Tumbling down the stairs

Around noon time yesterday, I got into the routine of doing my running fast downstairs and excited about the meditation that followed after my brief 15 minute lunch.

I was thinking about something and did not pay much attention while I flew down, and in a split second I found myself tumbling, and rolling downhill unable to stop on the 12 steps of concrete stairs. I finally stopped at the third base and heard the water bottle that I held in my hand precipitated down yet another flight of stairs below to the last base. I was shocked when it was over. It took me more than several minutes to get back up, I felt hurt on my knee, and I rolled up the pant and immediately saw several good size scrapes on my knee.

What happened? I can't remember how did it start? I missed the step? All that I remember was that while I rolled down the stairs, I thought to myself, wow! you weren't walking down, you were tumbling down. The sensation was quite unique, profound and shocking.

I was lucky that I did not break some bones in the process. I was able to walk and go back to my office and report to safety committee. I was grateful that my company sent me immediately (safety officer even ask me whether I need an ambulance or not) to St. Jude hospital several miles down the 57 freeway. I was taken good care of, the X-ray was taken on both of my knee, the scrapped knee was cleaned and bandaged, blood pressure measured, temperature normal, got a tetanus shot and I was released after an hour's ordeal.

The beautiful part is that I excused myself from work today and tomorrow. I am happy that I got a chance reading a book "South of the Clouds", interesting stories about China from the view point of foreign journalist, a perfect escape of drudgery and tedious office work.

I have learned a lesson, never run down the stairs, walk instead. But I will continue walk up the stairs as part of my exercise.

I like to think I can learn any lesson in any situation without any hard feeling, pointless regret or any kind of bitterness. I have come to understand that any incident that happens to us has a cause that may be hidden from view at the time , nonetheless, it is there. I am very grateful that I have only minor bruises and aftermath soreness, nothing serious. I do not even mention this incident to my mother cause I believe once I have learned the lesson then I just let go. There is no need to recounting the incident to anyone except I have mentioned to James, and James kept telling me I was lucky coming out of it without serious injury. I feel the same way indeed.

A journey of inner plane!

A week has passed, I have no dream experience. For some unknown reason, I seem to not remembering anything at all upon waking. In this past week, I also got back to my meditation routine in earnest. I will take my quick 15 minute lunch and settle for 45 to 50 minutes meditation. I felt refreshed and clear minded after that. I especially like the morning meditation. It is like clockwork, I will wake up between 4:35 to 5:35 am and settle for 1-2 hours meditation.

I have since finished reading "shadow Divers" and gone on the book "One Giant Leap" about the only astronaut that I can remember the name, Neil Armstrong. As I have shifted the selection of my reading from theory to experience, I increasingly enjoy especially the real life experience as opposed to novel. I have not come across a novel that can rival the detailed accounts of human inspirational spirit in overcoming obstacles and uplifting the mind and soul of the readers.

Life is a journey, but my journey is more focused on inner exploration as opposed to outer discovery. I have not one day forget reminding myself the possibilities of reaching the highest level of frequency, vibration, consciousness and awareness afford a man in this lifetime. If I desire enough, if I work hard enough, if I impress my subconscious enough, all these inner discovery and adventure are waiting to unfold. As a man think, so is he.

OBE with chorus and children giggling!

I drove to visit someone. By the time I got midway, it was dark. I did not get to where I intended to go. Then, I found that my car was trapped in between two big trucks. I was not sure what to do. Then, there was a gentleman led me to his house. I am not sure why, but I waited in a room that had an altar. While I waited there, I saw a metal scrupture image of a man in the altar. Then the gentleman that led me to his house came in the room and woked up the metal sculpture. I was shocked and embarrassed of knowing he was a real person. I kept thinking, was I behaving appropriately while I was watching that sculpture? He seemed to have magical power.

Shortly afterwards, I floated up and down around my room, then headed across the window, while I was floating, I heard pleasing music and children's giggling sound. I felt that I was not the one that in charge of my flight. Several times, I felt a sharp turn and I immediately changed the direction of my float, almost like a roller coaster ride. I sensed there was an invisible force sending me on this journey. All the while, the singing and children's giggling continued. I woke up feeling very happy indeed.

Electricity, what is it?

Not much progress made on lucid dreaming project. In fact, I have not remembered my dreams for more than 3 weeks.

During the time, I have continued to work on my connection with univese, finished reading the "shadow Diver" and gone on reading "Electric Universe" as of now. As I have indicated in previous post, my book selection start to shift from theory to practical application of any known universal laws. Under previous inclination, I will not be interested in reading physics related material, but I found "Electric Universe" fascinating. As scientists gradually discovered many different aspects and properties of electricity, the application is infinitely expanding. We are taking granted the convenience of electricity in our modern society, that we seldom think about it at all. But looking back, we realized that many scientific breakthrough was the result of many decades (or even centuries) and many scientists relentless pursuit of their vision.

Now we live in a society that electricity infiltrate in every aspect of our life. We can't live without it anymore. Just a short two hundread years ago, we did not even know its existence.

Back to the square one

I have a feeling, I need to get back to square one again with my lucid-dreaming training. My recall ability is getting further behind. I have practically no memory of any dreams lately. That wasn't the case two to three weeks ago. Things are not happening. I went to bed every night with great anticipation, but got up in the morning with zero inspiration. I need to fire up my enthusiasm and instill a beginner's mind.

Think about when I started the lucid dreaming training, I was all excited and full of hope, but now the fire of enthusiasm is nearly extinguished. That is not good. "Lucid Dreaming in seven days", that seven day now stretches to months. How do I project my conscious awareness in my dreams? how? how? I wish I have the answer.

U-Boat!

It is a Saturday, I can spend whole day reading a fascinating book about discovery of WWII German U-boat, called: shadow divers from Robert Kurson. I got this non-fiction in Rowland Height library quite accidently. I was running short of my reading material. I started uninterested in theories, principles. I have read many inspirational books for last four years. Now I want different kind of reading material, I want to read the experience of life inself. The book took me to the heart of human spirit that have stretched my imagination.

With the story unfolded, the destiny have paved the way for two men obsessed to discover the identity of shipwreck 50 miles off the New Jersey coast. I am half way through the book, my spirit is uplifted with every page turn. I shall know the identity of the U-boat that lied in the bottom of the Atlantic ocean in a few days.

In the meantime, my voyage for lucid dreaming seems to go no where. For a week, I don't have significant impression of my dreams, I have hit a void in my dream world. There must be a way to project my conscious awareness into my dream word, yet I have no idea how to do that. I still carry with me the vibrational alarm every day, every hour to remind me doing reality check. I fill my thought of fantasizing lucid dreaming often, and yet when I was dreaming, none of what I have done matters. Dream world is still off-limit to my conscious awareness.

A fantastic astral flight

"I feel that my head is being squeezed, there is a tremendous pressure around it, it is unbearable and scary, I yell " I am God, I am God" several times, then seconds later, I am floating out of my house into the darkness. I float down to a grassy area, I can actually feel the texture of moisturized grass. It is so real, I am conscious and aware.

I say to myself, I should be able to fly. So, I get up and jump several steps and there I go. I fly higher and higher, I feel that I am flying toward Los Angeles area. I am having a good time. I encounter some people, have conversations , actually in complete conscious awareness. I bump into ceiling of a large building just to see if I can pass through it since I am aware that I am only invisible energy, an astral body....."

When I came back to my senses, I felt that my memory did not do justice of my experience. I have experienced a lot more but I can only remember a small portion of it. A lot of details were not remembered. This astral projection last the longest that I have ever recalled, and this is also my first astral experience that it was not just happened spontaneously. I was actually conscious and aware after several seconds initial out of body and was able to direct my movement and had intention to experiment while I was in it. The state of emotion was elation, a sense of awe and excitement. WOW! It was fantastic!

Spiritual Blackout

I feel like I have experienced a complete blackout of conscious awareness of my dream. Last seven days or so, I don't remember a thing of my dream. Despite my diligent work on reality checking every hour during the day, my dream time is still off-limit to my waking conscious mind. How can this be? Isn't the saying "We are what we think" still a true statement?

I admit that my life situation on last week did have some effect of my ability to recall. I slept late, sometimes very late. On average, I probably have only 5 to 6 hours sleep. My body may just need that little time to restore and recharge, and no spare moment for elaborate dream exploration. In any case, I am still on course toward my goal of lucid dreaming.

Lucid dream is dream of being conscious and aware. I imagined many times what would I do if I am conscious and aware? I will fly over the mountains of Tibet, stand on the summit of Mount Everest, walk on the moon, visit Rome, cruise to Hawaii, witness glacier of Alaska and many other thousands of places. What about the possibility of BEING my Higher Self, talking to GOD, visiting other dimensions and other worlds. The last but not the least is to know the truth of our existence, gain wisdom and knowledge of our world and the universes. There are so much to learn and to grow into, I am hardly able to contain my excitement whenever I thought of these mind and spirit adventures. It is like entire universe is on your backyard.

Are these spiritual experiences attainable? I believe it is. It will take time, effort and persistence. Yes, it may take a very long time and a lot of patience.

Walk the dog - A Dream

I had a field day walked the dog. I and my dog were out walking in many places. In the dream, I talked to my dog as if it was a person. I advised the dog to take the cane while walking, so that when it sees something that it does not like, like a nasty dog, it can just sweep the walking cane, scare the dog away and it will be safe. I even demonstrated by swinging my cane several occasions so that our path were clear.

Then we came to a place where we saw the second son in the show of "Melcolm in the middle" hanged himself in a upside down position. I used my cane to hit him in the face, then he suddenly jerked up from a comatose state...then I woke up.

This was an interesting dream. Never had I ever walked the dog in my whole waking life. First, I don't have a dog. Second, I am scared of dog, I have dog phobia. If I walk on the street and I see a cute small dog walking toward me, I will get fearful and nervous and will try to avoid it as far away as possible. To be walking side by side with a big dog naturally like in my dream was unthinkable in my waking life. Well, may be my dream is trying to tell me, nothing is impossible. I could overcome phobia, transcend fear and some day accomplish something that is unthinkable at a time.

A friendly neighbor - A Dream

"A friendly neighbor"

There were several dream scenes mingled together, I could not tell which one happended first.

One time I was playing with my sister's baby, the baby was cute but it was crying. The other time, I was having a good time talking to my neighbor, I had a handsome neighbor, we were close friends. He had this flashing, pleasant smile, we were having fun visiting each other. In the dream, whenever I want to talk to him, I just knock his door, and he is always pleasant and full of smile ..... A quite pleasant dream indeed!

Then I have this fragmented, vague dream memory about 3 types of brain wave patterns....I lost most of the content when I woke up early this morning.

Can conscious frontal lobes facilitate lucid dreaming?

There were several disappointing nights as far as lucid dream training went! But there were gains in other areas. I finished reading a novel from John Grisham, the Broker, an interesting story. I got a package for "Hypnotherapy course - module one". I have used the program for several nights trying to program my mind for lucid dreaming. It has not bear any result yet, but I will continue my learning and exploring.

During the day, I continue using the vibrating alarm to help me randomly asking my self "Am I dreaming or am I awake?", then reality checking by looking at some text, turn way and look again. Of Course, I always find myself completely awake and aware in physical reality. My biggest question is, " How can I maintain conscious awareness while I am dreaming?" It is quite an impossible task, at least to me. While I am dreaming, I am in a totally different dimension, and my conscious mind is not able to penetrate it, because it does not belong.

Now, I read a theory about the likelihood of non-sleeping "frontal lobe" for lucid dreamer. How can I manage to have my frontal lobe not to sleep during my dream time?

What a mess - A Dream

Just before my son knocking my door asking for an "Ambien" sleeping pill, I was having a full-blown dream of having taken four college courses but don't quite remember what classes that I am taking. This is about mid quarter, but I have not attended the class and worse still I am not preparing for the tests that are coming soon. I was confused and nervous. The time was about 1:30am. His knocking abruptly ended the confusion. Glad to be back on waking reality.

My bedroom pergo floor is ruined. There is a dish washing sink just next to my bed, I am doing dishes and water is dripping all over the floor. I even see soy sauce spilling all over the other side of the sink and it smells. The once beautiful wooden floor looks like a mess....

If dreams are reflection of my mind, I must have a chaotic reservoir of subconscious memories that were firing up rapidly last night! What triggered the surfacing of subconscious memory, I asked? Well, it could be anything or nothing. Mind indeed is mysterious!

Magical gadgets - A Dream

Early morning, I remembered a vague dream, but when I fully woke up, I can only remember a sentence, " The bloodline is pure", whatever that means!

Then I fell back to sleep again, I dreamed a group of us taking a trip onto the woods, and deep in the jungle, but we all had miraculous gadgets helping us out on the expedition. For me, I had a pair of magical shoes that I glided along the trail, making my hiking effortless. James had a giant sleeping blanket that kept him warm and somehow also helped his jouney. My sister in San Diego was a director of this trip. After the trip, we settled in a villa in the woods. I remembered we were looking at some sentences, every sentence represented an accomplishment. We checked each sentence and fully satisfied that we indeed accomplished what we set out to do.

Even though the dream seemed to be quite satisfying, but I woke up exhausted, tired, disoriented, my brain was unclear and I was spacing out. It took me sometime to re-orient myself to the waking reality.

Do I know you?

This morning I woke up with the most absurd dream that I have ever had. I could not even articulate what was dreamed in this journal. I am absolutely appalled of the dream content. Do I know myself? If you ask average person, "do you know yourself?" Well, we know pretty much of our look, height, weight , personality, likes and dislikes and so and so... But Do we really know ourselves? I would not be so sure if we think back of our mysterious dreams. We see the tip of the iceberg, the 1-10% of us, but what we don't see accounts for 90-99% of the entire iceberg going down miles underwater.

I believe the hypnotherapy and dream exploration are the tools that would be helpful to understand ourselves. After all, we are not just composed of this body and this mind, we are the product of many thousands if not millions years of evolution. We are a mystery upon ourselves.

"Men, know yourself and you will know the universe and the gods"

Barbecue chicken - A Dream

"We have a picnic at my work. We went to an underground cave to retrieve a chicken that we stored there earlier. We were debating if the underground cave was a good place to keep chicken fresh. After sometime, we established that due to the low temperature setting at night, the underground is perfect to keep chicken fresh.

We then contemplate how to cook the chicken. I suggested to wash it clean, tenderize it, chop it or ground it so that we can make chicken steaks and barbecue them. Well, everyone seems to agree with that!

The scene then changed to a lecture hall, I attended the lecture but had no recall what was being said...."

Our dreams are sometimes hilarious, the stone age and the modern era are all mixed up. The people that I dream are real but setting and logic are quite off on this dream. Well, who will be putting chicken in underground cave for freeze? None of us in my dream have heard about something called refrigerator?

Imagine how this dream would be different if I am lucid, conscious and immediately I will realize that it is ridiculous to freeze chicken in a cave. I might have a good laugh of myself and my coworkers by being so stupid. And yet, I and my coworkers had no questions about what have been presented to us in my dream. We take everything in face value in our dream, or may be I should say "I" take everything in face value in my dream. After all, dreams are the construct of my own mind. To shackle the illusions of dreams take lucidity of our conscious mind. Well, I got a lot to work on!

A shapeshifter? A vampire? - Dreams

A shape shifter? A vampire?

I dreamed a couple, the husband is a vampire. Is the couple related to me? I don't know. After he bite his wife, then he transformed into a werewolf. I saw the wound is huge and out of the side of the wound suddenly a grasshopper ( or some kind of large insect) jumped out of it. The werewolf dressed and behaved like a man. I saw him tossing around the content of a big coffin- like box, looking for something?

I was a onlooker of this whole thing. I was not afraid, it was almost like I was watching a movie.

How did I dream things like that is a mystery. Most of my dreams are practical, and very much related to my daily living. This vampire dream is not an ordinary dream. I did not watch scary movie like this for a very long time. If there is a meaning to it, it is beyond me. The most interesting part is the grasshopper jumping out of the side of wound, a transformation of some kind? who knows?

Psychology/Superconscious? - A Dream

I visited a psychological clinic, the clinic located on the top several-story building. I was trying to drive up to the clinic, spent several minutes looking for parking, and then I found that I had to park in the bottom garage and took elevator to the clinic. The doctor is a good and sensible person, but I don't know why I needed to visit a psychologist..... The time that I woke up was around 2:30am.

The next time I woke up round 6:30 am, I got a strange feeling about the concept of subconscious, it was vague but I felt information was important so I lied back down and tried to recall the detail of content. I twisted and turned, the phrases of ....

-Subconscious runs the show of my life
-It is overly competent , no need to eat and....
-Several days, Super conscious occupy the better part of my daily life
-What is the end result of running my daily life with Super conscious ?

These phrases were repeated over and over in my mind, it sounded like nonsense, I was unable to get past those sentences.... as if the mind was like a broken audio tape recorder caught in a loop, I felt frustrated and gave up.

So far, I have practiced reality checking, intention setting, vibrational alarm setting during the night for at least 3 months, but lucid dreaming is still a non-reality to me. Most of the time, I have hard time even to recall my dreams. It is either a hit or a miss. I need to cultivate having all parts of my consciousness to work in concert and in synchronicity to support my goal of lucid dreaming. But how do I do that?

A hypnotherapist? sounds good!

"I have a computer that once I log onto the Internet, I can see a good sized live aquarium. I see different color fish swimming around in real time, it is cool. I share my computer with people in different shift. Technician are present to fix some cable....

I talk to a counselor about the program that I like to get involve, strange thing is the counselor speaks Chinese during the counseling, and I have difficulty understanding what he said. Even though my native tongue is Mandarin, but I am so removed from Chinese culture, now the language of my dreams and my thoughts are mostly in English. I tell the person counseling me that I like to get into a career of being able to help people. Well, that is quite vague! May be a hypnotherapist?....." a very fragmented dream recall!

More than twenty years ago, Dr. Weiss published a book called: Many lives, many masters. It is such a profound work, this work opened a vast uncharted water in human psychology. Could it be possible that everyone of us has many levels of consciousness? and we are able to tap into the super conscious by using the art of hypnosis? The most precious of this book is the wisdom it tells about how life works, why are we here, the purpose of reincarnation, the lessons we supposed to learn. Under hypnosis, Catherine possessed a vast store of knowledge that was not accessible during her waking life. I was and still fascinated with the power and potentiality of hypnosis.

Lately, I started to contemplate the possibility of getting professional hypnotherapy course and practice hypnotherapy. I am always interested in metaphysics. That is one of the main reasons that I am now walking this path. Then why not work on the field that I believe in and interested in, so that I fulfill my life's intention and purpose? The more I think of it, the more I believe this is my true calling. Yes, it's may be twenty years late, but hey, we are eternal, twenty-year is not even a drop in the ocean. it is perhaps a thousandth of a drop in the ocean of eternity.

Bedding store and creative painting - A Dream

We have a store in a mall, the store is operated by two different business, one side is jewelry exhibition, the other side is bedding supplies. We happen to manage the bedding side.

In a morning before taking care of business, I need to wash my face and put my make up on, but looking all over the bathroom shelf, I don't see any cleaning cream, and I start to blame my mother for having all kinds of moisturizers and creams but don't have any basic cleaners....

I see an artist sitting on the edge of a pond and dabbling a very creative water color work. He is very skillful, by mixing and matching, he painted a very beautiful mountain surrounded by a large lake....

I am sure these scenes are just fragmented parts of a larger, more complex dream work. Isn't it interesting that our dreams have little continuity and consistency from one moment to another? Or may be we just have faulty memory, like my case, I can only remember the tail end of my dreams.

The first episode is to remind me not to overly critical of others. I agree with the teaching of this dream. I sometimes criticize my mom on various things, but believe it or not, I also tolerate a lot of her repeated undesirable behavior. But one thing that I have learned is that I don't harbor any (ill) bad feeling. Since earth is a big school, and we all come here to learn, it is understandable we mess things up all the time. We simply need to learn whatever present to us at the moment and move on.

"Most of us today think of our dreams as odd episodes, as foreign as some ceremonial dance in Tibet. This results in the cutting off of an extremely great and significant portion of the self. We are then no longer able to use much of the wisdom and power of the unconscious."
- Rollo May