the significance of every moment, and your spiritual progress will be assured.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Power Of Blessings
The power of blessings changes the fire of adverse situations into water.





- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Every Action Is Recorded
As you do, so you become. Every action that you perform is recorded in you, the soul. These imprints ultimately mould your character and destiny. When you understand this principle, you will pay more attention to bringing your best to everything you do.





- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Even Greater to Forgive
It is one thing to tolerate someone's mistake. It is something even greater to forgive the mistake.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Happiness
I open my eyes to the wonder of being. Delighted in the way things turn out, amazed at the beauty of it all. I am happy.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Self Mastery
Within each one of us there is a master of the universe. Not the universe out there but the inner universe of our thoughts and feelings, attitudes and actions. Most people realise too late what awaits within and how valuable it is. For too long we allow ourselves to be distracted and bewitched by all that is happening outside. To be the master of your inner world is to be the master of your own destiny.





- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Your Vision
When someone's feeling low, you can help them restore their self-belief by keeping a firm, clear vision of their goodness and what makes them special.

Increase their self value by letting your vision be drawn to the diamonds (their specialities), rather than any stones (their defects).

Take a gentle encouraging approach and never give up on anyone.





- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Going Deep
Just as the highest tower needs a deep foundation, so too our higher thinking is based on going deep within.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Independent Observer
Peace ends when you are emotionally involved in a situation. The practice of being an independent observer helps you stay stable and calm. It is the best way to approach a decision in any circumstance.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Are YOU Communicating Effectively?

Life is relationship and the quality of our relationships will be hugely influenced if not defined by the quality of our communication. Relationship is an exchange of energy, so our communication with others takes place at many ‘energetic levels’ – physical, mental and spiritual being the main three. Communicating effectively whereby we don’t just send the other a message but where we build, nurture, empower and nourish the relationship itself is helped with an awareness of the main principles of relational communication.

The Principle of Right Attitude

Our attitude is the foundation upon which our communication with others will be built. Attitude begins with the first thought that we create the moment that we awaken in the morning. Is that thought an ‘I have to’ thought or an ‘I want to’ thought? For many of us, whose workplace is the first destination after breakfast, it can be easy and somewhat habitual to create the ‘I have to get up and go to work’ thought. In so doing we create an attitude of reluctance signaled by a definite absence of enthusiasm. In fact we have not yet realized that anytime we say we ‘have to’ to do anything we are, in that moment, living our life reluctantly. If a day of working with others is met with reluctance then every exchange throughout that day, even those with whom we like to talk, will be permeated with our ‘have to’ attitude.

Some however, awaken with and meet the day with a ‘want to’ thought that can be encapsulated with one word… YES! When daily life begins with a YES even those whom we may prefer not to connect with will be on the receiving end of an enthusiastic and energizing attitude. So are you beginning the day with a reluctant ‘have to’ or an enthusiastic ‘want to’ attitude? It’s our first and probably most significant choice of our entire day. Are you YESING people in your communication or are NOING people in your exchange of energy.

The Principle of Reciprocity

We all seem to intuitively recognize the saying ‘what you send out is what you get back’ or what goes around comes around. Yet we often miss its significance in our day-to-day relationships. If someone is throwing negative and grumpy energy at us through their communication there is a good chance that we may be getting our own back. An awareness of this ‘principle of reciprocity’, sometimes known as the law of cause and effect, helps us to diagnose the state of any relationship. It means that if we are on the receiving end of another’s negativity we first check to see if, in our history with that person, there were any moments when we gave them negative or grumpy energy. If we value the creation of a harmonious and positive atmosphere then we will start to ensure that we end any negative reciprocity from our side, knowing that whatever we do send to the other will eventually return. We may however need to be patient!

This is where leadership emerges in all relationships. ‘Relationship’ is the dance of life and as the old saying goes it ‘takes two to tango’. Every dance has a leader and the leader sets the tone by establishing the level and quality of the exchange. The leader can receive the negativity of the other and, even when it’s ‘personal’, they have the capacity to return a positive energy thereby ensuring any cyclical process of negative exchanges is either broken or simply not established. Needless to say the underlying attitude of a leader is not a ‘have to’ but a very definite ‘want to’. The leader’s mantra is always YES!

The Principle of Respect

Prior to attitude and even prior to the understanding of reciprocity is the very ground on which every relationship stands or falls – respect. Perhaps the most common mistake made in almost all relationships is when we expect to get respect. And as soon as we sense that we are not being respected we become grumpy and send out the energy of anger and then wonder why the ‘other’ sends the anger back or builds a barrier around their heart. And when any anger or the subtle face of anger, which is resentment, is present there is an absence of respect and therefore almost no relationship.

It doesn’t help when we assimilate the beliefs that others have to earn our respect and that others can lose our respect and vice versa. We forget that everyone is worthy of respect because everyone is a worthwhile person. We forget that to give respect is simply to affirm the innate goodness and worth of the other and no matter what they may ‘do’ they never lose that goodness and worthiness. They only lose their awareness of it. Those who know the secret of relationship building know that when unconditional respect is giving it helps to lift the other out of any lack of self respect as well as take the relationship and therefore the communication to new heights.

The Principle of Self Responsibility

Each of these three principles is underpinned by the awareness of our personal responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings. Only when we stop projecting our ‘feeling states’ onto others i.e. mistakenly believe they are responsible for our feelings, can we maintain our respect for others. Only then can we create and radiate the highest quality of ‘attitudinal energy’ into our relationships through our words and actions. Knowing that it must come back!

An keen awareness of the power of our attitude, an understanding of the law of reciprocity, the unfailing ability to transmit unconditional respect and the absolute truth of our self responsibility all lie at the heart of relationship building and therefore the art of effective communication. They are prior to all communications skills, techniques and methods regardless of how slick and streamlined those skills may be. As the old saying goes it’s not what you say but how you say it, it’s not what you do but how you do it that will bear the sweetest fruit in the dance of life and living that we know as relationship.

Question: Which of the above principles do you notice needs to be strengthened in your relationships in general?

Reflection: Why is it so important to unconditionally respect the other?

Action: Take each principle on separate days this week and consciously check to see if your communication is being ‘shaped’ by that principle.

© Mike George 2010

Introversion
The ability to enjoy one's own company is one of the greatest gifts life has to offer. Learning to turn my thoughts away from all my responsibilities at the day's end and take my mind into a state of peace and benevolence enables me to carry greater and greater loads without feeling the burden. Gently, I calm down chaotic situations and offer solace to troubled minds.




- from Copyright © 2006 Thought for Today

Are YOU Awake Yet?

Although you believe you woke up this morning it is highly likely that you are still asleep. Not from the kind of sleep that keeps you unconscious during the night, but the kind of sleep that has overcome us all, to some extent or other, during our waking hours. It takes time and the practice of self awareness to ‘wake up’ from the illusions and beliefs, accumulated on life’s journey, that keep us less conscious, less aware, during our waking hours, than we could be.

However we have been in this form of sleep for so long that our thought and behaviour patterns based on these beliefs and illusions are now so well established. Waking up and staying awake means ‘seeing through’ the illusions and recognizing the false beliefs to which we are subconsciously clinging. Only when we reawaken a deeper awareness of what is true can our thoughts/feelings/behaviours change. Some of those illusions are so obvious we might wonder why we didn’t see through them earlier. Others are harder to see as we are so deeply schooled to believe that these beliefs are true!

Are you awake or are you still asleep? We can only fully know for our self. Here are four of the main signs and symptoms of someone who is sleepwalking through their life.

1 Stress Projections

You are still asleep if you blame others, situations or events for your stressful feelings. You believe others create your stress. Stress is a form of pain or discomfort that comes to tell us there is something we need to change within our self, not in the other. All stress is self-created regardless of the circumstances. That’s why some people appear to be emotionally devastated by some situations whereas others sail on through without a second thought. Every time you blame others for what you feel it means you are asleep to the truth that your thoughts and feelings are your response, therefore your responsibility or ‘response ability’. The awakened person accepts full responsibility for their thoughts/emotions/attitudes/actions…everywhere and always! Not easy, especially when almost everyone seems to find it easier to point the finger, which means they have learned to believe ‘it’s not me, it’s them’.

2 Self Comparisons

You are still asleep whenever you compare yourself with another person. It means you have not yet realised your own uniqueness and value. In effect you are saying, “I want to be someone else”. You believe that you should aspire to be like someone else and that when you are you will have achieved some sort of success. Which of course is impossible. Or you unconsciously believe, “I am unworthy, I am of less value than them”. Which is untrue! The awakened soul knows their value and is able to affirm their own worth. They never aspire to be someone else. They are constantly rising to the challenge of expanding their capacity and awakening their own true potential.

3 Controlling Behaviour

You are still asleep whenever you attempt to control or manipulate others. Whenever you become upset with someone it means you subconsciously believe you can control what you cannot control. You believe that you can make others do your bidding. Sometimes it looks like they do, but they don’t. The truth is everyone makes their own decisions on how they will act and interact, regardless of the external situation and circumstances. If you are a clever sleepwalker you may even sense the vulnerabilities of others and be quite adept at exploiting them to your own ends. But that only keeps you locked in a false power trip that is actually draining your power. As you try to take advantage of the other, deep down your conscience knows that you are compromising your authenticity and acting against the grain of right relationship. The awakened soul never takes advantage of other sleepwalkers. They know their role is to awaken others, not exploit them.

4 Emotional Indulgence

You are still asleep when you indulge your emotions, when you go searching for some stimulus to invoke the ‘feeling’ of certain emotional states. Perhaps you like to argue because is seems to enliven your day, which means you are indulging in anger. If you keep talking about what went wrong, what you have lost, it means that you like to wallow in your own sorrow. And if you keep looking into the future with trepidation and anxiety then you are likely to have an addiction to fear. The awakened soul has broken their addiction to, and dependency on, their emotional states. They have relearned to choose and create their feelings at each moment in every scene. Not so easy in a world where the most common currency of exchange in our relationships tends to be such ‘unhappy emotions’.

By © Mike George 2010, Clear Thinking